10 Ways to Tell You're Reading a Story by Loopy777
lalunatique and kimberly_t have this on their fanfiction.net profiles, and I decided to finally have fun with it. Feel free to add your own, and maybe you can make the list. Don't worry about insulting me, I think I have that covered already.
10. All the sentences are long, and nary a statement is made without at least one comma. In fact, it would probably be more accurate to say that sentences wear commas like jewelry.
9. Purple prose abounds, but not in the way you usually see it. Instead of long paragraphs of descriptions, characters will ruminate on what they're sensing, and adjectives will randomly pounce like guerrilla fighters in the wilderness. More often than not, all of this description will somehow manage to tie in to one or more ongoing themes, whether or not it's appropriate or likely.
8. Any romance will be chaste romance. If it weren't for the odd kiss every so often, it'd be hard to tell if the pairings are actually romantic in nature or merely an example of two very supportive friends. This is not psychologically significant in any way.
7. Any romantic angst will be quirky romantic angst. Pairings will rarely suffer from external forces trying to keep them apart, and no character will attempt to break off a romance for the other party's perceived good. Instead, all the conflict will come from the characters struggling to even tell if they're attracted to each other, and then after they acknowledge it, they'll still waffle on deciding if the romance is worth the lifestyle compromises they'll have to make for it. This is not psychologically significant in any way.
6. Every single character thinks in a highly rational manner , and will be given to frequent bouts of dispassionate self-analysis. Yes, even the crazy ones. Especially the crazy ones. This is not psychologically significant in any way.
5. Don't look for stories about the main pairings of the original cartoon. In fact, don't look for the main characters of the original cartoon. Minor characters and strange crack-pairings rule the day.
4. It doesn't matter how inappropriate it is for the story, there will be comedic elements. This is not psychologically significant in any way.
3. Sokka or Mai. Just... Sokka or Mai. This is as psychological as it comes.
2. Serious works will often include, if not feature, characters of ambiguous, unusual, or absent morality. The presentation of these characters makes it look like that kind of behavior is being advocated.
1. Fight scenes. Fight scenes with more detail than can ever be narratively justified. Also, expect the best action sequences to randomly stop and give the POV character's full resume in a mini-essay on how awesome they are.
10. All the sentences are long, and nary a statement is made without at least one comma. In fact, it would probably be more accurate to say that sentences wear commas like jewelry.
9. Purple prose abounds, but not in the way you usually see it. Instead of long paragraphs of descriptions, characters will ruminate on what they're sensing, and adjectives will randomly pounce like guerrilla fighters in the wilderness. More often than not, all of this description will somehow manage to tie in to one or more ongoing themes, whether or not it's appropriate or likely.
8. Any romance will be chaste romance. If it weren't for the odd kiss every so often, it'd be hard to tell if the pairings are actually romantic in nature or merely an example of two very supportive friends. This is not psychologically significant in any way.
7. Any romantic angst will be quirky romantic angst. Pairings will rarely suffer from external forces trying to keep them apart, and no character will attempt to break off a romance for the other party's perceived good. Instead, all the conflict will come from the characters struggling to even tell if they're attracted to each other, and then after they acknowledge it, they'll still waffle on deciding if the romance is worth the lifestyle compromises they'll have to make for it. This is not psychologically significant in any way.
6. Every single character thinks in a highly rational manner , and will be given to frequent bouts of dispassionate self-analysis. Yes, even the crazy ones. Especially the crazy ones. This is not psychologically significant in any way.
5. Don't look for stories about the main pairings of the original cartoon. In fact, don't look for the main characters of the original cartoon. Minor characters and strange crack-pairings rule the day.
4. It doesn't matter how inappropriate it is for the story, there will be comedic elements. This is not psychologically significant in any way.
3. Sokka or Mai. Just... Sokka or Mai. This is as psychological as it comes.
2. Serious works will often include, if not feature, characters of ambiguous, unusual, or absent morality. The presentation of these characters makes it look like that kind of behavior is being advocated.
1. Fight scenes. Fight scenes with more detail than can ever be narratively justified. Also, expect the best action sequences to randomly stop and give the POV character's full resume in a mini-essay on how awesome they are.