(no subject)
Everyone's like OMG IT'S SO AMAZING YOU'RE GOING TO EUROPE
Which yes, it absolutely is, but right now I am shaking in my boots and my stomach hurts and I want to pull out all of my hair. I'm so nervous about getting lost. What if I lose my passport somehow? What if I miss a flight or a train? What if I spend way too much while I live in England or travel in France and Italy and have no money left to live on by graduation, when I have no job prospects yet? Oh and there was that part a few weeks ago where I was a complete naive idiot and lost several hundred dollars by getting scammed when trying to find a flat in England, so I'm still ashamed of that/angry at all that money I lost/pissed I didn't trust my intuition/terrified it will happen again in some respect, that I'll go into the wrong part of a city or get mugged or just plain forget and lose something. Oh and my cat Tiger was put to sleep last week. Oh and I'm graduating vet school and trying to make it out into the real world.
WHEN THE FUCK I HAVE EVER BEEN SO ANXIOUS I DON'T EVEN KNOW.
Okay. Well... I'm going. So I just have to fucking deal with it. I think I will largely love it while I'm there... as long as I don't get horribly horribly lost ;_;
Which yes, it absolutely is, but right now I am shaking in my boots and my stomach hurts and I want to pull out all of my hair. I'm so nervous about getting lost. What if I lose my passport somehow? What if I miss a flight or a train? What if I spend way too much while I live in England or travel in France and Italy and have no money left to live on by graduation, when I have no job prospects yet? Oh and there was that part a few weeks ago where I was a complete naive idiot and lost several hundred dollars by getting scammed when trying to find a flat in England, so I'm still ashamed of that/angry at all that money I lost/pissed I didn't trust my intuition/terrified it will happen again in some respect, that I'll go into the wrong part of a city or get mugged or just plain forget and lose something. Oh and my cat Tiger was put to sleep last week. Oh and I'm graduating vet school and trying to make it out into the real world.
WHEN THE FUCK I HAVE EVER BEEN SO ANXIOUS I DON'T EVEN KNOW.
Okay. Well... I'm going. So I just have to fucking deal with it. I think I will largely love it while I'm there... as long as I don't get horribly horribly lost ;_;