fuck
im still wondering what i am doing wrong.
am i absolutely horrible at relationships? or is it that i am really good at them and have been dating guys who arent?
so after spending my lunch break driving to adams work to bring him money so he can buy something to eat, which was incredible generous of me, we go out to dinner afterwards and he hints once again at not being happy with whats going on.
which in my opinion is fucked up seeing as he has basically spent the last couple weeks hinting at getting back together ie christmas gifts and dinner, kissing, hugging, hand holding, incredible sex, not to mention the fact that he called me his girlfriend to 3 people on the phone in one day, in front of me.
of course after dinner we sit in my car and talk for a little. he says he doesnt want to be committed. he wants to be friends. im crying and freaking out. i drive home crying. i sit on the floor inside the door crying. i walk the dogs crying. i cry in the shower. and crawl into bed,crying. he calls me. says he wants to finish talking on thursday. he doesnt know what to do. i say ok whatever.
i start text messaging that old friend. after a while i start to feel better. i like the way he looks at things. its a way that i wasnt able to because of the situation i am in.
i feel depressed. but i feel like i can handle it.
i cried the whole way to work this morning.
am i absolutely horrible at relationships? or is it that i am really good at them and have been dating guys who arent?
so after spending my lunch break driving to adams work to bring him money so he can buy something to eat, which was incredible generous of me, we go out to dinner afterwards and he hints once again at not being happy with whats going on.
which in my opinion is fucked up seeing as he has basically spent the last couple weeks hinting at getting back together ie christmas gifts and dinner, kissing, hugging, hand holding, incredible sex, not to mention the fact that he called me his girlfriend to 3 people on the phone in one day, in front of me.
of course after dinner we sit in my car and talk for a little. he says he doesnt want to be committed. he wants to be friends. im crying and freaking out. i drive home crying. i sit on the floor inside the door crying. i walk the dogs crying. i cry in the shower. and crawl into bed,crying. he calls me. says he wants to finish talking on thursday. he doesnt know what to do. i say ok whatever.
i start text messaging that old friend. after a while i start to feel better. i like the way he looks at things. its a way that i wasnt able to because of the situation i am in.
i feel depressed. but i feel like i can handle it.
i cried the whole way to work this morning.