i did not write this... but its is sooooo true
Breaking up is hard no matter what. Whether you're the person breaking up with someone, or the person that's being broken up with it's hard. Trust me, I've been on both sides. Why is it so hard? I guess there is always a part of you, as much as you know sometimes that it's not possible, that so badly wants it to work. There's also that part, no matter how small it is, that is still in love with and will always love the person. Yeah, it hurts knowing that you probably won't ever talk to someone you loved so deeply at one point ever again. How can that not hurt? Especially after sharing years of your life with that person and having them be such a big and important part of it. It sucks and it's not easy. Plain and simple.
Now come the reasons for the break up. Maybe the person fell out of love with you. Maybe you fell out of love with them. Maybe the person needs to grow up. Maybe you need to grow up. Maybe you find yourselves fighting all the time for no reason, but you don't know any other way to make the fighting stop then to end it. Whatever the reason may be the fact remains that one or both of you are usually not happy. As unhappy as you are sometimes it's still hard to accept and say "I don't need this person anymore in my life." Sometimes you don't really want to break up with the person, but you feel the need to because you don't know how else to stop the horrible state your relationship has evolved into. Other times it feels like you've already been broken up for the last month, so actually breaking up is the next logical step. These are all very difficult things to accept and do, but it's not healthy to go on with a relationship if neither side is benefiting from it.
For the first few weeks after the break up it's what you go to bed thinking about. It's the first thing that pops in your head when you're woken up by your alarm that reminds you to go to your shitty job. Fortunately these excessive thoughts of all the things you could have done differently to make it work and how much you miss the person slowly start to fade. Each day you think about them a little less and it hurts a little less. It's not a short process and a lot of times they say it takes half the amount of the time you were together to completely get over it. When there's one last drop of their memory left it usually means one of two things usually happens. You'll meet someone new that makes you forget completely about your last relationship, or your ex will call you right at that moment and make you question everything again. That's life and that's the vicious circle it can lead you in.
So what does this crazy little thing called love show us? Find what you want and what you know you need. Find what you love and what makes you happy. Hold onto it and cherish it. Don't ever take it for granted. Put everything you have into it to make it the best it can be, while still making sure you don't try too hard. Make sure it's real. Make sure it's realistic. Make sure it can last a lifetime. Make sure the person feels just as strongly for you as you do for them, or else it will never work. That's my advice. Take it or leave it. Do I believe in true love? I used to. I want to. I think I still do. If it can happen in movies it can happen in real life, right? All any of us can do is keep looking for it.