oh not happy
i think that katie doesn't feel the she used to about me anymore. When we talk on the phone im always happy be she doesn't even act like she is anymore it kinda bums me out and when i get bummed out it gets even worse then it started. So even though im taking these anti depressants i feel like crap and im going to feel like crap till the 27th and thats when i get to see her and if im bummed then she will be even more bummed and this whole fucking thing will start. then eventually we will break up and thats definitely what i DON'T want to do because i love her. she is the only person in this world that makes me feel better about myself. And once i heard my parents talking and they were talking about me and my mom said because i have been very depressed lately. And so she was saying " I really hope he doesn't break up with her because im scared of what might happen. I mean what he might do." They are probably right i have almost commited suicide and i hate my life and if i lost her................. i could finally go through with the whole deal and finally do something about my life. I cant wait to move to Cali. It will be so much better than this fucking place i hate it here.