til the day I die... I'll spill my heart for you...
So now I am 22... I'm done with college classes, starting an internship... getting ready to go out into the real world. Its time to really grow up and stop letting other people unknowingly control my life. Actually thats not true, other people do not control my life... I allow the emotions that I have towards other people to control me. I guess thats just one of the downsides to being a thinker... I get way too into my head sometimes and forget that things aren't how they used to be. And that maybe some people that I thought cared about me, don't anymore. It's a harsh reality to face. It makes you feel very empty when the people you care about don't care about you, and claim they never had. And until you experience it for yourself, you can't tell me to just get over it and move on. Because honestly, that is exactly what I am doing. I am trying to look at things that don't make sense in a logical way. Some of the things I've been through are enough to make a sane person crazy... and then make them snap out of it again. And if you can't step back and displace yourself from a situation like this, then you can never see things objectively enough to be able to understand it. I understand things alright. I can see which actions led to which consequences... I know what to regret and what to hold in my heart forever. I'm just not ready to let people and things that were a major part of my life go...
"Forgive? Well thats a mighty big word for such a small man. And I'm not sure I can... 'cause I don't even know now who I am and it's too soon for me to say 'forgive.' You know what they say. 'Forgive and forget, relive and regret.'"
-Rebecca Lynn Howard
"Its so complicated. I'm so frustrated. I wanna hold you close, I wanna push you away, I wanna make you go, I wanna make you stay. Should I say it? Should I tell you how I feel? Oh I want you to know, but then again I don't. It's so complicated."
-Carolyn Dawn Johnson
I'm gonna stop looking back and starting moving on
And learn how to face my fears
Love with all of my heart, make my mark
I wanna leave something here
-rascal flatts
It's okay to be angry and never let go
It only gets harder the more that you know
When you get lonely if no one's around
You know that I'll catch you when you're falling down
We came together but you left alone
And I know how it feels to walk out on your own
Maybe someday I will see you again
And you'll look me in my eyes and call me your friend
- Yellow Card
"Forgive? Well thats a mighty big word for such a small man. And I'm not sure I can... 'cause I don't even know now who I am and it's too soon for me to say 'forgive.' You know what they say. 'Forgive and forget, relive and regret.'"
-Rebecca Lynn Howard
"Its so complicated. I'm so frustrated. I wanna hold you close, I wanna push you away, I wanna make you go, I wanna make you stay. Should I say it? Should I tell you how I feel? Oh I want you to know, but then again I don't. It's so complicated."
-Carolyn Dawn Johnson
I'm gonna stop looking back and starting moving on
And learn how to face my fears
Love with all of my heart, make my mark
I wanna leave something here
-rascal flatts
It's okay to be angry and never let go
It only gets harder the more that you know
When you get lonely if no one's around
You know that I'll catch you when you're falling down
We came together but you left alone
And I know how it feels to walk out on your own
Maybe someday I will see you again
And you'll look me in my eyes and call me your friend
- Yellow Card