as you may have guessed...
Anna and I are over, complete. Our time together is through. To her...I was too much to understand. The healing I needed...she could not provide. I drove her to the edge and for that...I can never forgive myself. She never had to take care of me but she did. I didn't realize how much my problems effected her, how much she took upon herslef. How much she hurt for me. How much she hated him for me. I couldn't understand that every time I hurt myself I hurt her too. Things for me have been hard without her but I don't blame her for a minute. I am too much for anyone. I have only recently come to understand that. I can have someone with their arms around me but I can never again let my pain escape onto them. I have learned through this to keep to myself. I can't help missing the nights in which I knew I was never alone, but I can never relive the moments when I knew she was. A new chapter perhaps. We are civil...but things have changed. Jay changed more than he knew (or cared to realize). I don't "blame" him or anything. As I said I am just too much to deal with. But that pain...pushed me over the edge...and it was more than she could take. Hell, it was almost more than I could take. Can take. A confusing life, brought one more section to a dramatic end.