(no subject)

[lookingforlight]

Have you ever passed someone in a car, a complete stranger, and wished you could trade places with them? If only for a moment, to reassure yourself that you are real, that everything you are feeling is real, that everything that is happening is real, and that you are not the only one in the world it is happening to.

I want to leave.

I want to be held once more.
   and told that I am alright.
  Perhaps even good.

It pains me

and causes me to say things I would not otherwise say

I despise when people leave your life, then return to it and you are                unable to turn them away.
   all you can do is try to comfort them in their time of need

and hate yourself for what you could have done to save them.

And I despise myself for not being stronger than I am.
                         as strong as I should be

for not being able to let it pass. 
         Like the good little girl

that I always thought myself to be

1. so here I am
2.                                            wish me luck