(no subject)
Day 1 - Your best friend
Day 2 - Your crush
Day 3 - Your parents
Day 4 -Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 - Your dreams
Day 6 - A stranger
Day 7 - Your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 - Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 - Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 - Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 - A deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 - The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 - Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 - Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 - The person you miss the most
Day 16 - Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 - Someone from your childhood
Day 18 - The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 - Someone that pesters your mind-good or bad
Day 20 - The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 - Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 21.5 - Someone you didn't understand, until all was said and done
Day 22 - Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 - The last person you kissed
Day 24 - The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 - The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 - The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 - The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 - Someone that changed your life
Day 29 - The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 - Your reflection in the mirror
1 + I wish I could express all of the things I feel for you. You have been the kindest, warmest, most forgiving friend I've ever had and yet I still don't know what to do with it. No one has ever treated me so well, or so sympathetically, and with such compassion. I wish I knew how to be a friend like you.
2 + You were the first. And I hope you're the last. I can't stand you not being here anymore. You've moved and I feel like something is missing from my heart. I wish I could just talk to you on the phone and hear your voice. I wish I could've kissed you like I wanted.
3 + The only people that will always be there for me. I love you with all my heart, and the protectiveness that overcomes me in sight of your despair is so ferocious and uncontrollable. I would do anything for you. I have already sacrificed so much so as to not disappoint you. I wish I knew how to make you both happy.
4 + I wish we lived closer, and could have talked more. We had a bit of an age gap between us, but it was so comfortable to be with you, and felt nice. I've never had that real feeling with relatives. I missed not having you around after only spending 4 days with you.
5 + I dreamt of being a ballerina when I was young. I dream of visiting Neptune. I still want to go to Pluto. I dream of having a partner. Someone who's warmth I'd feel at my back, and wake up finding watching me sleep. I dream of traveling the world spreading love and charity and helping others in their time of need. I dream of kissing my first love even though I know that's impossible.
6 + Dear stranger, I wish I would've talked to you. Told you that your shoe lace was loose before you tripped. Stranger, I wish I could make you happier, only to take the frown off your face. Stranger, I wish I was brave enough to walk up to you and say hi, just to start a conversation and see what your life is like.
7 + The first and last love I think I'll ever let affect me the way I let you. You were the first that I would say anything and everything to. You were the first I felt comfortable sharing my feelings with. You helped me recognize who I am, and you were the first person to reject me when I suddenly realized I wanted more than your friendship. I wanted to take you to my bed and show you my love. I wanted to hold you, caress your cheek, cradle your face in my hands and kiss you until I couldn't breath anymore. You were the first to make my heart swoop in my chest. The first to make me feel like strings were pulling my heart up in to my throat. You are the first person I loved more than myself, and I hope you're the last person to make my heart hurt so much. You are everything I never knew I wanted. Everything I'll never have. Even now, when it hurts so much, the person I want to talk to the most is you.
8 + I wish I could see you everyday. We started talking only because I avidly commented on many of your fanfic stories. I even appreciated a pairing only because of the way you wrote it. You came down for my graduation, even when it cost you money and time and a lousy trip on the airplane to come and see an internet friend that I didn't even think you'd like. You have been my best friend almost since the beginning since I joined fandom. You're the kindest, most thoughtful friend one could ask for, and you're my friend.
9 + Dear Batman, I wish you'd take me for a ride on your batmobile. And make sure to be George Clooney, because he's just so hot.
10 + Dear quasi-friend, because of #7, I'm afraid to get too close to you. I'm afraid of becoming close friends with you, only because it always changes things. It always changes the dynamic, no matter how hard you try to stay the same, having someone tell you they're gay/bi/lesbian always changes how you're perceived. I'll never tell you, or anybody else what I am. Only because I can't stand the change after. The way phone calls decrease, FB messages disappear, friends distance themselves. It's too lonely, and I need socialization. I want friends, but only superficial friends. You will never know my heart. No one will ever get to see all of me.
11 + Dear Granny, you died so recently, and I never got to know you. I never got to talk to you one on one. I could never sit at your feet and listen to stories of your past. I wish I knew you. I wish I knew why you were so distant from your girls. Why did it have to be like that?
12 + Mom, I don't hate you, I hate your words. I hate the fact that what you say means a lot to me, and everything you say - I hear it. I've learned how to be passive aggressive because of you. You were a strict parent, and now you're still clingy and overbearing and completely controlling my life. Yet I still love you. I hear everything you say, and I remember everything you've ever called me. I know you didn't want to hurt me, but you said those things and they can't be taken back. I hate that I can't be myself because you would hate who I am.
13 + Trish. The week I lost your friendship was the week I realized I would forever regret how I acted with you. You are the most generous, thoughtful person I ever had the pleasure of meeting, but when I crossed the line, I wish I was strong enough to say don't go. Please, forgive me. I was wrong. You were the coolest person I had ever met, and the funnest person to be around. You are strong and beautiful but cut throat and severe. Why couldn't you see what was going on with me?
14 + S, after I told you, I was so scared. I wanted to trust you. I told you my secret, and now, since everything has changed and you're not comfortable around me, I'm sorry I told you. I wish I hadn't. I wish we could be back to what we were, best friends. I thought I could tell you anything, be me, but it made you uncomfortable, and I told you that I would never be attracted to you. How could you? It was insulting and stupid and I wish I had never said a word to you.
15 + I miss the old me. Life wasn't so cruel. I miss the 6 year old me that trusted in her mom and was completely obedient and ignorant of the world. Mom's kiss on my skinned knees and bruised elbows always did the trick. I wish I still had that life, I wish I was still ignorant to the me of today.
16 + Hey USA TEAM, how about playing some good games now? Go ahead and try to win FIFA, why don't ya?
17 + Erical. I really didn't like you in elementary. I was so glad we'd be going to different schools after 5th grade. You teased and taunted me, made me the butt of cruel jokes and had the meanest cackle laugh a thin, sharp faced girl like you could have. Why did you get to be the popular one? The one everybody wanted to be around?
18 + Dear 3 year old self, enjoy learning new words and stumbling around on fat chubby ankle/feet. Savor the feeling of having mom or dad carry you around in their arms letting you see way more than your 3 foot stature could ever let you see. Enjoy the summer days at the pool and sodas with sour straws. Savor the feel of being held in your mother's arms when you wanted to be comforted. Savor the feeling of security and warmth of your home after returning from daycare/pre-k, kindercare trips. Never forget to run to your parents and give them big hugs and wet kisses on their cheeks, just to plop down on the bed/sofa with them and watch a silly family show. Savor not knowing the harsh realities of the world.
19 + Dear Y, I can't help but feel that pull from you. I have to turn away from you so I don't stare. Your confidence draws me in, and I can't seem to ignore it completely. You curled your hair the other day, and had it up in a messy bun with your cute new funky glasses, paired with a pressed white halter and a great form-fitting suit jacket. Only to make me gulp once I saw you had on a matching skirt to complete the entire bombshell outfit. I can't help but notice you and it scares me like crazy because I just want to be around you. You don't even need to talk to me, just let me be close to you.
20 + Dear #7, I can never seem to get away from you. You haunt my every day. I think about you every day and I don't want to anymore. I don't want to think of you, I don't want to feel this way. I wanted it to be mutual, for you to feel the same pull I felt. You don't though. You feel a connection, but not the way I do. Sometimes I feel like you're doing things regular best friends wouldn't, yet why would you do that if what you should be doing is distancing yourself? Would I have been your one exception? Or has your one exception been used already? I think it has. I don't believe what you told me. I think you changed your words to try and help save me. I have cried so many tears over you. I have lost many nights of sleep over the idea of you and me. Until today, I was doing better. I had the occasional sad day where I'd only think of you, but I'm hopeful tomorrow I'll return to that. Your touch made me want more. When you hugged me, I felt every curve, felt goosebumps rise up my back and tickle my senses. My body was completely aware of yours and it killed me. Once I knew what you felt, I could never hug you the same again. You would never want me, and I would always wonder why not. You would hug my right side, and I would wrap one arm around your shoulder, keeping my heart away from your touch. I've never felt such an overwhelming surge of desire, or fierce protectiveness. A part of my heart will always be held in your cruel hands. You could crush me, even to this day.
21 + Dear M, I wish I could have let you free.
random addition/// 21.5 +Dear L, I thought we were best friends. I thought you felt the same. You made me feel okay to be me. And then you ridiculed me. You emphasized my weakness. What was there left to do? I knew you didn't want this friendship anymore so I pulled away and let it free. I let you go and you didn't even seem to care.
22 + M, you hurt me. You literally bruised my arms and pulled my hair because you lost your stupid dog. What the hell, I didn't tell the dog to die. Why did you have to get angry at me and start hurting me? It was done, and it was your fault. You tried to apologize, my mother got so upset with you she wanted to hit you herself. But she let her mom do that. What made you think that was okay?
23 + Only in dreams.
24 + Thanks 'rents, for taking me to Disney World.
25 + Dear C, I wish I knew what to do for you. I wish you weren't going through this right now. I'm praying for you and your mom, but I hope you know that begging for a miracle, expecting some type of amazing miracle doesn't always happen. God doesn't do things because you're testing him. Things happen in strange ways, but I hope you'll call for support, even when you don't want to. I wish you could mend things with your mom, because I know you guys haven't had the best relationship.
26 + I haven't told a soul.
27 + I wish we were still friends today. I had a blast talking with you, and I felt so close to you after all was said and done. Who knew 2 people could bond so easily, and so quickly, just by a chance meeting in a store while waiting for work to call? I never expected it, but it was one of the coolest afternoons I'll ever remember.
28 + K, you taught me so much. You taught me what real friends were. You made me feel so many different emotions, and to such a magnitude, sometimes I didn't even know what to do with myself. You helped me grow, and I still let you down. Those few months with you were some of the best, most cruelest, fulfilling and overwhelming months of my life. And now you're not here, and I have to learn how to live a life alone again. You showed me what true compassion is. You told me things you didn't tell many others. You shared secrets with me that I'll never divulge to anybody else. You taught me love.
29 + You only knew a 1/4 of my feelings for you. How could I tell you everything when I knew it was a fruitless endeavor? It was over before it could even begin. I just wanted to hold your hand. Touch the small of your back. Kiss you behind your ear. How could I tell you I could have loved you forever? How could I so willingly hold my heart out to you, knowing you wouldn't want it? It nearly killed me. My heart has been wounded. The scars have barely stopped weeping. No one could overshadow you. You were my world.
30 + You've changed more. It's too late to notice when those circles under your eyes got darker. You know why though. You remember why. The weight has come back, the emotional whirlwind has grown in strength and an upheaval of bitterness and anxiety has taken residence in your soul. Sleep doesn't come easy anymore, and trusting others is practically impossible. Stop frowning, the indention in your forehead will only get more pronounced. Smile more. The world isn't as cruel as you feel it is. Just take the reins and strength will come to you as you ride. Hold on tight, but don't forget to let loose and enjoy the wind in your face when it's safe. Take a little risk, don't let your heart hide away all the time. Be happy. Be grateful. Never forget the love you have felt. Never forget the sweet fulfillment. Never forget the warmth and joy of it. Love your family, appreciate your friends, feel your life. Don't give up. Savor those happy moments. Let your hair down. Take a walk. Enjoy the sun and let your skin get dark.
Day 2 - Your crush
Day 3 - Your parents
Day 4 -Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 - Your dreams
Day 6 - A stranger
Day 7 - Your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 - Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 - Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 - Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 - A deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 - The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 - Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 - Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 - The person you miss the most
Day 16 - Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 - Someone from your childhood
Day 18 - The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 - Someone that pesters your mind-good or bad
Day 20 - The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 - Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 21.5 - Someone you didn't understand, until all was said and done
Day 22 - Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 - The last person you kissed
Day 24 - The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 - The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 - The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 - The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 - Someone that changed your life
Day 29 - The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 - Your reflection in the mirror
1 + I wish I could express all of the things I feel for you. You have been the kindest, warmest, most forgiving friend I've ever had and yet I still don't know what to do with it. No one has ever treated me so well, or so sympathetically, and with such compassion. I wish I knew how to be a friend like you.
2 + You were the first. And I hope you're the last. I can't stand you not being here anymore. You've moved and I feel like something is missing from my heart. I wish I could just talk to you on the phone and hear your voice. I wish I could've kissed you like I wanted.
3 + The only people that will always be there for me. I love you with all my heart, and the protectiveness that overcomes me in sight of your despair is so ferocious and uncontrollable. I would do anything for you. I have already sacrificed so much so as to not disappoint you. I wish I knew how to make you both happy.
4 + I wish we lived closer, and could have talked more. We had a bit of an age gap between us, but it was so comfortable to be with you, and felt nice. I've never had that real feeling with relatives. I missed not having you around after only spending 4 days with you.
5 + I dreamt of being a ballerina when I was young. I dream of visiting Neptune. I still want to go to Pluto. I dream of having a partner. Someone who's warmth I'd feel at my back, and wake up finding watching me sleep. I dream of traveling the world spreading love and charity and helping others in their time of need. I dream of kissing my first love even though I know that's impossible.
6 + Dear stranger, I wish I would've talked to you. Told you that your shoe lace was loose before you tripped. Stranger, I wish I could make you happier, only to take the frown off your face. Stranger, I wish I was brave enough to walk up to you and say hi, just to start a conversation and see what your life is like.
7 + The first and last love I think I'll ever let affect me the way I let you. You were the first that I would say anything and everything to. You were the first I felt comfortable sharing my feelings with. You helped me recognize who I am, and you were the first person to reject me when I suddenly realized I wanted more than your friendship. I wanted to take you to my bed and show you my love. I wanted to hold you, caress your cheek, cradle your face in my hands and kiss you until I couldn't breath anymore. You were the first to make my heart swoop in my chest. The first to make me feel like strings were pulling my heart up in to my throat. You are the first person I loved more than myself, and I hope you're the last person to make my heart hurt so much. You are everything I never knew I wanted. Everything I'll never have. Even now, when it hurts so much, the person I want to talk to the most is you.
8 + I wish I could see you everyday. We started talking only because I avidly commented on many of your fanfic stories. I even appreciated a pairing only because of the way you wrote it. You came down for my graduation, even when it cost you money and time and a lousy trip on the airplane to come and see an internet friend that I didn't even think you'd like. You have been my best friend almost since the beginning since I joined fandom. You're the kindest, most thoughtful friend one could ask for, and you're my friend.
9 + Dear Batman, I wish you'd take me for a ride on your batmobile. And make sure to be George Clooney, because he's just so hot.
10 + Dear quasi-friend, because of #7, I'm afraid to get too close to you. I'm afraid of becoming close friends with you, only because it always changes things. It always changes the dynamic, no matter how hard you try to stay the same, having someone tell you they're gay/bi/lesbian always changes how you're perceived. I'll never tell you, or anybody else what I am. Only because I can't stand the change after. The way phone calls decrease, FB messages disappear, friends distance themselves. It's too lonely, and I need socialization. I want friends, but only superficial friends. You will never know my heart. No one will ever get to see all of me.
11 + Dear Granny, you died so recently, and I never got to know you. I never got to talk to you one on one. I could never sit at your feet and listen to stories of your past. I wish I knew you. I wish I knew why you were so distant from your girls. Why did it have to be like that?
12 + Mom, I don't hate you, I hate your words. I hate the fact that what you say means a lot to me, and everything you say - I hear it. I've learned how to be passive aggressive because of you. You were a strict parent, and now you're still clingy and overbearing and completely controlling my life. Yet I still love you. I hear everything you say, and I remember everything you've ever called me. I know you didn't want to hurt me, but you said those things and they can't be taken back. I hate that I can't be myself because you would hate who I am.
13 + Trish. The week I lost your friendship was the week I realized I would forever regret how I acted with you. You are the most generous, thoughtful person I ever had the pleasure of meeting, but when I crossed the line, I wish I was strong enough to say don't go. Please, forgive me. I was wrong. You were the coolest person I had ever met, and the funnest person to be around. You are strong and beautiful but cut throat and severe. Why couldn't you see what was going on with me?
14 + S, after I told you, I was so scared. I wanted to trust you. I told you my secret, and now, since everything has changed and you're not comfortable around me, I'm sorry I told you. I wish I hadn't. I wish we could be back to what we were, best friends. I thought I could tell you anything, be me, but it made you uncomfortable, and I told you that I would never be attracted to you. How could you? It was insulting and stupid and I wish I had never said a word to you.
15 + I miss the old me. Life wasn't so cruel. I miss the 6 year old me that trusted in her mom and was completely obedient and ignorant of the world. Mom's kiss on my skinned knees and bruised elbows always did the trick. I wish I still had that life, I wish I was still ignorant to the me of today.
16 + Hey USA TEAM, how about playing some good games now? Go ahead and try to win FIFA, why don't ya?
17 + Erical. I really didn't like you in elementary. I was so glad we'd be going to different schools after 5th grade. You teased and taunted me, made me the butt of cruel jokes and had the meanest cackle laugh a thin, sharp faced girl like you could have. Why did you get to be the popular one? The one everybody wanted to be around?
18 + Dear 3 year old self, enjoy learning new words and stumbling around on fat chubby ankle/feet. Savor the feeling of having mom or dad carry you around in their arms letting you see way more than your 3 foot stature could ever let you see. Enjoy the summer days at the pool and sodas with sour straws. Savor the feel of being held in your mother's arms when you wanted to be comforted. Savor the feeling of security and warmth of your home after returning from daycare/pre-k, kindercare trips. Never forget to run to your parents and give them big hugs and wet kisses on their cheeks, just to plop down on the bed/sofa with them and watch a silly family show. Savor not knowing the harsh realities of the world.
19 + Dear Y, I can't help but feel that pull from you. I have to turn away from you so I don't stare. Your confidence draws me in, and I can't seem to ignore it completely. You curled your hair the other day, and had it up in a messy bun with your cute new funky glasses, paired with a pressed white halter and a great form-fitting suit jacket. Only to make me gulp once I saw you had on a matching skirt to complete the entire bombshell outfit. I can't help but notice you and it scares me like crazy because I just want to be around you. You don't even need to talk to me, just let me be close to you.
20 + Dear #7, I can never seem to get away from you. You haunt my every day. I think about you every day and I don't want to anymore. I don't want to think of you, I don't want to feel this way. I wanted it to be mutual, for you to feel the same pull I felt. You don't though. You feel a connection, but not the way I do. Sometimes I feel like you're doing things regular best friends wouldn't, yet why would you do that if what you should be doing is distancing yourself? Would I have been your one exception? Or has your one exception been used already? I think it has. I don't believe what you told me. I think you changed your words to try and help save me. I have cried so many tears over you. I have lost many nights of sleep over the idea of you and me. Until today, I was doing better. I had the occasional sad day where I'd only think of you, but I'm hopeful tomorrow I'll return to that. Your touch made me want more. When you hugged me, I felt every curve, felt goosebumps rise up my back and tickle my senses. My body was completely aware of yours and it killed me. Once I knew what you felt, I could never hug you the same again. You would never want me, and I would always wonder why not. You would hug my right side, and I would wrap one arm around your shoulder, keeping my heart away from your touch. I've never felt such an overwhelming surge of desire, or fierce protectiveness. A part of my heart will always be held in your cruel hands. You could crush me, even to this day.
21 + Dear M, I wish I could have let you free.
random addition/// 21.5 +Dear L, I thought we were best friends. I thought you felt the same. You made me feel okay to be me. And then you ridiculed me. You emphasized my weakness. What was there left to do? I knew you didn't want this friendship anymore so I pulled away and let it free. I let you go and you didn't even seem to care.
22 + M, you hurt me. You literally bruised my arms and pulled my hair because you lost your stupid dog. What the hell, I didn't tell the dog to die. Why did you have to get angry at me and start hurting me? It was done, and it was your fault. You tried to apologize, my mother got so upset with you she wanted to hit you herself. But she let her mom do that. What made you think that was okay?
23 + Only in dreams.
24 + Thanks 'rents, for taking me to Disney World.
25 + Dear C, I wish I knew what to do for you. I wish you weren't going through this right now. I'm praying for you and your mom, but I hope you know that begging for a miracle, expecting some type of amazing miracle doesn't always happen. God doesn't do things because you're testing him. Things happen in strange ways, but I hope you'll call for support, even when you don't want to. I wish you could mend things with your mom, because I know you guys haven't had the best relationship.
26 + I haven't told a soul.
27 + I wish we were still friends today. I had a blast talking with you, and I felt so close to you after all was said and done. Who knew 2 people could bond so easily, and so quickly, just by a chance meeting in a store while waiting for work to call? I never expected it, but it was one of the coolest afternoons I'll ever remember.
28 + K, you taught me so much. You taught me what real friends were. You made me feel so many different emotions, and to such a magnitude, sometimes I didn't even know what to do with myself. You helped me grow, and I still let you down. Those few months with you were some of the best, most cruelest, fulfilling and overwhelming months of my life. And now you're not here, and I have to learn how to live a life alone again. You showed me what true compassion is. You told me things you didn't tell many others. You shared secrets with me that I'll never divulge to anybody else. You taught me love.
29 + You only knew a 1/4 of my feelings for you. How could I tell you everything when I knew it was a fruitless endeavor? It was over before it could even begin. I just wanted to hold your hand. Touch the small of your back. Kiss you behind your ear. How could I tell you I could have loved you forever? How could I so willingly hold my heart out to you, knowing you wouldn't want it? It nearly killed me. My heart has been wounded. The scars have barely stopped weeping. No one could overshadow you. You were my world.
30 + You've changed more. It's too late to notice when those circles under your eyes got darker. You know why though. You remember why. The weight has come back, the emotional whirlwind has grown in strength and an upheaval of bitterness and anxiety has taken residence in your soul. Sleep doesn't come easy anymore, and trusting others is practically impossible. Stop frowning, the indention in your forehead will only get more pronounced. Smile more. The world isn't as cruel as you feel it is. Just take the reins and strength will come to you as you ride. Hold on tight, but don't forget to let loose and enjoy the wind in your face when it's safe. Take a little risk, don't let your heart hide away all the time. Be happy. Be grateful. Never forget the love you have felt. Never forget the sweet fulfillment. Never forget the warmth and joy of it. Love your family, appreciate your friends, feel your life. Don't give up. Savor those happy moments. Let your hair down. Take a walk. Enjoy the sun and let your skin get dark.