Weird...
So it has officially been a year since the worst day of my life.
I remember everything so vividly that sometimes it still makes my heart drop. The feeling of getting dressed while pondering, "What is Josh hiding from me?" Sitting on that chair--the tall brown chair--looking out at Linda Jo wait on a table, the middle booth in section two. Suddenly I had a hunch. I called up Jessica and the mere shrieking of her voice told me enough. I remember feeling dead inside. I remember wanting to die. However, the only thing that stayed dead was my relationship with Josh.
Now everything is different. And, in all honesty, I know exactly why I easily talk and trust and hang out with Jessica every waking hour. As long as I don't begrudge her, or as long as I don't go out of my way to be mean to her, than I forget that I even have something to be mean to her about. It makes it feel like it never happened, and I think that is the healthiest way to handle something so devastating, because otherwise I don't see how I could ever get over it.
Anyway, like I said before; if I had known that exactly a year later I'd be on a plane to California, I probably wouldn't have cared so much!
I'll see everyone when I get back! Jess, Olive--I love you two!
I remember everything so vividly that sometimes it still makes my heart drop. The feeling of getting dressed while pondering, "What is Josh hiding from me?" Sitting on that chair--the tall brown chair--looking out at Linda Jo wait on a table, the middle booth in section two. Suddenly I had a hunch. I called up Jessica and the mere shrieking of her voice told me enough. I remember feeling dead inside. I remember wanting to die. However, the only thing that stayed dead was my relationship with Josh.
Now everything is different. And, in all honesty, I know exactly why I easily talk and trust and hang out with Jessica every waking hour. As long as I don't begrudge her, or as long as I don't go out of my way to be mean to her, than I forget that I even have something to be mean to her about. It makes it feel like it never happened, and I think that is the healthiest way to handle something so devastating, because otherwise I don't see how I could ever get over it.
Anyway, like I said before; if I had known that exactly a year later I'd be on a plane to California, I probably wouldn't have cared so much!
I'll see everyone when I get back! Jess, Olive--I love you two!