Depleted

[looking2tomorro]

I drove by myself for 2 hours tonight. A person like me should not be left alone with my thoughts because they can either envelop me or kill me. I hate thinking. I hate possibliities. I hate feelings in general. I wish you could feel and not be wrong. I wish you could think and not be wrong. I wish that no matter how much you may doubt yourself, your gut feeling was always indisputably right. I hate having no certainty. It's like a black hole that sucks away all my hope. I have been alone all my life. Of course, I have friends. Many. But I am searching for that one person who can unlock the thoughts in my mind and share them with me. I want someone who can roll with me as crazy as I may, and most likely will get. Why can no one give me this chance? Why do the fates make me so undeserving? what do I do wrong that causes me all this pain?I want to know so I can change it.

For whatever reason, I know I cant.

It will make victory all the more sweeter...

should I ever find my sunrise.