say there will be a last kiss. . .
this last week has been the worst of my entire life. and, i can say that truthfully. saturday-today (edit: the last week and a day...)totally and completly sucked hardcore. bad decisions and worse feelings.
being told that you have been living a lie is the worst feeling ever. and then the realization that, no, it will not turn out in the end, things will not fix themselves and you will not be happy.
fairy tales dont exsist. they are clever little concoctions made by people who want to sugar coat todays world.
everything i thought i knew, everything i thought was real . . .isnt. and its as simple and as complex as that.
_pictures are easier to put up than they are to take down. especially when you dont want to. but they are constant reminders of the life that once was, the life you lost_
i have learned though, in this week, that friends are my foundation. when i broke down at lunch the other day, i could count on them. rach, jacque, jenny, sarah, bradley, everybody who was there and just sat there, not saying anything, just comforting me with their simple presence, their understanding attitudes. they sat there and let me cry, let me get everything id been holding in ---> out. then the way i have two of the greatest guy friends on the face of the planet, mike and kyle. kyle, always cheers me up. no matter what the hell is going on. and mike, tonite, was the greatest. he understood and sympathized he listens. he told me life sucks hardcore but he made me promise not to get really bad emo on him. just for you gorgeous! and cuz i know you read this. ;-) everybody. thank you.
jenny: "are you going to be okay?"
me: "no. not today, not now. not tomorrow, or the next day...maybe even not next week. . . but . . . eventually."
my world is falling apart at the seams.
so much for all the promises you made, they served you well.
now you're gone and theyre wasted on me.
so much for your endearing sense of charm, it served you well.
now its just worn and wasted on me.
please god, please. help me forget...i dont want to hurt anymore.