Therapy
So the new therapist, Susan, says that she's had good results with depressed women when they deal with their grief.
"Do you think you have grief?" she said.
"Shit yeah," I said inelegantly. "And I don't just mean around my mom's death."
"Yes," she said. "I meant more than that."
So, note to self: deal with grief.
I can't stand it, that I'm going to go over all that again, but I've pretty much seen it coming for a couple of years. And the truth is, every time you circle around the same wounds, they are different. You stand a chance of resolving them a bit more, now that they mean something else. It meant one thing to grieve about having such inadequate parents when they were living -- it was a way of separating myself so I could get married and live a life. It means something else now that my mother is dead and my dad gets more demented all the time. No need to get away from them anymore, but great sadness somehow that even the *context* of my childhood unhappiness is dissolving. No reparations yet? My, I guess the universe really IS indifferent.
I'm bitching about this, but I have never, never been sorry about any therapeutic work I've done. Sometimes it has changed me in positive ways I couldn't even imagine before
"Do you think you have grief?" she said.
"Shit yeah," I said inelegantly. "And I don't just mean around my mom's death."
"Yes," she said. "I meant more than that."
So, note to self: deal with grief.
I can't stand it, that I'm going to go over all that again, but I've pretty much seen it coming for a couple of years. And the truth is, every time you circle around the same wounds, they are different. You stand a chance of resolving them a bit more, now that they mean something else. It meant one thing to grieve about having such inadequate parents when they were living -- it was a way of separating myself so I could get married and live a life. It means something else now that my mother is dead and my dad gets more demented all the time. No need to get away from them anymore, but great sadness somehow that even the *context* of my childhood unhappiness is dissolving. No reparations yet? My, I guess the universe really IS indifferent.
I'm bitching about this, but I have never, never been sorry about any therapeutic work I've done. Sometimes it has changed me in positive ways I couldn't even imagine before