Pointless pouring of feelings from inside
So anyway, I'm ranting on here alot today since I have oh-so-many readers on xanga, and oh-so-few people who really understand... But anyway... I, like many others, desire someone where we can always run to and talk to, cry on their shoulder, etc. But me, I'm constantly reassured that I -do-, in fact, have that type of person to run to, but how? Then all of a sudden, my mind is practically screaming at me to just shut up, suck it up, and place a smile on my face. And just to let everything go and move on. But letting everything go is practically suicide in my opinion! I mean, if you just abandon everything, you'll eventually lose your will to live and then go PLOP and die. Well, that's my opinion at least. And here i am, just typing away words onto a screen that place words that have been encased in my mind for quite awhile... Well, who knew that I'd end up thinking of such things like this, I guess I'm a little more deep that I thought I was... Anyway, moving on. Thinking about all of this, I just seem out of place, like I've mentioned before. It's just that in the past few days, I've started to really 'go under' because of well, quite a few events. Like when I was at Grandpa's, we were watching a video on biology, evolution and that stuff, Erin and I fell asleep in the middle of the movie, but all the stuff that I -did- see really posed an impact on me. My faith that's actually left in God and religion and all that stuff was really impacted by this biology stuff, slowly leading me to "THE DARK SIDE" well, not really. I mean, what kind of dude makes a theory that everything evolved for something else by spending about 25 years or so on Galapagos island?! It's insane! But oh well. And another event was just the many whip lashes and brawls between me and Erin, almost everything I say she just -has- to snap back at! But hey, "Sisters are made to get on your nerves...and that helps prepare you for life later on" as John-Chase told me, and that's pretty much true with any sibling, or other annoying family relatives. (Like my 9 year old cousin...) Speaking of which... next year is my -very- last year of school with Erin. It's so strange, it's sorta like elementary but there's no "Oh yeah we'll be going to school together in two years!" Because well, who knows, we'll prolly end up going to different colleges... She wants to be a nurse and/or a paramedic and I either want to be a web designer or a Band director. It's a really weird thing to think about in my opinion, but now I'm going to just STOP here, because I'm pretty sure that whoever is reading this is prolly just like "OH MY GOSH WHY CAN'T SHE SHUT UP ALREADY?!" So cha.