Mission : Impossible
'Sharpe's Mission' is one of the TV movies that is not grounded in book!canon. I'm not even sure it's grounded in TV!canon.... that is not to say that it's not amusing to watch, - it is, and it has some epic moments - but a viewing requires a high tolerance of plot- and canon-holes.
It feels a bit like people in the TV studio had a cursory look at the Sharpe series to date and then decided to cram any cliche that had not been already absolutely overused into this movie...
The movie starts out by completely confusing the viewer; the setting is in 1810 (not 1813 as expected) and Captain Sharpe and Major Brand are leading a dozen soldiers into an ambush like bloody amateurs.
Why a Captain and a Major are needed to command a dozen soldiers is beyond me. Anyway, Brand does something sneaky and treacherous, but makes it look heroic and Sharpe... Sharpe proceeds to fanboy Brand.
Yes. The movie really deconstructs the 'Sharpe character', and in more ways that just this, and it's painful to watch. 'Harper', too.
It's even something of a plotpoint *cough* that the report by Captain Sharpe is then the making of Major into Colonel Brand, I'm not sure how that's supposed to work, either...
To my great relief I realised then that this was a flash-back and the film returns to 1813. There the one redeeming feature of the film becomes apparent: the transition from hero-smitten damsel in distress!Jane to money stealing social climbing shrew!Jane gets exposition, something that is only mentioned in passing in the books (pretty much the only thing we hear about it is that Sharpe is in 'marital bad odour' in 'Sharpe's Revenge' - o-tone Sharpe: 'I stink').
Then there are the chosen men frolicking through the woods with gypsies,
more gypsies are slaughtered by troopers out of uniform and a masked mystery man rescues a gypsy girl. With pyrotechnics.
*headbasin*
In camp, a would-be poet and painter from the London Gazette annoys everyone (to Sharpe: 'Have you done anything heroic?'), Sharpe fanboys Brand,
Jane invites everyone but Wellie to dinner, Wellie is miffed that he's not invited and mocks Sharpe mercylessly about his social climbing,
the chosen men fraternise with the gypsies,
and Sharpe has a discussion of Harper's sexlife with Ramona, who hasn't had any ups nor down for 2 months. (EPIC!)
and THIS is what is going on in Sharpe's mind at that point:
Click to viewEPIC.
Anyway there are more shenannigans with gypsies and Ramona and Harper being harrassed by one of Brand's sergeants and the dinner where Brand insults everyone, and Jane and pseudo poet make mooglie eyes at each other...
Oh and there's a bit of exposition about why mystery man with mask is absolutely necessary for the next mission, and how he and Ross were great friends once, but are estranged now, 'cus Ross blew mystery man up and the rest of the gypsies are murdered, exept for mystery man's gypsy girl, and Harris gets blamed, and as punishment he has to stay and defend Mrs. Sharpe's virtue against poetic attacks.
And clues about Brand's treachery are dropped left and right, too.
Then the pov switches to the French and we learn about sheep and goats, and the sheep are slaughtered in due course by Brand's troopers, Sharpe is suspicious, Ross admits everything, and suddenly it's night and they are at Henneth Annun.
This threw me so badly that I completely lost the plot *cough* the first time I saw the movie and never understood why there was a guy at a stake with explosives... for some reason Harper then has a tussle with the short tough guy in the Forbidden Pool and manages to win without Ramona's help.
Anyway. Onward to the battle!
And a 'Greatest Military Blunders' worthy one it is.
Nevertheless, between bouts of fighting
there is time for a courts martial (because there haven't been enough courts martials to date, no sir!) . Ross insits on doing things 'by the book', but I don't know which book he's talking about, it certainly wasn't this one
so I'm just going to call Brand's demise 'death by plothole'.
Back to the battle. There are lots of explosions and pyrotechnics
and in the end the whole fort gets blown up
(that's why they needed mysterious pyrotechnics guy and his gypsy girl, who are twu luw, btw).
Back in camp Harris is valiantly skirmishing with smarmy git and sends him packing in the end.
So, everyone is happy!
