Forgive me ahead of time if I'm speaking inappropriately or out of place. No doubt I will get in trouble from someone. Its my job as 'good old blunt Salli', I have always been fairly direct and will probably always be that way. I feel somewhat qualified to comment / share my 2c on this topic. As many people in the SCA have numerous ex's, it is a common issue. The love of the SCA itself generally seems to remain strong in those who have experienced it, so it is natural you should wish to go along, at least once in a blue moon. As long as you have a good level of civility with the ex who has remained more active than you in the SCA, and an appropriate amount of time has passed and everyone has moved on with other relationships etc, there should logically be no issue with both people attending an event. Emotionally of course potentially not so much, depending on the circumstances of the break up itself.
Since Candice is an entirely rocking person, whom is highly respected for her many talents and honesty, and I count among my friends (even though only see her a few times a year), she may be fine with the prospect. Maybe try to email her and just mention that you are likely to go along and just wanted to let her know so she wasn't surprised (insert emotion here) or anything. I know I would appreciate the same level of consideration if my one-and-only-bad-breakup ex from the SCA decided to go to an event again one day. Not that I have been terribly active myself in the past few years, but anyway it would be nice. Would be great to see you again anyway if you do make it!!!
But a different train of thought from where my head was going.
But just to clarify- i wouldn't have any issues with Candice being present/not present. And vice versa with Candice and my presence. I was just reflecting on the consequences of past history.
Our trains of thought merge with your sentence: "As many people in the SCA have numerous ex's, it is a common issue. The love of the SCA itself generally seems to remain strong in those who have experienced it" It's a good test case because many people have had breakups (of varying degrees of involvement) and thus there are numerous cases of people whom withdraw from the SCA for a time- it is difficult to be socially involved when you are emotionally distracted. However- as you say- generally people's emotional distraction will abate- and their to be socially involved will return, the social networks restructure and life carries on :)
As many people in the SCA have numerous ex's, it is a common issue. The love of the SCA itself generally seems to remain strong in those who have experienced it, so it is natural you should wish to go along, at least once in a blue moon. As long as you have a good level of civility with the ex who has remained more active than you in the SCA, and an appropriate amount of time has passed and everyone has moved on with other relationships etc, there should logically be no issue with both people attending an event. Emotionally of course potentially not so much, depending on the circumstances of the break up itself.
Since Candice is an entirely rocking person, whom is highly respected for her many talents and honesty, and I count among my friends (even though only see her a few times a year), she may be fine with the prospect. Maybe try to email her and just mention that you are likely to go along and just wanted to let her know so she wasn't surprised (insert emotion here) or anything. I know I would appreciate the same level of consideration if my one-and-only-bad-breakup ex from the SCA decided to go to an event again one day. Not that I have been terribly active myself in the past few years, but anyway it would be nice.
Would be great to see you again anyway if you do make it!!!
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Not inappropriate- or incorrect- comments at all
But a different train of thought from where my head was going.
But just to clarify- i wouldn't have any issues with Candice being present/not present. And vice versa with Candice and my presence.
I was just reflecting on the consequences of past history.
Our trains of thought merge with your sentence:
"As many people in the SCA have numerous ex's, it is a common issue. The love of the SCA itself generally seems to remain strong in those who have experienced it"
It's a good test case because many people have had breakups (of varying degrees of involvement) and thus there are numerous cases of people whom withdraw from the SCA for a time- it is difficult to be socially involved when you are emotionally distracted.
However- as you say- generally people's emotional distraction will abate- and their to be socially involved will return, the social networks restructure and life carries on :)
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