Imitation of Chuck Palahniuk's Fight Club
Every time I see them, they tell me it will be ok.
I have scars, but not the physical kind. My scars are internal, like the ones you really don’t want to talk about.
I don’t want to talk about it.
But I do, I have to, because otherwise they might never heal the right way.
Maybe they aren’t supposed to heal at all.
“We can help you”, they say. “We can help you forget.”
But what if I don’t want to forget, I ask. What if remembering is a part of healing?
You try and forget.
My father pulls me aside at family Christmas and tells me to man up. He knows that because he left three fingers and a toe in Korea, he can tell me these things. Maybe he’s right. I don’t really care. It wasn’t my choice to be born to a manly father. It wasn’t my choice to be born at all.
You ice it over, forget the pain.
I sit there and think that it wouldn’t take much to reverse the choice that my parents made. It would be pretty easy. There are plenty of ways, plenty of means to an end.
An end that I would greet with open arms.
I have scars, but not the physical kind. My scars are internal, like the ones you really don’t want to talk about.
I don’t want to talk about it.
But I do, I have to, because otherwise they might never heal the right way.
Maybe they aren’t supposed to heal at all.
“We can help you”, they say. “We can help you forget.”
But what if I don’t want to forget, I ask. What if remembering is a part of healing?
You try and forget.
My father pulls me aside at family Christmas and tells me to man up. He knows that because he left three fingers and a toe in Korea, he can tell me these things. Maybe he’s right. I don’t really care. It wasn’t my choice to be born to a manly father. It wasn’t my choice to be born at all.
You ice it over, forget the pain.
I sit there and think that it wouldn’t take much to reverse the choice that my parents made. It would be pretty easy. There are plenty of ways, plenty of means to an end.
An end that I would greet with open arms.