In The Closet
Disclaimer: characters do not belong to me, blah blah blah. and don't read this if you are easily offended.
Spoilers: some vague ones for Bloodbath and Narnia.
Pairing: Tibbs
Rating: NC-17 for mentions of spanking and disturbing imaginary. ;)
Tony opened the door and hid in the closet. playing hide and go seek with Gibbs was always fun. theirs was a naughty adults' version which gave it some extra spice. Tony was wearing his collar and leather cuffs on each wrist and ankle, and sporting a silver cock ring. he snickered in the closet.
"Gibbs will never find me in here. it's too obvious. not that i've ever been in here. i wonder..." Tony looked around the dark closet. he was feeling a bit of a chill for some reason, and all these furcoats, what were they doing here? Gibbs didn't wear stuff like that. Tony was starting to get a little freaked out, what if these were his ex wives' coats? and why was it so cold in the closet?
"Tonyyy... i'm going you find youuu... and spank you silly!" Gibbs called from the hallway swooshing his flogger.
Tony giggled in the closet. Gibbs was so not gonna find him. he realized he must have turned around because he could see light coming from behind him. confused Tony turned around and reached through the furcoats, trying to feel the door, getting a handful of freezing air instead! what was going on?
"Gibbs, i know you're a cheap bastard but i don't remember our house being this cold..." Tony said pushing through the coats, he was starting to get worried Gibbs would be cold. something must have happened to the heating system, he rationalized. but instead of landing inside he stepped into snow.
"what the... how did i end up here? Jethro, there's a hole in the wall!" Tony shouted back into the closet all the while turning into a Tonypopsicle. then he realized he had been on the second floor. and he didn't remember there being a weird street lamp in the backyard. in fact, the neighbourhood was gone.
while Tony mused, Gibbs had heard his cries and realized he had gone into the closet.
"Tony! baby, come here." Gibbs called out to Tony and covered him with a furcoat.
"what's going on here, Jet?" Tony asked chattering his teeth.
"i bought the Original Narnia Wardrobe. or actually Shannon did, for Kelly's birthday. she got it at some flea-market. i kinda forgot i had it." Gibbs explained a little misty-eyed.
"you had a portal to a Wintry Wonderland Dimension and you never told me???" Tony was a little irked.
"i'm sorry, i should have realized you'd love it. it's from a TV show after all. Kelly used to watch Narnia."
"so did i! Jet, don't you get what this means exactly???" Tony jumped up and down in the snow, his bare feet forgotten.
"what? that if you get Magnum's Ferrari you'll turn into Tom Selleck?" Gibbs laughed.
"um. really?"
"no, i was making that up." Gibbs rolled his eyes.
"it is an idea though..."
"Tony, i do not want to be married to Tom Selleck! and get inside, your feet are freezing. i don't want you to get pneumonia."
"um, lets go get some clothes and... this portal will stay open?" Tony was a little worried the doorway might be fickle like on the TV show.
"yes, the portal will be here. come on. you're practically naked. and i was gonna spank you."
"oh yeah! um, are you sure the portal will stay open?" Tony asked even as he followed Gibbs into the closet. he was really craving a spanking but this Narnia business was a life-long dream, then again Gibbs spanking him was even more of a life-long dream. it was no contest, Gibbs beat even turning into Magnum P.I. fuck Narnia! Tony sprinted into the bedroom and hopped on the bed. Gibbs chuckled and wrapped himself around Tony.
"lets get your warmed up and then we can go have tea with the nice Mr. Tumnus."
~*~
after a warm bath with Gibbs and some warming up his butt-cheeks, Tony was fast asleep in Gibbs' arms, a smile on his face, Narnias forgotten.
something roused him from his slumber though, and he opened his eyes. 00:00 the clock beamed in red.
"huh. what's going on?" Tony wondered groggily as he did inventory. he was wrapped in hairy strong arms, his lovers' arms. he smiled. his ass was sore. he smiled some more. then he saw the wardrobe. but that was a dream. wasn't it?
"no, it wasn't a dream." the hairy arms reassured him and held him tight.
"are we going to have tea with Mr. Tumnus now?" Tony mumbled unable to keep his eyes open.
"no, babe. i think Mr. Tumnus is asleep. although time travels differently over there. but you need your beauty sleep." Gibbs said and kissed Tony's hair to punctuate his point.
"i'm up, really." Tony tried to scramble up but Gibbs held him tight.
"you are not going anywhere, mister. i know how you get when you haven't gotten enough sleep. we'll see Mr. Tumnus and the others tomorrow. i promise. sleep."
"alright, alright." Tony conceded and fell asleep. he figured he would dream of Mr. Tumnus. he wondered if Ducky ever had tea with Mr. Tumnus. they were both british and liked tea, he wondered if they both liked Twinings better than Lipton's. or was it Lipton's Ducky liked? Picard always drank Earl Grey. to him tea was tea but Ducky was the tea expert. although Ducky didn't like mustaches... wait, why was he thinking of mustaches? then Sandman with a mustache appeared and took Tony to Hawaii in a red Ferrari.
~*~
11:00 beamed the clock. Tony woke up with a jolt.
"Magnum!"
Gibbs opened his eye and squinted at the harsh morning light.
"you better not be cheating on me in your dreams."
"what? no, i... huh?" Tony rubbed sleeping sand out of his eyes.
"you were calling out for Magnum. have a nice dream?"
"something about mustaches. and tea. and you had hairy pants."
"well, we better go see Mr. Tumnus before the portal closes."
"what? the portal... you liar! you said it would stay open, Jet." Tony flumped Gibbs with a pillow and then burst into peals of laughter.
"what's so funny?" Gibbs smiled.
"we have our own portal! lets go, babe." Tony dragged Gibbs to his feet in a hurry.
"alright. alright. hold your centaurs."
"Mr. Tumnus is a Satyr."
"right, i knew that." Gibbs grinned and smacked Tony on the ass.
~*~
Tony had put on all his winter clothes and then some, and a fur coat, Gibbs insisted. they walked hand in hand in the snow.
"this is beautiful." Tony ogled at the diamond-donning winter landscape. the air was crisp and he breathed it in.
"careful. keep your nose inside your bundelage to keep your lungs."
"yes, dad." Tony grumbled.
*smack* Gibbs head-slapped Tony.
"sorry, Jethro." Tony grinned into the fur.
up ahead they saw a house. steam billowing out in small tufts from the chimney.
"he's home! hooray!" Tony took off like Forest Gump.
"hey! wait for me!"
Tony made it to the front door and knocked. he jumped up and down like a puppy.
"yes?" the door opened.
"Mr. Tumnus! i'm a fan. i always wanted to try your furpants."
"Mr. Tumnus!" Jethro jogged up to them.
"Mr. Gibbs. how long has it been?" Mr. Tumnus felt relieved now that he saw a familiar face who didn't babble about possibly skinning him alive. the White Witch had already tried to do that when she had a craving for dalmations. which happened about every year, at the same time she died her hair black and white. but that was in the past.
"don't mind, Tony, he... he just has heard stories of Narnia."
"yeah, uh, yeah. i wasn't gonna steal your pants or anything." Tony scratched his head and gifted Mr. Tumnus with a shy smile. even shy Tony had the megawatt level sky-high and Mr. Tumnus couldn't help but react. yes, exactly. react. grateful that noone was looking down, he coughed and tried to get his head back on straight.
"oh, Tony. nice to meet you. care for some tea?" Mr. Tumnus blustered. they shook hands and Tony and Gibbs stepped inside and took in the small cabin. it was like on TV except not so fuzzy. what was it with those old TV shows? the quality was really dubious, Tony thought.
"we'd love some tea, you have any of that Lipton stuff?" Tony questioned earnestly.
"oh, sure. of course we have Lipton's. none of that awful Twinings stuff." Mr. Tumnus puttered about as Tony and Gibbs shrugged off their gear and sat in front of the fire.
"babe, you warm enough?" Gibbs asked with his usual but deep concern. Tony loved Gibbs' fussing.
"yeah, i'm warm." Tony beamed.
"good."
"here's your tea, it's orange and cinnamon. you lads look like you need something to take the edge off." Mr. Tumnus said with a hint of mischief.
"uh, thank you. Mr. Tumnus, isn't it morning here?" Tony didn't like morning drinking. his dad had always started the day with a stiff drink. and then the drinks got stiffer. by night he was so... Tony, focus.
"we just woke up, Mr. Tumnus. but thank you, anyway." Gibbs dredged up his polite southern upbringing.
"more for me." Mr. Tumnus poured himself a drink and downed it in one go, then a smile spread on his face and his cheeks flushed.
they sat and had tea, Gibbs telling Mr. Tumnus that Shannon and Kelly wouldn't be dropping by anymore, and that he was with Tony now, who would be dropping by...possibly. the way Mr. Tumnus kept leering at Tony, Gibbs didn't think he should let Tony near the furry-bottomed bastard.
Tony himself grew more uncomfortable. he hadn't meant anything by his furry pants comment. but by the looks of it Mr. Tumnus had taken some horrible liberties with interpretation. he kept stroking the front of his furpants kind of absently.
"i think we should go now, it was nice seeing you once again, Mr. Tumnus." Gibbs stood and tried to contain his possessive urge to deck Mr. Tumnus for getting drool on his Tony.
"yeah, um, it was a... pleasure." Tony scratched the back of his head.
"oh, you mustn't go, it's still light. i had some Turkish Delights i wanted to share with you."
"another time. we should get to work." Gibbs bundled up Tony back in his coats and led him outside.
a more than few bunny's hops away Tony let out a breath he'd been holding.
"boy! who knew Mr. Tumnus was such a perv? you let Kelly play with that creep?" Tony shook his head as they were walking.
"i don't think he was that pervy, you just bring it out in people." Gibbs smirked, but his eyes dark with concern.
"i'm sure you're right. still, creepy. i did NOT want in his furpants even if i said i did. i just meant..."
*smack*
"thanks, Boss."
"thought you needed it." Gibbs grinned more cheerfully.
~*~
back at home Tony shucked out of his bundelage and crawled into bed. shower could wait, even though he did feel kind of dirty. so much for his innocent memories of Narnia. he didn't even wanna meet the Lion and the Witch now, who knows what kinds of hinky shit they did on their days off.
"Tony, i'll run a bath." Gibbs kissed the top of Tony's head and took no nos for answer. Tony had to get warm. and clean. he wanted to wash off Mr. Tumnus' eyeball slime. no it wasn't insane to think like that. no it wasn't insane he now wanted to burn the closet down.
"babe, you ok? i won't go back if you don't want me to." Tony said sweetly. he really meant it too. he had no intention of going back to that house. but he was still curious about the kids and what had happened to them.
"is that what you want, Tony? to be honest, i want to take a hacksaw to that closet, and arrest Mr. Tumnus."
Tony laughed.
"what?"
"arrest Mr. Tumnus. i'm sure Vance would love that. you bringing in a beloved character from a beloved children's book and tell him the guy, who, isn't Navy, was undressing me with his eyes!"
Tony laughed so hard he fell off the bed and rolled around on the floor. Gibbs just stood there and stared, and then he joined in, dropping to his knees holding his stomach.
"and then, Vance will ask me why i care what you do with a furry bastard from Narnia, and we'll have to inform him we're married and never told him!"
"and i think he'll be more shocked by our marriage, considering our reputations!"
Tony and Gibbs rolled around gasping, but then Tony started coughing and Gibbs took him to the bathroom.
"ok, lets get you clean. and warm." they both got in and let out a contented sigh. Tony rubbed his back against Gibbs' chest.
"i don't need the wardrobe. maybe we could give it to Abby or her nutjob ex boyfriend, i'm sure Mr. T would love that."
"good idea, babe. and if you ever see the Original Magnum P.I. Ferrari for sale... even if it's for pennies. do NOT buy it." Gibbs tapped Tony on the head.
"yes, Boss. no, Boss." Tony smiled and leaned into Gibbs' caresses. he didn't need mustaches or Ferraris, neither did Gibbs. that furry worm Gibbs had sported had been enough and he really loved his Mustang, and the Charger. maybe if he got to drive it he'd turn into Gibbs... with a mustache... maybe Gibbs would turn into Tony if he drove his Mustang... kinda hot...
Tony drifted off in Gibbs' hairy arms and Gibbs smiled to himself. tomorrow Mikel Mawher would get a brand new closet.
Spoilers: some vague ones for Bloodbath and Narnia.
Pairing: Tibbs
Rating: NC-17 for mentions of spanking and disturbing imaginary. ;)
Tony opened the door and hid in the closet. playing hide and go seek with Gibbs was always fun. theirs was a naughty adults' version which gave it some extra spice. Tony was wearing his collar and leather cuffs on each wrist and ankle, and sporting a silver cock ring. he snickered in the closet.
"Gibbs will never find me in here. it's too obvious. not that i've ever been in here. i wonder..." Tony looked around the dark closet. he was feeling a bit of a chill for some reason, and all these furcoats, what were they doing here? Gibbs didn't wear stuff like that. Tony was starting to get a little freaked out, what if these were his ex wives' coats? and why was it so cold in the closet?
"Tonyyy... i'm going you find youuu... and spank you silly!" Gibbs called from the hallway swooshing his flogger.
Tony giggled in the closet. Gibbs was so not gonna find him. he realized he must have turned around because he could see light coming from behind him. confused Tony turned around and reached through the furcoats, trying to feel the door, getting a handful of freezing air instead! what was going on?
"Gibbs, i know you're a cheap bastard but i don't remember our house being this cold..." Tony said pushing through the coats, he was starting to get worried Gibbs would be cold. something must have happened to the heating system, he rationalized. but instead of landing inside he stepped into snow.
"what the... how did i end up here? Jethro, there's a hole in the wall!" Tony shouted back into the closet all the while turning into a Tonypopsicle. then he realized he had been on the second floor. and he didn't remember there being a weird street lamp in the backyard. in fact, the neighbourhood was gone.
while Tony mused, Gibbs had heard his cries and realized he had gone into the closet.
"Tony! baby, come here." Gibbs called out to Tony and covered him with a furcoat.
"what's going on here, Jet?" Tony asked chattering his teeth.
"i bought the Original Narnia Wardrobe. or actually Shannon did, for Kelly's birthday. she got it at some flea-market. i kinda forgot i had it." Gibbs explained a little misty-eyed.
"you had a portal to a Wintry Wonderland Dimension and you never told me???" Tony was a little irked.
"i'm sorry, i should have realized you'd love it. it's from a TV show after all. Kelly used to watch Narnia."
"so did i! Jet, don't you get what this means exactly???" Tony jumped up and down in the snow, his bare feet forgotten.
"what? that if you get Magnum's Ferrari you'll turn into Tom Selleck?" Gibbs laughed.
"um. really?"
"no, i was making that up." Gibbs rolled his eyes.
"it is an idea though..."
"Tony, i do not want to be married to Tom Selleck! and get inside, your feet are freezing. i don't want you to get pneumonia."
"um, lets go get some clothes and... this portal will stay open?" Tony was a little worried the doorway might be fickle like on the TV show.
"yes, the portal will be here. come on. you're practically naked. and i was gonna spank you."
"oh yeah! um, are you sure the portal will stay open?" Tony asked even as he followed Gibbs into the closet. he was really craving a spanking but this Narnia business was a life-long dream, then again Gibbs spanking him was even more of a life-long dream. it was no contest, Gibbs beat even turning into Magnum P.I. fuck Narnia! Tony sprinted into the bedroom and hopped on the bed. Gibbs chuckled and wrapped himself around Tony.
"lets get your warmed up and then we can go have tea with the nice Mr. Tumnus."
~*~
after a warm bath with Gibbs and some warming up his butt-cheeks, Tony was fast asleep in Gibbs' arms, a smile on his face, Narnias forgotten.
something roused him from his slumber though, and he opened his eyes. 00:00 the clock beamed in red.
"huh. what's going on?" Tony wondered groggily as he did inventory. he was wrapped in hairy strong arms, his lovers' arms. he smiled. his ass was sore. he smiled some more. then he saw the wardrobe. but that was a dream. wasn't it?
"no, it wasn't a dream." the hairy arms reassured him and held him tight.
"are we going to have tea with Mr. Tumnus now?" Tony mumbled unable to keep his eyes open.
"no, babe. i think Mr. Tumnus is asleep. although time travels differently over there. but you need your beauty sleep." Gibbs said and kissed Tony's hair to punctuate his point.
"i'm up, really." Tony tried to scramble up but Gibbs held him tight.
"you are not going anywhere, mister. i know how you get when you haven't gotten enough sleep. we'll see Mr. Tumnus and the others tomorrow. i promise. sleep."
"alright, alright." Tony conceded and fell asleep. he figured he would dream of Mr. Tumnus. he wondered if Ducky ever had tea with Mr. Tumnus. they were both british and liked tea, he wondered if they both liked Twinings better than Lipton's. or was it Lipton's Ducky liked? Picard always drank Earl Grey. to him tea was tea but Ducky was the tea expert. although Ducky didn't like mustaches... wait, why was he thinking of mustaches? then Sandman with a mustache appeared and took Tony to Hawaii in a red Ferrari.
~*~
11:00 beamed the clock. Tony woke up with a jolt.
"Magnum!"
Gibbs opened his eye and squinted at the harsh morning light.
"you better not be cheating on me in your dreams."
"what? no, i... huh?" Tony rubbed sleeping sand out of his eyes.
"you were calling out for Magnum. have a nice dream?"
"something about mustaches. and tea. and you had hairy pants."
"well, we better go see Mr. Tumnus before the portal closes."
"what? the portal... you liar! you said it would stay open, Jet." Tony flumped Gibbs with a pillow and then burst into peals of laughter.
"what's so funny?" Gibbs smiled.
"we have our own portal! lets go, babe." Tony dragged Gibbs to his feet in a hurry.
"alright. alright. hold your centaurs."
"Mr. Tumnus is a Satyr."
"right, i knew that." Gibbs grinned and smacked Tony on the ass.
~*~
Tony had put on all his winter clothes and then some, and a fur coat, Gibbs insisted. they walked hand in hand in the snow.
"this is beautiful." Tony ogled at the diamond-donning winter landscape. the air was crisp and he breathed it in.
"careful. keep your nose inside your bundelage to keep your lungs."
"yes, dad." Tony grumbled.
*smack* Gibbs head-slapped Tony.
"sorry, Jethro." Tony grinned into the fur.
up ahead they saw a house. steam billowing out in small tufts from the chimney.
"he's home! hooray!" Tony took off like Forest Gump.
"hey! wait for me!"
Tony made it to the front door and knocked. he jumped up and down like a puppy.
"yes?" the door opened.
"Mr. Tumnus! i'm a fan. i always wanted to try your furpants."
"Mr. Tumnus!" Jethro jogged up to them.
"Mr. Gibbs. how long has it been?" Mr. Tumnus felt relieved now that he saw a familiar face who didn't babble about possibly skinning him alive. the White Witch had already tried to do that when she had a craving for dalmations. which happened about every year, at the same time she died her hair black and white. but that was in the past.
"don't mind, Tony, he... he just has heard stories of Narnia."
"yeah, uh, yeah. i wasn't gonna steal your pants or anything." Tony scratched his head and gifted Mr. Tumnus with a shy smile. even shy Tony had the megawatt level sky-high and Mr. Tumnus couldn't help but react. yes, exactly. react. grateful that noone was looking down, he coughed and tried to get his head back on straight.
"oh, Tony. nice to meet you. care for some tea?" Mr. Tumnus blustered. they shook hands and Tony and Gibbs stepped inside and took in the small cabin. it was like on TV except not so fuzzy. what was it with those old TV shows? the quality was really dubious, Tony thought.
"we'd love some tea, you have any of that Lipton stuff?" Tony questioned earnestly.
"oh, sure. of course we have Lipton's. none of that awful Twinings stuff." Mr. Tumnus puttered about as Tony and Gibbs shrugged off their gear and sat in front of the fire.
"babe, you warm enough?" Gibbs asked with his usual but deep concern. Tony loved Gibbs' fussing.
"yeah, i'm warm." Tony beamed.
"good."
"here's your tea, it's orange and cinnamon. you lads look like you need something to take the edge off." Mr. Tumnus said with a hint of mischief.
"uh, thank you. Mr. Tumnus, isn't it morning here?" Tony didn't like morning drinking. his dad had always started the day with a stiff drink. and then the drinks got stiffer. by night he was so... Tony, focus.
"we just woke up, Mr. Tumnus. but thank you, anyway." Gibbs dredged up his polite southern upbringing.
"more for me." Mr. Tumnus poured himself a drink and downed it in one go, then a smile spread on his face and his cheeks flushed.
they sat and had tea, Gibbs telling Mr. Tumnus that Shannon and Kelly wouldn't be dropping by anymore, and that he was with Tony now, who would be dropping by...possibly. the way Mr. Tumnus kept leering at Tony, Gibbs didn't think he should let Tony near the furry-bottomed bastard.
Tony himself grew more uncomfortable. he hadn't meant anything by his furry pants comment. but by the looks of it Mr. Tumnus had taken some horrible liberties with interpretation. he kept stroking the front of his furpants kind of absently.
"i think we should go now, it was nice seeing you once again, Mr. Tumnus." Gibbs stood and tried to contain his possessive urge to deck Mr. Tumnus for getting drool on his Tony.
"yeah, um, it was a... pleasure." Tony scratched the back of his head.
"oh, you mustn't go, it's still light. i had some Turkish Delights i wanted to share with you."
"another time. we should get to work." Gibbs bundled up Tony back in his coats and led him outside.
a more than few bunny's hops away Tony let out a breath he'd been holding.
"boy! who knew Mr. Tumnus was such a perv? you let Kelly play with that creep?" Tony shook his head as they were walking.
"i don't think he was that pervy, you just bring it out in people." Gibbs smirked, but his eyes dark with concern.
"i'm sure you're right. still, creepy. i did NOT want in his furpants even if i said i did. i just meant..."
*smack*
"thanks, Boss."
"thought you needed it." Gibbs grinned more cheerfully.
~*~
back at home Tony shucked out of his bundelage and crawled into bed. shower could wait, even though he did feel kind of dirty. so much for his innocent memories of Narnia. he didn't even wanna meet the Lion and the Witch now, who knows what kinds of hinky shit they did on their days off.
"Tony, i'll run a bath." Gibbs kissed the top of Tony's head and took no nos for answer. Tony had to get warm. and clean. he wanted to wash off Mr. Tumnus' eyeball slime. no it wasn't insane to think like that. no it wasn't insane he now wanted to burn the closet down.
"babe, you ok? i won't go back if you don't want me to." Tony said sweetly. he really meant it too. he had no intention of going back to that house. but he was still curious about the kids and what had happened to them.
"is that what you want, Tony? to be honest, i want to take a hacksaw to that closet, and arrest Mr. Tumnus."
Tony laughed.
"what?"
"arrest Mr. Tumnus. i'm sure Vance would love that. you bringing in a beloved character from a beloved children's book and tell him the guy, who, isn't Navy, was undressing me with his eyes!"
Tony laughed so hard he fell off the bed and rolled around on the floor. Gibbs just stood there and stared, and then he joined in, dropping to his knees holding his stomach.
"and then, Vance will ask me why i care what you do with a furry bastard from Narnia, and we'll have to inform him we're married and never told him!"
"and i think he'll be more shocked by our marriage, considering our reputations!"
Tony and Gibbs rolled around gasping, but then Tony started coughing and Gibbs took him to the bathroom.
"ok, lets get you clean. and warm." they both got in and let out a contented sigh. Tony rubbed his back against Gibbs' chest.
"i don't need the wardrobe. maybe we could give it to Abby or her nutjob ex boyfriend, i'm sure Mr. T would love that."
"good idea, babe. and if you ever see the Original Magnum P.I. Ferrari for sale... even if it's for pennies. do NOT buy it." Gibbs tapped Tony on the head.
"yes, Boss. no, Boss." Tony smiled and leaned into Gibbs' caresses. he didn't need mustaches or Ferraris, neither did Gibbs. that furry worm Gibbs had sported had been enough and he really loved his Mustang, and the Charger. maybe if he got to drive it he'd turn into Gibbs... with a mustache... maybe Gibbs would turn into Tony if he drove his Mustang... kinda hot...
Tony drifted off in Gibbs' hairy arms and Gibbs smiled to himself. tomorrow Mikel Mawher would get a brand new closet.