think what you want but don't fucking judge me
question: would you rather be ugly or stupid? explain.
and some thoughts.
-i hate that ugly and stupid guys (well not necessarily ugly, but just guys not in the same league) can hurt, ignore, abuse, cheat on, lie to, and reject pretty, intelligent girls.
-i hate that i can bend over backwards being nice to some people, and they STILL give me bad vibes for some reason, or make me feel like somehow i just said something wrong.
-i hate being looked down upon or condescended for ANY reason. i hate when people look down on me for the way i dress, for who i hang out with, and for what i say. maybe sometimes i say things that sound petty, materialistic, conceited, or too graphic, but you know what? a lot of people think the same things too, but are afraid of how they look for saying it. maybe they're afraid to look vain, shallow, or "conformist" .......well vanity and shallow-ness (if that's even a word) are all negative yet completely natural human qualities that everyone has to some degree. and as for conformity? there's no such thing as original anymore. maybe you're different than people around you, but somewhere else, there's a million people just like you.
-i hate the stupid ways people fish for compliments sometimes.....i know we all do it from time to time and that's ok, but i hate when people do it in a way that makes everyone else uncomfortable
-i hate when i ask someone something and they'll answer, but they won't, at the very least, even feign interest in my life by asking me the same question back after responding.
-i hate having to be passive-aggressive to get my point across, and i hate having to deal with passive-aggressive people.
-i hate that attachment, looking desperate, looking vulnerable, and being rejected are my biggest fears, and that these fears are reaffirmed EVERY SINGLE TIME i try to face them/change them, confirming simply that i should in fact be afraid of them.
-i hate that i don't feel THAT needed in LA anymore, because even though i know there are people who miss me and would love to see me, i know also that they have other support systems that get the job done just fine. i felt terrible writing that just now and i realize that i sound like some whiny bitch being all like "they don't need me! i'm so taken for granted!" but what i really mean is that if i ever felt jealous that i wasn't the only one who could take care of something for someone, and that there were other people who could do the same thing or better, it's magnified by 938592038543 now.
i had no idea i had THAT much to say. but i feel a lot better now.
and some thoughts.
-i hate that ugly and stupid guys (well not necessarily ugly, but just guys not in the same league) can hurt, ignore, abuse, cheat on, lie to, and reject pretty, intelligent girls.
-i hate that i can bend over backwards being nice to some people, and they STILL give me bad vibes for some reason, or make me feel like somehow i just said something wrong.
-i hate being looked down upon or condescended for ANY reason. i hate when people look down on me for the way i dress, for who i hang out with, and for what i say. maybe sometimes i say things that sound petty, materialistic, conceited, or too graphic, but you know what? a lot of people think the same things too, but are afraid of how they look for saying it. maybe they're afraid to look vain, shallow, or "conformist" .......well vanity and shallow-ness (if that's even a word) are all negative yet completely natural human qualities that everyone has to some degree. and as for conformity? there's no such thing as original anymore. maybe you're different than people around you, but somewhere else, there's a million people just like you.
-i hate the stupid ways people fish for compliments sometimes.....i know we all do it from time to time and that's ok, but i hate when people do it in a way that makes everyone else uncomfortable
-i hate when i ask someone something and they'll answer, but they won't, at the very least, even feign interest in my life by asking me the same question back after responding.
-i hate having to be passive-aggressive to get my point across, and i hate having to deal with passive-aggressive people.
-i hate that attachment, looking desperate, looking vulnerable, and being rejected are my biggest fears, and that these fears are reaffirmed EVERY SINGLE TIME i try to face them/change them, confirming simply that i should in fact be afraid of them.
-i hate that i don't feel THAT needed in LA anymore, because even though i know there are people who miss me and would love to see me, i know also that they have other support systems that get the job done just fine. i felt terrible writing that just now and i realize that i sound like some whiny bitch being all like "they don't need me! i'm so taken for granted!" but what i really mean is that if i ever felt jealous that i wasn't the only one who could take care of something for someone, and that there were other people who could do the same thing or better, it's magnified by 938592038543 now.
i had no idea i had THAT much to say. but i feel a lot better now.