Journal Entry
Dinner didn't go so well.
Who the hell am I kidding? Dinner was bloody awful. I could tell Lavender and Parvati were trying not to cry and Christ but I hate when they cry, makes me feel bloody fucking useless. That I was the cause of it didn't much help either.
Harry, Jesus, Harry looked like he was about to either cry or kill someone. I'm not sure which I prefer for him but I did my best to tell him it wasn't his fault. It wasn't. I should have been more careful with my belongings, Malfoy's right about that. I know better than to leave things about where anyone can get into them. Learned that lesson how many years ago now?
Neville? I've never seen him that quiet and withdrawn. He didn't say much of anything, just sat off by himself and then walked out without saying a word.
Dean, though. I don't know. I… he went quiet and then everytime he looked at me, I could see the accusation in his eyes, like I'd planned this, that I was doing it to him personally.
Have to go where there's employment, now don't I? I didn't choose this, no matter what I said to anyone there. Not my idea to move on.
It's not like this is my first time, either. They all know that I come back eventually. Can't bloody well be without him them for long. I always come back and I doubt this time will be any different.
Germany isn't that far off, a lot closer than when I lived in bloody fucking Australia or in the States.
The worst part is that I'm stuck with all this food because no one really ate once I broke the news. Angels bless him but, Ron, there's a good mate. Ron didn't much let it phase him.
Thank whatever that's holy for Hermione as well. She was so steady and took it in her stride. She laughed and teased me and it seemed to brighten while it lasted.
I didn't tell them but I'm not sure how much longer I'd have stayed anyway. Maybe Malfoy did me a favour firing me like that. It…I… how much longer did they expect me to stay, anyway? How much longer did they expect me to be alright with him there and so near everything and not do something insanely stupid?
I lied. The worst was and is that accusing look, that one that said betrayal when all I could think was Tá mé chomh mór sin i ngrá leat.
Gabh mo leithscéal.
[OOC:Translations:
Tá mé chomh mór sin i ngrá leat: Irish for I am so in love with you.
Gabh mo leithscéal: Irish for I am sorry.]
Who the hell am I kidding? Dinner was bloody awful. I could tell Lavender and Parvati were trying not to cry and Christ but I hate when they cry, makes me feel bloody fucking useless. That I was the cause of it didn't much help either.
Harry, Jesus, Harry looked like he was about to either cry or kill someone. I'm not sure which I prefer for him but I did my best to tell him it wasn't his fault. It wasn't. I should have been more careful with my belongings, Malfoy's right about that. I know better than to leave things about where anyone can get into them. Learned that lesson how many years ago now?
Neville? I've never seen him that quiet and withdrawn. He didn't say much of anything, just sat off by himself and then walked out without saying a word.
Dean, though. I don't know. I… he went quiet and then everytime he looked at me, I could see the accusation in his eyes, like I'd planned this, that I was doing it to him personally.
Have to go where there's employment, now don't I? I didn't choose this, no matter what I said to anyone there. Not my idea to move on.
It's not like this is my first time, either. They all know that I come back eventually. Can't bloody well be without him them for long. I always come back and I doubt this time will be any different.
Germany isn't that far off, a lot closer than when I lived in bloody fucking Australia or in the States.
The worst part is that I'm stuck with all this food because no one really ate once I broke the news. Angels bless him but, Ron, there's a good mate. Ron didn't much let it phase him.
Thank whatever that's holy for Hermione as well. She was so steady and took it in her stride. She laughed and teased me and it seemed to brighten while it lasted.
I didn't tell them but I'm not sure how much longer I'd have stayed anyway. Maybe Malfoy did me a favour firing me like that. It…I… how much longer did they expect me to stay, anyway? How much longer did they expect me to be alright with him there and so near everything and not do something insanely stupid?
I lied. The worst was and is that accusing look, that one that said betrayal when all I could think was Tá mé chomh mór sin i ngrá leat.
Gabh mo leithscéal.
[OOC:Translations:
Tá mé chomh mór sin i ngrá leat: Irish for I am so in love with you.
Gabh mo leithscéal: Irish for I am sorry.]