Old time no write
Everytime I write in here I always start my post out with how long it's been since I'v wrote on here, probably because I never write in here. Ha
I hope no one actually reads my journals, because their dumb and lame and i would prefer people not to but I'm puting them online so whatever.
So this last summer and the begining of this school year were the best I'v ever had. I thought i was pretty and skinny and just the way i wanted to be. Plus i had a ton of new friends.
Well since Christmas i gained 20 pounds and i feel like shit about myself all the time. I know that sounds obserd because I'm a skinny girl, and i know i am but I'm not happy like this, i feel like i look completely diffrent, my face is all round and chubby looking now and NONE of my jeans fit me not a single one. they wont even button. and i cant wear any of my shirts either because their all super tight because i WAS proud of my super flat stomach. and if thats not bad enough, because none of my clothes fit me i wear sweatpants and baggy t-shirts all the time and I'v given up on make-up because i feel like nothing will make me look pretty. so i basically just look like a sluggish pig all the time. I wouldn't even care at all but it's affecting me in ways that i never want to go out anymore because i never want people to see me, and when i do go out i dont have half as much fun as i used to because I'm so self conciouse. so i havent been hanging out with friends as much so i feel like I'm losing all the new friends i just made. which is horrible!
i just want to lose 5 pounds so i can fit into my pants w/o massive muffin tops and feel pretty again!
plus its horrible!
my friend jessi spent the night over here a few weeks ago and her clothes are a little bigger and she left them so I'v been getting by one those because her jeans actaully fit me and their comfterble. and shes comming to get them today! haha but oh well their HERS.
ew I sound like such a whiny pathetic unhappy person from this.
I'm not I'm actually a really happy person but it just helps to write about that
because most people will just roll their eyes in disgust if i tell them about it.
<33
I hope no one actually reads my journals, because their dumb and lame and i would prefer people not to but I'm puting them online so whatever.
So this last summer and the begining of this school year were the best I'v ever had. I thought i was pretty and skinny and just the way i wanted to be. Plus i had a ton of new friends.
Well since Christmas i gained 20 pounds and i feel like shit about myself all the time. I know that sounds obserd because I'm a skinny girl, and i know i am but I'm not happy like this, i feel like i look completely diffrent, my face is all round and chubby looking now and NONE of my jeans fit me not a single one. they wont even button. and i cant wear any of my shirts either because their all super tight because i WAS proud of my super flat stomach. and if thats not bad enough, because none of my clothes fit me i wear sweatpants and baggy t-shirts all the time and I'v given up on make-up because i feel like nothing will make me look pretty. so i basically just look like a sluggish pig all the time. I wouldn't even care at all but it's affecting me in ways that i never want to go out anymore because i never want people to see me, and when i do go out i dont have half as much fun as i used to because I'm so self conciouse. so i havent been hanging out with friends as much so i feel like I'm losing all the new friends i just made. which is horrible!
i just want to lose 5 pounds so i can fit into my pants w/o massive muffin tops and feel pretty again!
plus its horrible!
my friend jessi spent the night over here a few weeks ago and her clothes are a little bigger and she left them so I'v been getting by one those because her jeans actaully fit me and their comfterble. and shes comming to get them today! haha but oh well their HERS.
ew I sound like such a whiny pathetic unhappy person from this.
I'm not I'm actually a really happy person but it just helps to write about that
because most people will just roll their eyes in disgust if i tell them about it.
<33