apparently I am feeling productive
The Key to the Greatest Treasure In All the Land
J2, NC-17, rimming, fisting, 1700 words. THIS IS THE FIC ABOUT HOW JENSEN IS A TOTAL SIZE QUEEN AND JARED'S DICK IS NOT ACTUALLY VERY IMPRESSIVE
I missed non-AU guys :(d
Jensen loves dick.
Various friends of his throughout the years have made fun of him about this, mostly about how he looks like he's begging for it, or relating to his lips, or any of a billion photoshoots involving him looking like the twinkiest thing in the world. One time while he was on Smallville, Rosenbaum made a power point comparing his cowboy pictures to the actual Twinkies mascot which, apparently, wears a cowboy hat. And maybe spurs.
Jensen hates Rosenbaum.
Anyway, Jensen actually pretty much is a cockslut. He's not ashamed of it. As far as he's concerned, there's nothing wrong with liking dick. Dick is awesome.
And then he meets Jared.
The thing is, Jensen doesn't meet a lot of people who are significantly larger than him. Tom is, but Tom is married and straight, and Jensen has the sneaking suspicion that Mike would disembowel him if he ever tried anything, so he never has.
But Jared is fucking huge, and even if he has a girlfriend, there's nothing wrong with Jensen having technicolor fantasies of Jared pushing him down and making him choke on his fucking giant dick.
So that's awesome.
When Jared breaks up with Sandy and starts giving Jensen these long, hopeful, puppy-dog looks, Jensen thinks he actually has a chance. And, after three years, he's not just really interested in Jared's dick, he's pretty much head-over-heels fucking gone for him, so it's like every good thing ever when Jared finally says, "Hey, um. Look. I know you--dinner? I mean, a date dinner. With me."
"You asking me out?" Jensen asks with a slow smirk, and something in his face must make Jared realize he's going to say yes, because Jared just says, "Yeah," way more confident than he was a second ago.
So they go out to dinner and shoot the shit, flirt and laugh like they always have, and Jensen is half-hard the whole time, thinking about finally, finally getting his mouth on Jared's dick, finally getting that thing in his ass.
Yeah, it's kind of tough making it through the meal and acting like a normal person.
They're going back to the same house, and Jensen only then realizes that Jared is laboring under the misconception that they are not going to fuck tonight. He walks Jensen to the door and laughs, adorably, when Jensen raises his eyebrows.
"I had a really good time," he says. "Is that corny?"
"Jared, we both live here. You're going in this door too. This is--really unnecessary."
"Yeah, well," says Jared. "I figure I'm going to my room and you're going to--"
"Jared," he says very carefully. "We've been flirting for, like, four years. I am absolutely a sure thing here."
Jared swallows, his throat working in the porch-light. "Oh. Um. Really?"
Jensen unlocks the door, pulls Jared inside, pushes him up against the wall, and kisses him.
Jared makes this helpless whimpering noise, like he's been waiting for this too, and that's Jared's tongue in his mouth, and, fuck, yes.
"So I'm going to your room," Jensen pants.
"Yeah," Jared manages. "Okay."
They make out all the way up the stairs, and when they get into Jared's room, Jared pushes him down on the bed and dominates him a little, which, hell yes. Jensen doesn't generally say "I like being roughed up a little" on the first date, but he's pretty sure that they're going to get there, and he and Jared click so hard everywhere else, maybe Jared just knows what he likes.
Jensen fumbles with Jared's buttons, gets his shirt off, and then his undershirt, and Jared does the same, stripping him down. But that's not what Jensen's really excited for, and he pops the button on Jared's jeans and pushes his pants and boxers down in one smooth movement.
And then he just stops.
Because--Jared isn't proportional. Jared's dick is, well, it's fine, but it's not exactly what Jensen had in mind. And compared to the rest of Jared--jacked, huge, Sasquatch Jared--it looks tiny, even though it's probably a little bigger than the average dick.
And Jensen, well, he's horny and high on getting Jared after all these years, and he does the absolute wrong thing and laughs.
He laughs for a while, kind of hysterically, because--it's fucking hilarious, a cosmic joke, that this guy that Jensen loves now, who he started being interested in the first place because of his theoretical dick, is not actually hung.
When Jensen recovers, he sees Jared, looking mostly kind of wistful, but not exactly hurt.
"Yeah," he says, shaking his head. "I know. It's not exactly what you were expecting."
"It's just--I still--Jesus, I'm sorry."
"I usually wait until the third date, when I'm sure they like me."
"Jesus, Jared, I like you. You know I--"
"But you were expecting me to have a monster dick," says Jared. "I get it."
Jared's not hard anymore, and he's kind of a grower, so he looks even smaller now.
And then, Jared smirks.
Jensen's dick, which had also been pretty disinterested, twitches.
"So you were thinking about it, right?" says Jared. "Thinking about how hard I'd fuck you. I heard about you from Mike. Said you were such a fucking size queen."
"I hate Rosenbaum."
Jared licks his hand and pumps Jensen's dick once, firm and just right.
"Want to give it a try?"
And, of course he does, because it's not like penis size is a deal-breaker for Jensen. Especially not with Jared.
"Yeah. Of course."
Jared leans down, kisses him hard and fast.
"All fours," he says, when he pulls back, and Jensen goes, unable to say no to that tone of voice. "Someday," says Jared conversationally, as he roots around in his drawer, "I'm gonna show you size doesn't matter. Not the size of the boat, motion of the ocean, or whatever. But I bet you spent all night thinking about how I was going to fill you up, how hard I was gonna fuck you, how you were gonna feel me for days. So I'm gonna give you what you want, Jensen."
Jared kisses down the knobs of his spine, and then one kiss, right there on his asshole, before he starts licking him open. Jensen always knew Jared was good with his tongue, and feeling it pushing inside him is amazing. It gets better when one of Jared's fingers, long and huge, joins in, pushing Jensen open, going deeper. It's hot and wet, and another finger is inside him in no time. Jared scissors, pushing his tongue between his fingers, and Jensen just wants more.
Jared pulls his mouth away and leaves a sloppy kiss on Jensen's ass cheek. "Gonna make you feel so good," says Jared. "Gonna fuck you, Jensen."
Jensen's expecting a condom, but he just hears lube, and he's about to protest that he's not ready for bareback, but then Jared's fingers are slick, four of them, and he feels too full and so fucking turned on, realizing what Jared's going to do.
"Jared," he manages.
"Know one thing about me that's still freakishly huge," says Jared, working Jensen open, making him ache with it. He's thrusting abortively, but he's too high to hit the mattress, so he can't get any friction.
And then, holy fuck, Jared's hand is up his ass.
It's different, of course. Hands are not dicks, and Jensen's had some big stuff up there, but the shape is different. Jared gives him a minute to adjust, and there's that moment where Jensen flips from feeling too much to not feeling enough, and he pushes back against Jared's fist.
"Like that, huh?" asks Jared, and Jensen can see his smirk behind his eyelids. "Yeah, knew you would. Gotta work on your priorities, Jensen. Cuz, seriously, my hand might be big, but I am way better with my dick."
Given how Jared is driving Jensen out of his fucking mind with his hand, fucking him slow and steady, stroking his prostate, making him go nuts, Jensen thinks he might actually die if Jared's dick is better than this.
"Please," Jensen chokes, "need--god, Jared, I'm going to die."
"Drama queen," Jared says, making it sound like the dirtiest thing in the world, but he manages to get his left hand around Jensen. It's wet with lube, either on purpose or because he spilled when he was getting his other hand ready, and it's pretty much nothing other than something to fuck into, but that's all Jensen needs right now, and he comes ridiculously quickly. Jared pulls his hand out, and Jensen just kind of flops down and takes a few minutes to get his breath and brain back. When he regains his senses, he hears Jared making little needy noises and turns over to see that Jared's actually jerking himself off. Which is so not fair.
He manages to gain enough control of his limbs to crawl over, kiss Jared, and take over on his dick. It's--yeah, it's still smaller than he's used to, but Jared makes this desperate noise of pure want, like Jensen's hand plus his dick is the best thing to ever happen, and that makes up for a lot for Jensen. Jared doesn't take much longer before he's coming on Jensen's hand. Jensen kisses him through it and then they just keep going, until he realizes that they're getting sticky and gross.
"I'll get something," Jared says, eyes kind of soft and goofy, and Jensen just flops back on the bed, trying to put his world back together. Because--he just had sex with his best friend, and it wasn't even normal sex, it was fist-in-ass sex, and, well. Jensen is kind of on new ground here.
"You okay?" asks Jared. He's got a fucking warm towel, and he's wiping Jensen down. Of course, Jared would be a gentleman about fisting.
"We're sleeping on my bed," Jensen says. "Because, seriously? Neither of us should have to deal with that wet spot."
Jared laughs, sounding relieved. "Always thinking of others, man."
Jensen grins, pulls Jared up and kisses him. "We're great, Jared," he says, into Jared's lips.
Jared smiles back, relief and happiness all over his face. "Awesome."
J2, NC-17, rimming, fisting, 1700 words. THIS IS THE FIC ABOUT HOW JENSEN IS A TOTAL SIZE QUEEN AND JARED'S DICK IS NOT ACTUALLY VERY IMPRESSIVE
I missed non-AU guys :(d
Jensen loves dick.
Various friends of his throughout the years have made fun of him about this, mostly about how he looks like he's begging for it, or relating to his lips, or any of a billion photoshoots involving him looking like the twinkiest thing in the world. One time while he was on Smallville, Rosenbaum made a power point comparing his cowboy pictures to the actual Twinkies mascot which, apparently, wears a cowboy hat. And maybe spurs.
Jensen hates Rosenbaum.
Anyway, Jensen actually pretty much is a cockslut. He's not ashamed of it. As far as he's concerned, there's nothing wrong with liking dick. Dick is awesome.
And then he meets Jared.
The thing is, Jensen doesn't meet a lot of people who are significantly larger than him. Tom is, but Tom is married and straight, and Jensen has the sneaking suspicion that Mike would disembowel him if he ever tried anything, so he never has.
But Jared is fucking huge, and even if he has a girlfriend, there's nothing wrong with Jensen having technicolor fantasies of Jared pushing him down and making him choke on his fucking giant dick.
So that's awesome.
When Jared breaks up with Sandy and starts giving Jensen these long, hopeful, puppy-dog looks, Jensen thinks he actually has a chance. And, after three years, he's not just really interested in Jared's dick, he's pretty much head-over-heels fucking gone for him, so it's like every good thing ever when Jared finally says, "Hey, um. Look. I know you--dinner? I mean, a date dinner. With me."
"You asking me out?" Jensen asks with a slow smirk, and something in his face must make Jared realize he's going to say yes, because Jared just says, "Yeah," way more confident than he was a second ago.
So they go out to dinner and shoot the shit, flirt and laugh like they always have, and Jensen is half-hard the whole time, thinking about finally, finally getting his mouth on Jared's dick, finally getting that thing in his ass.
Yeah, it's kind of tough making it through the meal and acting like a normal person.
They're going back to the same house, and Jensen only then realizes that Jared is laboring under the misconception that they are not going to fuck tonight. He walks Jensen to the door and laughs, adorably, when Jensen raises his eyebrows.
"I had a really good time," he says. "Is that corny?"
"Jared, we both live here. You're going in this door too. This is--really unnecessary."
"Yeah, well," says Jared. "I figure I'm going to my room and you're going to--"
"Jared," he says very carefully. "We've been flirting for, like, four years. I am absolutely a sure thing here."
Jared swallows, his throat working in the porch-light. "Oh. Um. Really?"
Jensen unlocks the door, pulls Jared inside, pushes him up against the wall, and kisses him.
Jared makes this helpless whimpering noise, like he's been waiting for this too, and that's Jared's tongue in his mouth, and, fuck, yes.
"So I'm going to your room," Jensen pants.
"Yeah," Jared manages. "Okay."
They make out all the way up the stairs, and when they get into Jared's room, Jared pushes him down on the bed and dominates him a little, which, hell yes. Jensen doesn't generally say "I like being roughed up a little" on the first date, but he's pretty sure that they're going to get there, and he and Jared click so hard everywhere else, maybe Jared just knows what he likes.
Jensen fumbles with Jared's buttons, gets his shirt off, and then his undershirt, and Jared does the same, stripping him down. But that's not what Jensen's really excited for, and he pops the button on Jared's jeans and pushes his pants and boxers down in one smooth movement.
And then he just stops.
Because--Jared isn't proportional. Jared's dick is, well, it's fine, but it's not exactly what Jensen had in mind. And compared to the rest of Jared--jacked, huge, Sasquatch Jared--it looks tiny, even though it's probably a little bigger than the average dick.
And Jensen, well, he's horny and high on getting Jared after all these years, and he does the absolute wrong thing and laughs.
He laughs for a while, kind of hysterically, because--it's fucking hilarious, a cosmic joke, that this guy that Jensen loves now, who he started being interested in the first place because of his theoretical dick, is not actually hung.
When Jensen recovers, he sees Jared, looking mostly kind of wistful, but not exactly hurt.
"Yeah," he says, shaking his head. "I know. It's not exactly what you were expecting."
"It's just--I still--Jesus, I'm sorry."
"I usually wait until the third date, when I'm sure they like me."
"Jesus, Jared, I like you. You know I--"
"But you were expecting me to have a monster dick," says Jared. "I get it."
Jared's not hard anymore, and he's kind of a grower, so he looks even smaller now.
And then, Jared smirks.
Jensen's dick, which had also been pretty disinterested, twitches.
"So you were thinking about it, right?" says Jared. "Thinking about how hard I'd fuck you. I heard about you from Mike. Said you were such a fucking size queen."
"I hate Rosenbaum."
Jared licks his hand and pumps Jensen's dick once, firm and just right.
"Want to give it a try?"
And, of course he does, because it's not like penis size is a deal-breaker for Jensen. Especially not with Jared.
"Yeah. Of course."
Jared leans down, kisses him hard and fast.
"All fours," he says, when he pulls back, and Jensen goes, unable to say no to that tone of voice. "Someday," says Jared conversationally, as he roots around in his drawer, "I'm gonna show you size doesn't matter. Not the size of the boat, motion of the ocean, or whatever. But I bet you spent all night thinking about how I was going to fill you up, how hard I was gonna fuck you, how you were gonna feel me for days. So I'm gonna give you what you want, Jensen."
Jared kisses down the knobs of his spine, and then one kiss, right there on his asshole, before he starts licking him open. Jensen always knew Jared was good with his tongue, and feeling it pushing inside him is amazing. It gets better when one of Jared's fingers, long and huge, joins in, pushing Jensen open, going deeper. It's hot and wet, and another finger is inside him in no time. Jared scissors, pushing his tongue between his fingers, and Jensen just wants more.
Jared pulls his mouth away and leaves a sloppy kiss on Jensen's ass cheek. "Gonna make you feel so good," says Jared. "Gonna fuck you, Jensen."
Jensen's expecting a condom, but he just hears lube, and he's about to protest that he's not ready for bareback, but then Jared's fingers are slick, four of them, and he feels too full and so fucking turned on, realizing what Jared's going to do.
"Jared," he manages.
"Know one thing about me that's still freakishly huge," says Jared, working Jensen open, making him ache with it. He's thrusting abortively, but he's too high to hit the mattress, so he can't get any friction.
And then, holy fuck, Jared's hand is up his ass.
It's different, of course. Hands are not dicks, and Jensen's had some big stuff up there, but the shape is different. Jared gives him a minute to adjust, and there's that moment where Jensen flips from feeling too much to not feeling enough, and he pushes back against Jared's fist.
"Like that, huh?" asks Jared, and Jensen can see his smirk behind his eyelids. "Yeah, knew you would. Gotta work on your priorities, Jensen. Cuz, seriously, my hand might be big, but I am way better with my dick."
Given how Jared is driving Jensen out of his fucking mind with his hand, fucking him slow and steady, stroking his prostate, making him go nuts, Jensen thinks he might actually die if Jared's dick is better than this.
"Please," Jensen chokes, "need--god, Jared, I'm going to die."
"Drama queen," Jared says, making it sound like the dirtiest thing in the world, but he manages to get his left hand around Jensen. It's wet with lube, either on purpose or because he spilled when he was getting his other hand ready, and it's pretty much nothing other than something to fuck into, but that's all Jensen needs right now, and he comes ridiculously quickly. Jared pulls his hand out, and Jensen just kind of flops down and takes a few minutes to get his breath and brain back. When he regains his senses, he hears Jared making little needy noises and turns over to see that Jared's actually jerking himself off. Which is so not fair.
He manages to gain enough control of his limbs to crawl over, kiss Jared, and take over on his dick. It's--yeah, it's still smaller than he's used to, but Jared makes this desperate noise of pure want, like Jensen's hand plus his dick is the best thing to ever happen, and that makes up for a lot for Jensen. Jared doesn't take much longer before he's coming on Jensen's hand. Jensen kisses him through it and then they just keep going, until he realizes that they're getting sticky and gross.
"I'll get something," Jared says, eyes kind of soft and goofy, and Jensen just flops back on the bed, trying to put his world back together. Because--he just had sex with his best friend, and it wasn't even normal sex, it was fist-in-ass sex, and, well. Jensen is kind of on new ground here.
"You okay?" asks Jared. He's got a fucking warm towel, and he's wiping Jensen down. Of course, Jared would be a gentleman about fisting.
"We're sleeping on my bed," Jensen says. "Because, seriously? Neither of us should have to deal with that wet spot."
Jared laughs, sounding relieved. "Always thinking of others, man."
Jensen grins, pulls Jared up and kisses him. "We're great, Jared," he says, into Jared's lips.
Jared smiles back, relief and happiness all over his face. "Awesome."