CWRPS fic: You Look Nice, Alright (Jared/Jensen)
So the other day, I mentioned I was writing totally different things and then I ended up writing this fic. This fic here is what I was trying to write.
Title: You Look Nice, Alright.
Author: chash
Fandom: Supernatural RPS
Pairing: Jared Padalecki/Jensen Ackles
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Deals with Jared and Sandy's breakup.
Word Count: ~2200 words.
Summary: Jared hasn't actually figured out why he asked Jensen to move in, or why Jensen said yes.
Notes: backinblack mentioned, in one of her posts, that Jared probably smells terrible. This had not occurred to me, but I agreed with her, and that is why it is in this fic. Spoiler warning: Jared Padalecki smells terrible.
Disclaimer: Lies and untruths.
It didn't even make sense. Jared knew it didn't when he asked.
"It's going to be lonely without Sandy," was what he said, trying to keep it light. "You could move in, man. It'd beat the hotel."
He'd thought of a lot of things Jensen would say back. The logical things. Things like that Sandy never lived with him, that they spent all their time together already, that it was weird, to move in with someone when you could afford to be alone.
Jensen didn't say any of that. Jensen said, "Yeah, dude, that sounds good. I'll move in."
Jared hadn't realized until then that Jensen knew how much trouble he was having with the breakup. He'd still thought he was hiding things.
*
It wasn't that he was lonely without Sandy, of course. She'd come up to the house weekends, been there, visited, but she hadn't ever lived there.
Jared had felt the weight of being alone anyway, like there was something pressing down on his shoulders. It was stupid, really--he was twenty-six. He wasn't supposed to be all settled down yet. It wasn't like all his friends were married and settled and happy.
It wasn't like Jensen was.
*
"Maybe it's because we never went to college," Jared said.
"Mm," said Chad. He was half-asleep. That was the best time to talk to Chad. Half-asleep and over the phone, Chad was a great listener. And a better responder than usual, since he refrained from regularly calling Jared a douchebag.
"I mean, most people have roommates then and get sick of them. And I didn't, so now I'm having one. And I'll get sick of him."
"Mm."
"And then it can be just me and the dogs again and me and Jensen can agree that we really don't need to spend twenty-four hours a day together."
Chad didn't respond, so Jared assumed he'd fallen asleep.
"Night, Chad," he said with a smile, and felt more than saw Jensen sitting down next to him as he closed the phone.
"You're not seriously spending your night theorizing about why we live together to Chad, are you?"
Jared leaned back. "I know you haven't told anyone yet," was what he finally said. "It's because it's weird, right?" He wasn't sure if it came out more like he was asking why Jensen hadn't told anyone, or more like he wanted confirmation that it really was weird, that it wasn't just him thinking that. He wasn't sure which one he wanted to ask.
He'd thought Jensen would say no to moving in, and when he didn't, everything got out of whack.
"It's not weird," said Jensen, after the same long pause. "Not for us."
Jared smiled, a slow smile. "What makes us so special, huh?"
"Me, I'm smoking hot," said Jensen, smiling back. "But I don't know about you."
"I'm really tall," Jared pointed out.
"Yeah, but special tall? I dunno, man."
Jared shook his head. "I'm really glad you're living here. You know that, right?"
Jensen looked at him for a long time, and Jared wasn't sure what he was seeing.
"I know that, yeah."
*
Of course, Jared had thought about him and Jensen, like him and Jensen, like the idea that they could be a couple.
Not because he wanted it, exactly, but because it was impossible not to think about. Between the fans who thought they were fucking and the way Mike and Tom sent him flowers every year that were supposedly from Jensen, he was pretty much doomed to periodically do the what-if thing.
He liked Jensen, clearly. Jensen was his best friend, which was a little weird. He'd had friends before Jensen and Supernatural, good friends--people he really cared about. Chad, sure, but even more than that, real people. Guys from elementary and high school, guys he'd known his whole life, who would be there once he was done with the whole acting thing.
And then he met Jensen and somehow all his old best friends weren't the same.
Because he and Jensen, they were connected. They were more.
So he'd thought about it.
*
"You should fuck him," said Mike.
On the phone, his voice sounded so far away that it made Jared's chest ache a little. He thought it was the breakup with Sandy that made him go soft; why the fuck else would he ever be missing Michael Rosenbaum this much? It was just another stupid change on top of a lot of other stupid little changes. Every other season he and Sandy were together, he and Jensen lived in different places, and Mike was in Vancouver, being an asshole. Mike was the first to leave, and maybe it was like the chaos theory from there--Sandy left him because of psychic reverberations.
"I think you broke up my marriage," said Jared.
"Engagement," Mike corrected. "How?"
"Leaving."
"Yeah, I left Vancouver and Sandy realized she had a shot with me. I think the way you're gay for Jensen broke up your engagement."
"I'm not," said Jared. "Gay for Jensen," he clarified, like he could have meant something else.
"You're living together," said Mike.
"That doesn't mean anything," said Jared.
"Yeah," said Mike, scarily simple for Mike. "It does."
*
They broke up for a lot of reasons. They were good reasons too; there was a mature conversation, a lot of thought and consideration.
No one threw anything against the wall, no one cried bitter tears of betrayal. They were both actors; they weren't supposed to talk and agree that they wanted different things.
Right after, he had called Jensen.
"I guess I'm single," he said.
Jensen was silent for a long time. Then, "You guess? You really should know this shit, Padalecki."
He'd smiled despite himself. "I'm definitely single."
Jensen was in Pittsburgh for filming, and Jared felt the distance keenly, aware of every mile. Jensen was supposed to be here for this. That was what best friends were for.
"I'm sorry, Jared," said Jensen. "What happened?"
"We decided it wasn't working," he said. It was bright out; it was nice of Sandy to break up with him a week he wasn't filming. Considerate. "Can you come over?" he asked, simple, like Jensen was twenty minutes away instead of across the country. Jared knew he shouldn't have asked at all; selfish of him to have done it. But he hadn't been able to help himself.
"Yeah," was all Jensen said, no questions. "I can."
*
Jensen showed up ten hours later with a duffel bag, a tub of ice cream, and A League of Their Own.
"You're a bastard," said Jared, his nose buried in Jensen's neck as he hugged him.
"The bastardiest," agreed Jensen.
"Thanks for coming," he added, an afterthought.
"Anytime," said Jensen, and he meant it.
*
"It's not like I'm suffering, living with you," Jensen said in August. "I'm not calling Steve every night to bitch about it."
"Didn't think you were," said Jared, blinking.
"It's us, Jared," he said. "If it wasn't, it would be weird. So I'm not telling anyone about it. They won't get it."
I don't get it either, Jared wanted to say. But instead he said, "Yeah."
*
"I'm glad Jensen is taking care of you," Sandy said. She'd gotten some variation of that into all their conversations since the breakup, as if she'd spend all her time worrying Jared had drowned himself in the bathtub if not for Jensen.
"He's not," said Jared, loud enough he knew Jensen could hear him in the other room, where he was playing Madden. "He doesn't tuck me in or read me bedtime stories or make me warm milk when I have nightmares."
"Tattletale," called Jensen.
"I'm really happy for you, Jared," said Sandy, quietly, and he could hear her smile, could see exactly how she would have looked when he closed his eyes.
"Why?" he asked. It was kind of mean, but he was genuinely curious.
"Playing dumb isn't actually cute, you know," she said.
"You know me and Jensen aren't dating, right?" he asked, sighing.
"We aren't?" asked Jensen. Jared stuck his tongue out.
"Maybe there's a reason everyone thinks you should be," Sandy pointed out.
"It would be really hot," agreed Jared.
Sandy laughed. "Think about it," she said.
"Yeah," said Jared, not meaning it.
He spent a lot of time every day not thinking about it. He didn't really want to screw that up.
*
Everyone on set, of course, knew they lived together. It was hard to not tell people about that. They'd both given a lot of reasons why, but Jared was aware that none of those explanations were true; he could feel it prickling on his skin, that knowledge that there was some other reason he and Jensen lived together.
People didn't come up and ask if they were dating all the time, or tell Jared to fuck Jensen like Rosenbaum did, but Jared was pretty sure they all thought Jared and Jensen were dating. And he thought maybe it was because they were lying, because they'd never said the real reason they lived together, because they didn't know it.
He thought maybe if they figured it out, it would stop being weird.
But Jensen never acted liked it was weird anyway. Jensen always seemed loose and free and easy, like all of this was perfectly normal, like no one ever told him to fuck Jared.
Like he never wanted to.
*
"My mom thinks we're dating," said Jensen. "She says it's legal to get married since we're in Canada. She also says hi, but it was kind of an afterthought."
Jared sprayed orange juice all over the counter. "Doesn't that bug you?" he managed, coughing on the sharp taste of citrus.
Jensen shrugged. "Nah. Why would it?"
Jared gestured with his hands. "It's weird. I mean. It is weird, right?"
Jensen looked at him for a long minute. "It doesn't have to be weird, man. You're letting it be."
Jared let out a laugh. "It's not me. Everybody else is--"
Jensen was suddenly close to him, in his personal space, hand on Jared's arm. "It could be really simple, Jared."
Jared swallowed. "Why did you move in here?" was what he finally asked, past the lump in this throat.
"Because you're Jared," said Jensen, like it explained all the questions Jared could ever have.
It kind of did, Jared realized.
"Oh," he said. "I'm kind of on the rebound."
"I know."
"I can't cook."
Jensen snorted. "I noticed."
"I kind of smell like dog all the time."
"More than kind of."
Jared sighed. "Basically, I'm a disgusting human being."
"Completely," Jensen agreed.
"Okay," said Jared. "Just wanted to cover that."
He kissed Jensen right there in the kitchen, even though his nose still burned from orange juice and Jensen's mouth tasted like stale coffee and a bad night's sleep. It was kind of gross, honestly. Nothing like kissing Sandy, who always had this magical clean taste, like she carried a mini-shower and toothbrush around in her over-sized purse.
Jared groaned and kissed him harder, because this was Jensen, who was the best friend he'd ever had and who took care of him and who also kind of smelled like dog.
More than kind of.
Jensen pulled away. "We should take this slow."
"Because I'm rebounding?" Jared asked. "My ex-fiancee thinks we should be fucking. I'm just saying."
Jensen raised an eyebrow. "Sandy did not actually say that."
"Close enough," said Jared, waving his hand.
"We should take this slow," Jensen repeated, "because I'm a classy girl who deserves respect."
Jared felt his grin before he knew he was doing it, realized his cheeks ached and his teeth were getting dried out. "How could I forget?" he asked.
"I dunno, man. You ever notice how my shirts don't show off my cleavage? That's a big clue."
Jared laughed, letting the tension out, feeling pieces of a puzzle he didn't even know he was working on fitting in to place.
Because it was Jensen. Of fucking course.
*
"Do I really say your name when I'm sleeping?" Jensen asked. He sounded curious, like this was trivia he wanted to know.
"All the damn time, man," said Jared.
"Huh. But I don't actually have a giant crush on you."
"Nah," agreed Jared.
It figured, really. All he needed to be totally okay telling anyone and everyone he lived with Jensen was to just start sleeping with him. Then everything made perfect sense. And then he could just laugh off the rumors, like they were ridiculous now that they were true.
"But you do sweat all the damn time," said Jensen, poking him in the ribs. "Freak."
"You get me sweaty all the time," said Jared.
"Dude, don't blame this on me. You're just lucky I'm willing to have a giant sweaty boyfriend who smells like dog."
"Yeah, you're really making sacrifices here."
"Someone's gotta help you rebound."
"Think I'm done rebounding," said Jared, trying to sound casual.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. The sex is good, but I need something more, you know?"
"Huh," said Jensen, carefully casual too.
"So, you free for dinner tonight?"
Jensen smiled. "I'll see if I can fit you in."
Title: You Look Nice, Alright.
Author: chash
Fandom: Supernatural RPS
Pairing: Jared Padalecki/Jensen Ackles
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Deals with Jared and Sandy's breakup.
Word Count: ~2200 words.
Summary: Jared hasn't actually figured out why he asked Jensen to move in, or why Jensen said yes.
Notes: backinblack mentioned, in one of her posts, that Jared probably smells terrible. This had not occurred to me, but I agreed with her, and that is why it is in this fic. Spoiler warning: Jared Padalecki smells terrible.
Disclaimer: Lies and untruths.
It didn't even make sense. Jared knew it didn't when he asked.
"It's going to be lonely without Sandy," was what he said, trying to keep it light. "You could move in, man. It'd beat the hotel."
He'd thought of a lot of things Jensen would say back. The logical things. Things like that Sandy never lived with him, that they spent all their time together already, that it was weird, to move in with someone when you could afford to be alone.
Jensen didn't say any of that. Jensen said, "Yeah, dude, that sounds good. I'll move in."
Jared hadn't realized until then that Jensen knew how much trouble he was having with the breakup. He'd still thought he was hiding things.
*
It wasn't that he was lonely without Sandy, of course. She'd come up to the house weekends, been there, visited, but she hadn't ever lived there.
Jared had felt the weight of being alone anyway, like there was something pressing down on his shoulders. It was stupid, really--he was twenty-six. He wasn't supposed to be all settled down yet. It wasn't like all his friends were married and settled and happy.
It wasn't like Jensen was.
*
"Maybe it's because we never went to college," Jared said.
"Mm," said Chad. He was half-asleep. That was the best time to talk to Chad. Half-asleep and over the phone, Chad was a great listener. And a better responder than usual, since he refrained from regularly calling Jared a douchebag.
"I mean, most people have roommates then and get sick of them. And I didn't, so now I'm having one. And I'll get sick of him."
"Mm."
"And then it can be just me and the dogs again and me and Jensen can agree that we really don't need to spend twenty-four hours a day together."
Chad didn't respond, so Jared assumed he'd fallen asleep.
"Night, Chad," he said with a smile, and felt more than saw Jensen sitting down next to him as he closed the phone.
"You're not seriously spending your night theorizing about why we live together to Chad, are you?"
Jared leaned back. "I know you haven't told anyone yet," was what he finally said. "It's because it's weird, right?" He wasn't sure if it came out more like he was asking why Jensen hadn't told anyone, or more like he wanted confirmation that it really was weird, that it wasn't just him thinking that. He wasn't sure which one he wanted to ask.
He'd thought Jensen would say no to moving in, and when he didn't, everything got out of whack.
"It's not weird," said Jensen, after the same long pause. "Not for us."
Jared smiled, a slow smile. "What makes us so special, huh?"
"Me, I'm smoking hot," said Jensen, smiling back. "But I don't know about you."
"I'm really tall," Jared pointed out.
"Yeah, but special tall? I dunno, man."
Jared shook his head. "I'm really glad you're living here. You know that, right?"
Jensen looked at him for a long time, and Jared wasn't sure what he was seeing.
"I know that, yeah."
*
Of course, Jared had thought about him and Jensen, like him and Jensen, like the idea that they could be a couple.
Not because he wanted it, exactly, but because it was impossible not to think about. Between the fans who thought they were fucking and the way Mike and Tom sent him flowers every year that were supposedly from Jensen, he was pretty much doomed to periodically do the what-if thing.
He liked Jensen, clearly. Jensen was his best friend, which was a little weird. He'd had friends before Jensen and Supernatural, good friends--people he really cared about. Chad, sure, but even more than that, real people. Guys from elementary and high school, guys he'd known his whole life, who would be there once he was done with the whole acting thing.
And then he met Jensen and somehow all his old best friends weren't the same.
Because he and Jensen, they were connected. They were more.
So he'd thought about it.
*
"You should fuck him," said Mike.
On the phone, his voice sounded so far away that it made Jared's chest ache a little. He thought it was the breakup with Sandy that made him go soft; why the fuck else would he ever be missing Michael Rosenbaum this much? It was just another stupid change on top of a lot of other stupid little changes. Every other season he and Sandy were together, he and Jensen lived in different places, and Mike was in Vancouver, being an asshole. Mike was the first to leave, and maybe it was like the chaos theory from there--Sandy left him because of psychic reverberations.
"I think you broke up my marriage," said Jared.
"Engagement," Mike corrected. "How?"
"Leaving."
"Yeah, I left Vancouver and Sandy realized she had a shot with me. I think the way you're gay for Jensen broke up your engagement."
"I'm not," said Jared. "Gay for Jensen," he clarified, like he could have meant something else.
"You're living together," said Mike.
"That doesn't mean anything," said Jared.
"Yeah," said Mike, scarily simple for Mike. "It does."
*
They broke up for a lot of reasons. They were good reasons too; there was a mature conversation, a lot of thought and consideration.
No one threw anything against the wall, no one cried bitter tears of betrayal. They were both actors; they weren't supposed to talk and agree that they wanted different things.
Right after, he had called Jensen.
"I guess I'm single," he said.
Jensen was silent for a long time. Then, "You guess? You really should know this shit, Padalecki."
He'd smiled despite himself. "I'm definitely single."
Jensen was in Pittsburgh for filming, and Jared felt the distance keenly, aware of every mile. Jensen was supposed to be here for this. That was what best friends were for.
"I'm sorry, Jared," said Jensen. "What happened?"
"We decided it wasn't working," he said. It was bright out; it was nice of Sandy to break up with him a week he wasn't filming. Considerate. "Can you come over?" he asked, simple, like Jensen was twenty minutes away instead of across the country. Jared knew he shouldn't have asked at all; selfish of him to have done it. But he hadn't been able to help himself.
"Yeah," was all Jensen said, no questions. "I can."
*
Jensen showed up ten hours later with a duffel bag, a tub of ice cream, and A League of Their Own.
"You're a bastard," said Jared, his nose buried in Jensen's neck as he hugged him.
"The bastardiest," agreed Jensen.
"Thanks for coming," he added, an afterthought.
"Anytime," said Jensen, and he meant it.
*
"It's not like I'm suffering, living with you," Jensen said in August. "I'm not calling Steve every night to bitch about it."
"Didn't think you were," said Jared, blinking.
"It's us, Jared," he said. "If it wasn't, it would be weird. So I'm not telling anyone about it. They won't get it."
I don't get it either, Jared wanted to say. But instead he said, "Yeah."
*
"I'm glad Jensen is taking care of you," Sandy said. She'd gotten some variation of that into all their conversations since the breakup, as if she'd spend all her time worrying Jared had drowned himself in the bathtub if not for Jensen.
"He's not," said Jared, loud enough he knew Jensen could hear him in the other room, where he was playing Madden. "He doesn't tuck me in or read me bedtime stories or make me warm milk when I have nightmares."
"Tattletale," called Jensen.
"I'm really happy for you, Jared," said Sandy, quietly, and he could hear her smile, could see exactly how she would have looked when he closed his eyes.
"Why?" he asked. It was kind of mean, but he was genuinely curious.
"Playing dumb isn't actually cute, you know," she said.
"You know me and Jensen aren't dating, right?" he asked, sighing.
"We aren't?" asked Jensen. Jared stuck his tongue out.
"Maybe there's a reason everyone thinks you should be," Sandy pointed out.
"It would be really hot," agreed Jared.
Sandy laughed. "Think about it," she said.
"Yeah," said Jared, not meaning it.
He spent a lot of time every day not thinking about it. He didn't really want to screw that up.
*
Everyone on set, of course, knew they lived together. It was hard to not tell people about that. They'd both given a lot of reasons why, but Jared was aware that none of those explanations were true; he could feel it prickling on his skin, that knowledge that there was some other reason he and Jensen lived together.
People didn't come up and ask if they were dating all the time, or tell Jared to fuck Jensen like Rosenbaum did, but Jared was pretty sure they all thought Jared and Jensen were dating. And he thought maybe it was because they were lying, because they'd never said the real reason they lived together, because they didn't know it.
He thought maybe if they figured it out, it would stop being weird.
But Jensen never acted liked it was weird anyway. Jensen always seemed loose and free and easy, like all of this was perfectly normal, like no one ever told him to fuck Jared.
Like he never wanted to.
*
"My mom thinks we're dating," said Jensen. "She says it's legal to get married since we're in Canada. She also says hi, but it was kind of an afterthought."
Jared sprayed orange juice all over the counter. "Doesn't that bug you?" he managed, coughing on the sharp taste of citrus.
Jensen shrugged. "Nah. Why would it?"
Jared gestured with his hands. "It's weird. I mean. It is weird, right?"
Jensen looked at him for a long minute. "It doesn't have to be weird, man. You're letting it be."
Jared let out a laugh. "It's not me. Everybody else is--"
Jensen was suddenly close to him, in his personal space, hand on Jared's arm. "It could be really simple, Jared."
Jared swallowed. "Why did you move in here?" was what he finally asked, past the lump in this throat.
"Because you're Jared," said Jensen, like it explained all the questions Jared could ever have.
It kind of did, Jared realized.
"Oh," he said. "I'm kind of on the rebound."
"I know."
"I can't cook."
Jensen snorted. "I noticed."
"I kind of smell like dog all the time."
"More than kind of."
Jared sighed. "Basically, I'm a disgusting human being."
"Completely," Jensen agreed.
"Okay," said Jared. "Just wanted to cover that."
He kissed Jensen right there in the kitchen, even though his nose still burned from orange juice and Jensen's mouth tasted like stale coffee and a bad night's sleep. It was kind of gross, honestly. Nothing like kissing Sandy, who always had this magical clean taste, like she carried a mini-shower and toothbrush around in her over-sized purse.
Jared groaned and kissed him harder, because this was Jensen, who was the best friend he'd ever had and who took care of him and who also kind of smelled like dog.
More than kind of.
Jensen pulled away. "We should take this slow."
"Because I'm rebounding?" Jared asked. "My ex-fiancee thinks we should be fucking. I'm just saying."
Jensen raised an eyebrow. "Sandy did not actually say that."
"Close enough," said Jared, waving his hand.
"We should take this slow," Jensen repeated, "because I'm a classy girl who deserves respect."
Jared felt his grin before he knew he was doing it, realized his cheeks ached and his teeth were getting dried out. "How could I forget?" he asked.
"I dunno, man. You ever notice how my shirts don't show off my cleavage? That's a big clue."
Jared laughed, letting the tension out, feeling pieces of a puzzle he didn't even know he was working on fitting in to place.
Because it was Jensen. Of fucking course.
*
"Do I really say your name when I'm sleeping?" Jensen asked. He sounded curious, like this was trivia he wanted to know.
"All the damn time, man," said Jared.
"Huh. But I don't actually have a giant crush on you."
"Nah," agreed Jared.
It figured, really. All he needed to be totally okay telling anyone and everyone he lived with Jensen was to just start sleeping with him. Then everything made perfect sense. And then he could just laugh off the rumors, like they were ridiculous now that they were true.
"But you do sweat all the damn time," said Jensen, poking him in the ribs. "Freak."
"You get me sweaty all the time," said Jared.
"Dude, don't blame this on me. You're just lucky I'm willing to have a giant sweaty boyfriend who smells like dog."
"Yeah, you're really making sacrifices here."
"Someone's gotta help you rebound."
"Think I'm done rebounding," said Jared, trying to sound casual.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. The sex is good, but I need something more, you know?"
"Huh," said Jensen, carefully casual too.
"So, you free for dinner tonight?"
Jensen smiled. "I'll see if I can fit you in."