(no subject)
So, here's the deal.
Yesterday, as part of my drabble meme, I wrote this Jared/Jensen high school AU snippet. And liked it! And I was trying to write more and really all I came up with was Jensen's POV on the same scene.
So I wrote that.
Jensen Ackles figured out he was gay by staring at the side of Jared Padalecki's head during sophomore English.
Jared sat one seat in front of him one row over, and Jensen got the worst grade he's ever gotten in a class that year because he spent more time watching Jared chew his pencil and pass notes to Chad Michael Murray and Sandy McCoy than he did listening to the teacher. Possibly more than he spent on actually reading the books for the course too.
At first, he thought it was just because Jared looked sort of like Jensen felt. Jensen had always been a shy kid, quiet and accustomed to blending in with the crowds. On a whim, and with some pressure from his brother, he'd decided to try out for football freshman year, and it turned out he was good. And it was apparently impossible to be good at football in Texas and not be popular along with it, and Jensen found himself feeling like a fish out of water, thrown into a sphere he didn't understand.
And Jared Padalecki sophomore year looked like his body had done that too him, forcibly. He wasn't exactly good-looking, Jensen knew; not back then he wasn't, anyway. Jensen just thought the two of them--'connected' sounded so stupid, but that was how he felt. Like he and Jared were connected.
Then about halfway through the year, he had a technicolor dream about making out with Jared until he couldn't feel his lips, woke up with a hard-on, and realized he might be gay.
So he thinks maybe it's fate--maybe it's the connection--that brings Jared Padalecki behind the gym when Jensen is freaking out about having come out to his parents.
"Oh," he says, hoping he's not blushing too hard. "Uh. Hi. Jared, right?" he asks, like he doesn't know. It's pathetic to have never spoken to the guy he's been in love with for two years, but--Jensen is kind of pathetic.
Jared looks down, looking surprised. "Yeah. Jensen?"
Jensen waves a little. "Sorry, I'm--tired."
Jared looks surprised. "You don't have to apologize. You have a pass." He gestures to Jensen's hand.
Jensen laughs. "I stole Kripke's while he was out." He leans back and sighs. "It's been a shitty week," he admits.
"Yeah?" asks Jared. He sounds uncertain, and Jensen has to smile a little. Jared grew out of his awkward phase--now he's tall and hot and kind of a delinquent, but he's smart as hell, and nice to pretty much everyone. He just seems to think school is a total waste. Jensen's pretty sure he'd listen to anyone bitch about anything, just because--he's a good guy.
Jensen's such an idiot.
"Yeah. I just--you ever get your parents pissed at you? Like, really pissed."
Jared laughs. "I'm cutting class to smoke behind the building. My parents are pissed at me all the time."
"But--you ever think they're not going to forgive you?" Jensen asks quietly.
Jared look at him for a long minute. "No. I guess not."
"I think mine might," Jensen admits.
"Why?"
He swallows. So far, he's only said it to his parents. None of his friends know. Jared Padalecki is the wrong person to come out to, probably, but it doesn't feel that way. It feels natural. "I told them I like guys."
"Oh," says Jared.
Jensen laughs, shakily. "God, I bet you're just standing here wondering why the fuck I'm telling you this, right?"
"Because I'm here?" Jared suggests.
Jensen looks over at him. Jared is the best thing he's ever seen in his life. He's been wanting to get to know him forever. It seemed like--well, when was he ever going to see Jared Padalecki one-on-one again?
"Exactly," he says.
Jared takes a long drag of his cigarette during the conversational lull, and then looks sheepish. "Oh, uh. Sorry. I can--probably isn't good for your lungs."
Jensen laughs. "And it's good for yours."
"I don't do this much," says Jared, waving his free hand. "It's just, you know, reputation to uphold. I can't have people thinking I'm an honor student."
"You are an honor student," Jensen points out. Jared's in pretty much all his classes, and Jensen takes the most advanced classes they offer.
"Yeah," says Jared. "This is my point."
Jensen wonders what he's supposed to say now. He wants to keep this going--seriously, two years of being too shy to talk to the guy is a lot to make up for.
"When I came out to my grandparents," Jared says quietly, "they told me there was something wrong with me. That I must be a delinquent. So, you know. Now I smoke behind the school and cut class and sometimes I listen to rap music."
Jensen suddenly can't breathe. "You're--"
"Yeah," says Jared easily. He slants a look at Jensen, amusement playing around his lips. "You're not homophobic, are you?"
Jensen lets out a bark of laughter. "Jerk," he says, and Jared grins.
Jared's never grinned at him before.
He drops his cigarette on the ground and his smile softens. "Hey, trust me. Your parents? They're gonna get okay with this."
"Like yours did?"
"My grandparents never did," Jared admits. "My parents were always fine with it, but the rest of my family--yeah. They're pretty close-minded."
"Sorry."
Jared shrugs. "I'm not really complaining. I've got it pretty good."
The bell rings distantly, and Jensen blinks. "Oh, uh--I gotta go. Fourth period is--"
"Physics," says Jared, smiling gently. "I'm in your class."
"I know," Jensen says automatically. "I just, uh--didn't know if you were coming."
"Gotta at least make a cameo. Besides, we have a quiz."
Jensen nods. "Hey, uh--thanks. For--you know."
Jared smiles. "Don't mention it."
And now I don't really know what happens! I mean, clearly, gay love ensues, but individual events are a mystery to me.
SO here's the game we are going to play. Or the game I want to play, if you're willing. Give me words! Not prompts--no plots or scenarios or anything, just three to five words, and I will do scenes that use those words. And ideally somewhere in this process I will find my chi or whatever and discover the music in me and come out with some kind of coherent high school au narrative.
FUN FOR ALL
(note: fun for all is not actually a guarantee.)
(second note: every time I see the word "guarantee" I think "guar gum." Which is a much less common word, so wtf brain.)
eta
I meant to add this earlier, but then mom and I had to brave the rain to buy lightbulbs. SO belatedly, this is not the kind of meme where I am promising (guaranteeing? GUAR GUMMING??) to reply to every prompt, or to reply in order. I will be doing them as fancy takes me. SO YOU KNOW FYI. I cannot actually promise to do everything here. THAT IS ALL word.
Yesterday, as part of my drabble meme, I wrote this Jared/Jensen high school AU snippet. And liked it! And I was trying to write more and really all I came up with was Jensen's POV on the same scene.
So I wrote that.
Jensen Ackles figured out he was gay by staring at the side of Jared Padalecki's head during sophomore English.
Jared sat one seat in front of him one row over, and Jensen got the worst grade he's ever gotten in a class that year because he spent more time watching Jared chew his pencil and pass notes to Chad Michael Murray and Sandy McCoy than he did listening to the teacher. Possibly more than he spent on actually reading the books for the course too.
At first, he thought it was just because Jared looked sort of like Jensen felt. Jensen had always been a shy kid, quiet and accustomed to blending in with the crowds. On a whim, and with some pressure from his brother, he'd decided to try out for football freshman year, and it turned out he was good. And it was apparently impossible to be good at football in Texas and not be popular along with it, and Jensen found himself feeling like a fish out of water, thrown into a sphere he didn't understand.
And Jared Padalecki sophomore year looked like his body had done that too him, forcibly. He wasn't exactly good-looking, Jensen knew; not back then he wasn't, anyway. Jensen just thought the two of them--'connected' sounded so stupid, but that was how he felt. Like he and Jared were connected.
Then about halfway through the year, he had a technicolor dream about making out with Jared until he couldn't feel his lips, woke up with a hard-on, and realized he might be gay.
So he thinks maybe it's fate--maybe it's the connection--that brings Jared Padalecki behind the gym when Jensen is freaking out about having come out to his parents.
"Oh," he says, hoping he's not blushing too hard. "Uh. Hi. Jared, right?" he asks, like he doesn't know. It's pathetic to have never spoken to the guy he's been in love with for two years, but--Jensen is kind of pathetic.
Jared looks down, looking surprised. "Yeah. Jensen?"
Jensen waves a little. "Sorry, I'm--tired."
Jared looks surprised. "You don't have to apologize. You have a pass." He gestures to Jensen's hand.
Jensen laughs. "I stole Kripke's while he was out." He leans back and sighs. "It's been a shitty week," he admits.
"Yeah?" asks Jared. He sounds uncertain, and Jensen has to smile a little. Jared grew out of his awkward phase--now he's tall and hot and kind of a delinquent, but he's smart as hell, and nice to pretty much everyone. He just seems to think school is a total waste. Jensen's pretty sure he'd listen to anyone bitch about anything, just because--he's a good guy.
Jensen's such an idiot.
"Yeah. I just--you ever get your parents pissed at you? Like, really pissed."
Jared laughs. "I'm cutting class to smoke behind the building. My parents are pissed at me all the time."
"But--you ever think they're not going to forgive you?" Jensen asks quietly.
Jared look at him for a long minute. "No. I guess not."
"I think mine might," Jensen admits.
"Why?"
He swallows. So far, he's only said it to his parents. None of his friends know. Jared Padalecki is the wrong person to come out to, probably, but it doesn't feel that way. It feels natural. "I told them I like guys."
"Oh," says Jared.
Jensen laughs, shakily. "God, I bet you're just standing here wondering why the fuck I'm telling you this, right?"
"Because I'm here?" Jared suggests.
Jensen looks over at him. Jared is the best thing he's ever seen in his life. He's been wanting to get to know him forever. It seemed like--well, when was he ever going to see Jared Padalecki one-on-one again?
"Exactly," he says.
Jared takes a long drag of his cigarette during the conversational lull, and then looks sheepish. "Oh, uh. Sorry. I can--probably isn't good for your lungs."
Jensen laughs. "And it's good for yours."
"I don't do this much," says Jared, waving his free hand. "It's just, you know, reputation to uphold. I can't have people thinking I'm an honor student."
"You are an honor student," Jensen points out. Jared's in pretty much all his classes, and Jensen takes the most advanced classes they offer.
"Yeah," says Jared. "This is my point."
Jensen wonders what he's supposed to say now. He wants to keep this going--seriously, two years of being too shy to talk to the guy is a lot to make up for.
"When I came out to my grandparents," Jared says quietly, "they told me there was something wrong with me. That I must be a delinquent. So, you know. Now I smoke behind the school and cut class and sometimes I listen to rap music."
Jensen suddenly can't breathe. "You're--"
"Yeah," says Jared easily. He slants a look at Jensen, amusement playing around his lips. "You're not homophobic, are you?"
Jensen lets out a bark of laughter. "Jerk," he says, and Jared grins.
Jared's never grinned at him before.
He drops his cigarette on the ground and his smile softens. "Hey, trust me. Your parents? They're gonna get okay with this."
"Like yours did?"
"My grandparents never did," Jared admits. "My parents were always fine with it, but the rest of my family--yeah. They're pretty close-minded."
"Sorry."
Jared shrugs. "I'm not really complaining. I've got it pretty good."
The bell rings distantly, and Jensen blinks. "Oh, uh--I gotta go. Fourth period is--"
"Physics," says Jared, smiling gently. "I'm in your class."
"I know," Jensen says automatically. "I just, uh--didn't know if you were coming."
"Gotta at least make a cameo. Besides, we have a quiz."
Jensen nods. "Hey, uh--thanks. For--you know."
Jared smiles. "Don't mention it."
And now I don't really know what happens! I mean, clearly, gay love ensues, but individual events are a mystery to me.
SO here's the game we are going to play. Or the game I want to play, if you're willing. Give me words! Not prompts--no plots or scenarios or anything, just three to five words, and I will do scenes that use those words. And ideally somewhere in this process I will find my chi or whatever and discover the music in me and come out with some kind of coherent high school au narrative.
FUN FOR ALL
(note: fun for all is not actually a guarantee.)
(second note: every time I see the word "guarantee" I think "guar gum." Which is a much less common word, so wtf brain.)
eta
I meant to add this earlier, but then mom and I had to brave the rain to buy lightbulbs. SO belatedly, this is not the kind of meme where I am promising (guaranteeing? GUAR GUMMING??) to reply to every prompt, or to reply in order. I will be doing them as fancy takes me. SO YOU KNOW FYI. I cannot actually promise to do everything here. THAT IS ALL word.