(no subject)
This is, in fact, just schmoop. Tractorbeam schmoop, even! Don't judge. The night of You Can Tell Everybody.
Jared really doesn't think of himself as the jealous type.
He's dated a lot of guys who are jealous, and Jared always thought of them as immature douchebags with masculinity issues.
Okay, not all of them, but--he's always thought of himself as the guy who's secure in his relationships, trusting of his partners, all that. And he has always been that guy.
Until Jensen, anyway.
It doesn't even make fucking sense, because Jared's been dating Jensen for months, is head-over-heels in love, and knows Jensen loves him back, so he should be completely confident about everything about the two of them, but--there's this problem.
Jensen is awesome, but he's got the emotional sensitivity of a rock. Jared is fairly confident that Jensen could, with no trouble, fall in love with someone and not notice. After all, Jensen asked Google if he was in love.
Jared stares at Jensen's door.
There's nothing wrong, in fact. Jensen did a romantic gesture like a real human being, and told Jared--well, Jared's still grinning to himself a little about how Jensen totally wants to marry him.
That was the implication Jared got, anyway.
But he feels like--he feels like he should at least mention why he's jealous, because it's not inconceivable. People fall out of love. Even geniuses.
Jared opens the door.
Jensen is dozing on the couch--he's been going in to work early all week, so it's not really a surprise that he's conked out. He stirs as soon as Jared closes the door, and--it's honestly ridiculous how much Jared loves him. Like he's never loved anything else in the entire world.
"Hey," says Jensen.
"Hi," says Jared, letting himself grin like a lunatic.
"You look happy," says Jensen. "Is it because I'm not leaving you for Misha Collins?"
He makes room on the couch and Jared sits down, enjoying the way Jensen instantly relaxes against him and cuddles up.
"You believe in soulmates?" asks Jared.
Jensen wrinkles his brow. "Why?"
"Humor me."
"Statistically, I doubt there's just one person for everyone. I figure there's--I don't know. More? I never really cared enough to do the math." He ducks his head. "I figure there are a lot of people who could love you forever."
Jared laughs.
"But you, uh--you might be the only one who could love me," Jensen admits.
Jared jostles him a little. "Dude, self esteem much?"
"I'm difficult."
"You know you're really hot, right?" asks Jared.
He really is. Jared's always thought so--even when he was always in the superhero t-shirts and plaid pants--but now he wears jeans sometimes, and Jared makes him go running so he's getting in better shape and his shirts are fitting a little tighter, and Jensen's definitely the kind of guy who can turn heads. The fact that he hasn't noticed seems to make him hotter.
Jensen shrugs. "You like me," he says, as if nothing else matters. Which, to Jensen, it doesn't. Jared feels squirmy inside when he remembers this--he doesn't know what to do with it, sometimes.
"Someone else might like you too, someday," says Jared. "Someone--someone who's hot and fun and actually knows what you're talking about when you talk about work."
There's a pause, and Jensen picks up Jared's hand and idly plays with it. He does this mostly when he thinks Jared's upset, or when he's upset and wants Jared to think he's not. Jared doesn't know which one it is this time, but he likes the casual affection.
Finally, Jensen says, "You listen to me."
Jared wants to ask, but he doesn't want to interrupt. Jensen will probably explain.
"You listen, even though you don't know what it means. And you--god, Jared. I don't need a boyfriend who can dissect my research. I've got guys who do that at work, and online, and in journals. I just--I want to come home to someone who--" he snorts. "Actually, no. I want to come home to you."
Jared's grin is back, and he knows it, and he can't wipe it off his face.
"You want to marry me someday?" he asks. He's not sure, as he says it, if he's proposing or just asking. If Jensen says yes, he'll do it again later, properly. Even though Jensen won't understand why.
Jensen wrinkles his nose. "I don't like marriage much," he admits. "But I guess if you want to."
Jared laughs. "Just to make me happy."
"Yeah," says Jensen, like it's obvious.
"God," says Jared, "I love you."
"Yeah." Jensen settles against his shoulder more firmly, finds the remote and flips on the TV. "Discovery Channel okay?" he asks.
Jared leans his head against Jensen's and closes his eyes. "Yeah. Sounds great."
Jared really doesn't think of himself as the jealous type.
He's dated a lot of guys who are jealous, and Jared always thought of them as immature douchebags with masculinity issues.
Okay, not all of them, but--he's always thought of himself as the guy who's secure in his relationships, trusting of his partners, all that. And he has always been that guy.
Until Jensen, anyway.
It doesn't even make fucking sense, because Jared's been dating Jensen for months, is head-over-heels in love, and knows Jensen loves him back, so he should be completely confident about everything about the two of them, but--there's this problem.
Jensen is awesome, but he's got the emotional sensitivity of a rock. Jared is fairly confident that Jensen could, with no trouble, fall in love with someone and not notice. After all, Jensen asked Google if he was in love.
Jared stares at Jensen's door.
There's nothing wrong, in fact. Jensen did a romantic gesture like a real human being, and told Jared--well, Jared's still grinning to himself a little about how Jensen totally wants to marry him.
That was the implication Jared got, anyway.
But he feels like--he feels like he should at least mention why he's jealous, because it's not inconceivable. People fall out of love. Even geniuses.
Jared opens the door.
Jensen is dozing on the couch--he's been going in to work early all week, so it's not really a surprise that he's conked out. He stirs as soon as Jared closes the door, and--it's honestly ridiculous how much Jared loves him. Like he's never loved anything else in the entire world.
"Hey," says Jensen.
"Hi," says Jared, letting himself grin like a lunatic.
"You look happy," says Jensen. "Is it because I'm not leaving you for Misha Collins?"
He makes room on the couch and Jared sits down, enjoying the way Jensen instantly relaxes against him and cuddles up.
"You believe in soulmates?" asks Jared.
Jensen wrinkles his brow. "Why?"
"Humor me."
"Statistically, I doubt there's just one person for everyone. I figure there's--I don't know. More? I never really cared enough to do the math." He ducks his head. "I figure there are a lot of people who could love you forever."
Jared laughs.
"But you, uh--you might be the only one who could love me," Jensen admits.
Jared jostles him a little. "Dude, self esteem much?"
"I'm difficult."
"You know you're really hot, right?" asks Jared.
He really is. Jared's always thought so--even when he was always in the superhero t-shirts and plaid pants--but now he wears jeans sometimes, and Jared makes him go running so he's getting in better shape and his shirts are fitting a little tighter, and Jensen's definitely the kind of guy who can turn heads. The fact that he hasn't noticed seems to make him hotter.
Jensen shrugs. "You like me," he says, as if nothing else matters. Which, to Jensen, it doesn't. Jared feels squirmy inside when he remembers this--he doesn't know what to do with it, sometimes.
"Someone else might like you too, someday," says Jared. "Someone--someone who's hot and fun and actually knows what you're talking about when you talk about work."
There's a pause, and Jensen picks up Jared's hand and idly plays with it. He does this mostly when he thinks Jared's upset, or when he's upset and wants Jared to think he's not. Jared doesn't know which one it is this time, but he likes the casual affection.
Finally, Jensen says, "You listen to me."
Jared wants to ask, but he doesn't want to interrupt. Jensen will probably explain.
"You listen, even though you don't know what it means. And you--god, Jared. I don't need a boyfriend who can dissect my research. I've got guys who do that at work, and online, and in journals. I just--I want to come home to someone who--" he snorts. "Actually, no. I want to come home to you."
Jared's grin is back, and he knows it, and he can't wipe it off his face.
"You want to marry me someday?" he asks. He's not sure, as he says it, if he's proposing or just asking. If Jensen says yes, he'll do it again later, properly. Even though Jensen won't understand why.
Jensen wrinkles his nose. "I don't like marriage much," he admits. "But I guess if you want to."
Jared laughs. "Just to make me happy."
"Yeah," says Jensen, like it's obvious.
"God," says Jared, "I love you."
"Yeah." Jensen settles against his shoulder more firmly, finds the remote and flips on the TV. "Discovery Channel okay?" he asks.
Jared leans his head against Jensen's and closes his eyes. "Yeah. Sounds great."