this probably doesn't deserve its own post
The Boy Is Mine (previously untitled)
Uh--Jensen/Danneel? Jensen/Jared? And some Jared/Danneel. Whatever, it's a total crack fic. From blindfold_spn, originally posted here. 441 words, PG-13, swearing, fighting, crack.
Prompt: Jared and Danneel bitch slapping each other over Jensen. Lots of hair pulling and insults.
So once upon a time there was this dude named Jensen Ackles, who was so dreamy that women loved him and men wanted to be him, and sometimes the reverse was also true, depending on the sexualities and preferences of those involved.
Jensen's best friend with whom he had mad chemistry was this guy named Jared, who was tall and also very dreamy, and his girlfriend was a gorgeous girl named Danneel who was less tall but had an awesome ass and great boobs, which was four points in her favor (count 'em).
Anyway, Danneel and Jared sometimes felt they both filled the same role in Jensen's life--that is, they were both super hot and liked humping his leg when they were bored and horny, and after many years of tension (both sexual and otherwise) their issues boiled over, like a vinegar and baking soda volcano of repressed animosity.
Danneel was like, "Bitch, he will never love you like he loves me!" and Jared was all, "Oh no you di'n't!" He wanted to slap Danneel, because he had always dreamed of having a slap fight, but he was waaaaaaaay too much of a gentleman to slap her first.
"You better check yourself before you wreck yourself!" Danneel exclaimed, and slapped Jared in the face and it. was. ON.
Jared slapped her back, and was like, "Oh, it's already been wrought!"
Danneel was all, "What, wrought? That is so not the past participle of wreck, bee-yotch."
"Oh, whatever, my mama is an English teacher!"
"Your mama likes my tongue in her ass!"
Jared gasped. "My mama is a saint!"
"My football team is the Saints!"
And Jared was all like Damn, because that was true, and he got burned. So he yanked her hair.
Jensen, recognizing where this was going because he was Genre Savvy, jumped in his car and drove to the store to buy a kiddie pool and a shitload of jello, and then he went back home and made the jello and filled the pool with it, and by the time he got back, Jared was down his shirt and Danneel was just in her panties, and Jensen shoved the kiddie pool behind them, so when Jared was like, "My cock is bigger than yours!" and Danneel was like "God I hope so!" and grabbed his arm, they both fell into the kiddie pool and got totally covered in jello, and then they figured they might as well start making out, and Jensen was like :D :D :D :D
And it was a happy ending for everyone, THE END.
Uh--Jensen/Danneel? Jensen/Jared? And some Jared/Danneel. Whatever, it's a total crack fic. From blindfold_spn, originally posted here. 441 words, PG-13, swearing, fighting, crack.
Prompt: Jared and Danneel bitch slapping each other over Jensen. Lots of hair pulling and insults.
So once upon a time there was this dude named Jensen Ackles, who was so dreamy that women loved him and men wanted to be him, and sometimes the reverse was also true, depending on the sexualities and preferences of those involved.
Jensen's best friend with whom he had mad chemistry was this guy named Jared, who was tall and also very dreamy, and his girlfriend was a gorgeous girl named Danneel who was less tall but had an awesome ass and great boobs, which was four points in her favor (count 'em).
Anyway, Danneel and Jared sometimes felt they both filled the same role in Jensen's life--that is, they were both super hot and liked humping his leg when they were bored and horny, and after many years of tension (both sexual and otherwise) their issues boiled over, like a vinegar and baking soda volcano of repressed animosity.
Danneel was like, "Bitch, he will never love you like he loves me!" and Jared was all, "Oh no you di'n't!" He wanted to slap Danneel, because he had always dreamed of having a slap fight, but he was waaaaaaaay too much of a gentleman to slap her first.
"You better check yourself before you wreck yourself!" Danneel exclaimed, and slapped Jared in the face and it. was. ON.
Jared slapped her back, and was like, "Oh, it's already been wrought!"
Danneel was all, "What, wrought? That is so not the past participle of wreck, bee-yotch."
"Oh, whatever, my mama is an English teacher!"
"Your mama likes my tongue in her ass!"
Jared gasped. "My mama is a saint!"
"My football team is the Saints!"
And Jared was all like Damn, because that was true, and he got burned. So he yanked her hair.
Jensen, recognizing where this was going because he was Genre Savvy, jumped in his car and drove to the store to buy a kiddie pool and a shitload of jello, and then he went back home and made the jello and filled the pool with it, and by the time he got back, Jared was down his shirt and Danneel was just in her panties, and Jensen shoved the kiddie pool behind them, so when Jared was like, "My cock is bigger than yours!" and Danneel was like "God I hope so!" and grabbed his arm, they both fell into the kiddie pool and got totally covered in jello, and then they figured they might as well start making out, and Jensen was like :D :D :D :D
And it was a happy ending for everyone, THE END.