(no subject)
Watching BBT tonight, I remembered that I had written this ficlet for the Accentuate the Positive meme and never mentioned it here or anything, and I reread it and still liked it, so I figured I'd post it up.
The Intimacy Argument
Big Bang Theory, gen (Sheldon, Penny, Leonard, mentions of Amy), idk probably like 300 words. Sheldon explains things to Penny.
Penny doesn't get it.
"I don't get it!" she says.
"It's Sheldon," says Leonard. "What's to get?"
"Don't you ever want to cuddle someone by a fire on a cold winter night?" asks Penny.
"No, and I resent your implication," says Sheldon. "Furthermore, may I remind you that we live in Pasadena, where even the coldest winter night does not traditionally necessitate huddling together for warmth."
"Not for warmth, for--companionship! Fun. Hell, maybe you'll get laid."
"Sheldon doesn't get laid," Leonard interjects. "Or get near fire."
"Fire kills, Leonard."
"Don't you ever want to be close to someone, Sheldon?" asks Penny.
"No. Why would I?"
"Because it's enjoyable."
"No it isn't."
"Don't you enjoy spending time with Amy?"
"Yes."
"Wouldn't you like to be closer to her?"
"Physical proximity has very little to do with it. Assuming that we could work around timezones, she could be practically anywhere."
"Just give up," says Leonard.
"But I don't get it!"
"And I don't understand why you think simulating reproduction--with the specific goal of not reproducing--makes a relationship superior to one based on a genuine intellectual and personal connection between peers."
Penny considers. "You know, that actually makes sense."
"Of course it does. The exchange of fluids does not instantly create intimacy."
"Depends on the fluids," says Penny. "Get a few shots in me and I am everybody's best friend."
"Yes, well. If you'll excuse me, I have an appointment to chat with Amy."
Penny opens her mouth to tell him he has a date, but reconsiders. "Well, have fun."
Sheldon looks pleasantly surprised. "I will. Thank you."
"Isn't it nice to see him happy?" Penny asks Leonard.
"Howard thinks it's the fourth sign of the apocalypse," says Leonard.
"Well, yeah," says Penny. "But in a cute way."
The Intimacy Argument
Big Bang Theory, gen (Sheldon, Penny, Leonard, mentions of Amy), idk probably like 300 words. Sheldon explains things to Penny.
Penny doesn't get it.
"I don't get it!" she says.
"It's Sheldon," says Leonard. "What's to get?"
"Don't you ever want to cuddle someone by a fire on a cold winter night?" asks Penny.
"No, and I resent your implication," says Sheldon. "Furthermore, may I remind you that we live in Pasadena, where even the coldest winter night does not traditionally necessitate huddling together for warmth."
"Not for warmth, for--companionship! Fun. Hell, maybe you'll get laid."
"Sheldon doesn't get laid," Leonard interjects. "Or get near fire."
"Fire kills, Leonard."
"Don't you ever want to be close to someone, Sheldon?" asks Penny.
"No. Why would I?"
"Because it's enjoyable."
"No it isn't."
"Don't you enjoy spending time with Amy?"
"Yes."
"Wouldn't you like to be closer to her?"
"Physical proximity has very little to do with it. Assuming that we could work around timezones, she could be practically anywhere."
"Just give up," says Leonard.
"But I don't get it!"
"And I don't understand why you think simulating reproduction--with the specific goal of not reproducing--makes a relationship superior to one based on a genuine intellectual and personal connection between peers."
Penny considers. "You know, that actually makes sense."
"Of course it does. The exchange of fluids does not instantly create intimacy."
"Depends on the fluids," says Penny. "Get a few shots in me and I am everybody's best friend."
"Yes, well. If you'll excuse me, I have an appointment to chat with Amy."
Penny opens her mouth to tell him he has a date, but reconsiders. "Well, have fun."
Sheldon looks pleasantly surprised. "I will. Thank you."
"Isn't it nice to see him happy?" Penny asks Leonard.
"Howard thinks it's the fourth sign of the apocalypse," says Leonard.
"Well, yeah," says Penny. "But in a cute way."