this verse is just kind of weird, whatevs.
So I've been tooling around with a lot of random shit from the Natalie 'verse. Pretty soon I'm gonna write about the first time Jared and Jensen have sex, and maybe their first Christmas, but instead here is the MOST RANDOM THING EVER. That is, Jared promoting a book on The Daily Show, about three years after the Childhood is the Kingdom.
YEAH. This is what happens when I am bored at work. I fantasize about Jared Padalecki writing a book and chatting about it with Jon Stewart. WHAT OF IT.
Jon Stewart: All right everybody, my guest today, my daughter's favorite actor, he's recently written a book called Rubber Ducky Has Two Daddies: Homosexuality in Children's Television, ladies and gentlemen, Jared Padalecki!
Jared Padalecki: Hi!
JS: Hi.
JP: Hi.
JS: Okay, let's cut right to the chase: are Bert and Ernie gay?
JP: [laughs] Wow, start off with the easy one.
JS: It's a hot-button issue. Debate has been raging.
JP: I know.
JS: And a title like that, you really put yourself out there as an expert.
JP: Well, I did a lot of research.
JS: Did you also consider "Gary the Snail Is Owned by Two Male Undersea Invertebrates?"
JP: I didn't, but if I ever write another book, I'm gonna get you to pick the title.
JS: Well, that's very kind of you. So, the book is facts about homosexuality in other shows interspersed with autobiography about your experience as an out actor in children's TV, correct?
JP: Wow, it's like you read it.
JS: I work very hard to create that illusion, yes.
JP: Anyway, yeah. There was kind of a brouhaha a few years back with me coming out while I was on the Disney Channel.
JS: My children watched that show.
JP: Were there a lot of awkward conversations? Because a lot of people wanted me to think there were.
JS: There actually were, just because all the pictures they had of you for a while were of you and your partner shopping together, and--and I mean no disrespect here--they were some of the least homoerotic pictures I'd ever seen.
JP: [laughs]
JS: So it was like, "Daddy, what does gay mean?" and I'm sitting there, looking at these pictures, going, "Well, when a man and another man love each other very much, sometimes they go to the cereal aisle together."
JP: That's exactly what gay sex is.
JS: And that's actually one of the main points of your book, is that the kind of homosexuality that is most threatening to conservative audiences is the very domestic, family-based homosexuality that you see in those pictures.
JP: Or in--well, my favorite example there is the TV show "Postcards From Buster," which is a spin-off of the "Arthur" TV show. And they were criticized very strongly for showing a family in Vermont with two mothers--just showing a girl talking about having a mom and a stepmom.
JS: I remember that, yes.
JP: And the thing is--so much of anti-gay propaganda is based on how homosexuality is unnatural and destroying the family, so when you see something like that, where the gay family is just like any other family, it's very threatening. I took my daughters to the Kids Choice Awards with me and you'd think I started a riot.
JS: Why couldn't you just be snorting coke off a male hooker like a decent homosexual?
JP: That was actually what I did at the Teen Choice Awards.
JS: They do cater to an older audience. So you talk about this in the book some, but for the folks at home--you were written out of your show after you came out, and I know at the time a lot of people expected you to sue. Legally, what happened there?
JP: What happened was that I had a discretion clause in my contract, and they couldn't prove I broke that, because--least homoerotic pictures ever taken, right? So they weren't able to fire me. But they didn't have to renew my contract, and it was impossible to prove that the reason they didn't was that I was gay.
JS: Even though it was really, really obvious.
JP: Exactly. They actually cut several people there, and took the show in the new direction.
JS: Did you know that your leaving is commonly cited as when that show jumped the shark?
JP: I didn't, but that's awesome.
JS: Now, you're acting on Nickelodeon now, right?
JP: Yeah, Dan Schneider liked me from "Lucy Gander" and I think he wanted to show the Disney Channel he was better than them, maybe? I don't know, but I'm really happy to have the job, it's a great show.
JS: And what made you decide to write a book? I mean, this is a real book. It has all kinds of footnotes.
JP: Those are all Jensen, seriously. He went to college and everything. But I was really interested in looking at the kinds of reactions that had come from--even alleged homosexuality. It's nuts.
JS: So if you could have people take one message away from this, what would it be?
JP: Talk to your kids about homosexuality. We don't bite.
JS: You are just shattering stereotypes left and right. Finally, we've got a vote coming up for finally legalizing gay marriage in California, anything you want to say in support?
JP: Well, I proposed to my boyfriend last week and he said if the legislation goes through he'll marry me, so I'd really love it if y'all helped us out.
JS: That's great to hear, and I wish you the best of luck. The book is Rubber Ducky Has Two Daddies, in bookstores on Monday--Jared Padalecki, everybody!
YEAH. This is what happens when I am bored at work. I fantasize about Jared Padalecki writing a book and chatting about it with Jon Stewart. WHAT OF IT.
Jon Stewart: All right everybody, my guest today, my daughter's favorite actor, he's recently written a book called Rubber Ducky Has Two Daddies: Homosexuality in Children's Television, ladies and gentlemen, Jared Padalecki!
Jared Padalecki: Hi!
JS: Hi.
JP: Hi.
JS: Okay, let's cut right to the chase: are Bert and Ernie gay?
JP: [laughs] Wow, start off with the easy one.
JS: It's a hot-button issue. Debate has been raging.
JP: I know.
JS: And a title like that, you really put yourself out there as an expert.
JP: Well, I did a lot of research.
JS: Did you also consider "Gary the Snail Is Owned by Two Male Undersea Invertebrates?"
JP: I didn't, but if I ever write another book, I'm gonna get you to pick the title.
JS: Well, that's very kind of you. So, the book is facts about homosexuality in other shows interspersed with autobiography about your experience as an out actor in children's TV, correct?
JP: Wow, it's like you read it.
JS: I work very hard to create that illusion, yes.
JP: Anyway, yeah. There was kind of a brouhaha a few years back with me coming out while I was on the Disney Channel.
JS: My children watched that show.
JP: Were there a lot of awkward conversations? Because a lot of people wanted me to think there were.
JS: There actually were, just because all the pictures they had of you for a while were of you and your partner shopping together, and--and I mean no disrespect here--they were some of the least homoerotic pictures I'd ever seen.
JP: [laughs]
JS: So it was like, "Daddy, what does gay mean?" and I'm sitting there, looking at these pictures, going, "Well, when a man and another man love each other very much, sometimes they go to the cereal aisle together."
JP: That's exactly what gay sex is.
JS: And that's actually one of the main points of your book, is that the kind of homosexuality that is most threatening to conservative audiences is the very domestic, family-based homosexuality that you see in those pictures.
JP: Or in--well, my favorite example there is the TV show "Postcards From Buster," which is a spin-off of the "Arthur" TV show. And they were criticized very strongly for showing a family in Vermont with two mothers--just showing a girl talking about having a mom and a stepmom.
JS: I remember that, yes.
JP: And the thing is--so much of anti-gay propaganda is based on how homosexuality is unnatural and destroying the family, so when you see something like that, where the gay family is just like any other family, it's very threatening. I took my daughters to the Kids Choice Awards with me and you'd think I started a riot.
JS: Why couldn't you just be snorting coke off a male hooker like a decent homosexual?
JP: That was actually what I did at the Teen Choice Awards.
JS: They do cater to an older audience. So you talk about this in the book some, but for the folks at home--you were written out of your show after you came out, and I know at the time a lot of people expected you to sue. Legally, what happened there?
JP: What happened was that I had a discretion clause in my contract, and they couldn't prove I broke that, because--least homoerotic pictures ever taken, right? So they weren't able to fire me. But they didn't have to renew my contract, and it was impossible to prove that the reason they didn't was that I was gay.
JS: Even though it was really, really obvious.
JP: Exactly. They actually cut several people there, and took the show in the new direction.
JS: Did you know that your leaving is commonly cited as when that show jumped the shark?
JP: I didn't, but that's awesome.
JS: Now, you're acting on Nickelodeon now, right?
JP: Yeah, Dan Schneider liked me from "Lucy Gander" and I think he wanted to show the Disney Channel he was better than them, maybe? I don't know, but I'm really happy to have the job, it's a great show.
JS: And what made you decide to write a book? I mean, this is a real book. It has all kinds of footnotes.
JP: Those are all Jensen, seriously. He went to college and everything. But I was really interested in looking at the kinds of reactions that had come from--even alleged homosexuality. It's nuts.
JS: So if you could have people take one message away from this, what would it be?
JP: Talk to your kids about homosexuality. We don't bite.
JS: You are just shattering stereotypes left and right. Finally, we've got a vote coming up for finally legalizing gay marriage in California, anything you want to say in support?
JP: Well, I proposed to my boyfriend last week and he said if the legislation goes through he'll marry me, so I'd really love it if y'all helped us out.
JS: That's great to hear, and I wish you the best of luck. The book is Rubber Ducky Has Two Daddies, in bookstores on Monday--Jared Padalecki, everybody!