Friday, October 1 - Columbia Falls, MT
Bear Management
My sister Heather is a wildlife biologist who specializes in grizzly bears. Each summer season, she and her husband Derek contract with the state of Montana as part of a bear management program. They monitor the grizzly activity in and around the area and for those “naughty bears” who are finding food in people’s garages/kitchens, they trap them, collar them, and relocate them to wilderness areas. Sometimes other bears wander into the trap lines so they get tagged and collared as well, so much of my sister’s work includes monitoring the well-being and health of ALL the bears that summer in northern Montana.
To quote the very impressive non-profit organization Vital Ground: “To many scientists and conservationists, grizzly bears are viewed as a barometer of an ecosystem's health. Grizzlies are known as an umbrella or keystone species, terms that refer to the grizzly's functional role within its ecosystem. The foraging behavior of a umbrella or keystone species creates a top-down effect on many other species lower in the food chain, such as ungulates, rodents, fish, insects or plant life. If the grizzly population is healthy and strong, so are these other populations from big game to native fish. Conversely, a faltering, fragmented grizzly population spells certain hardship for other wildlife, many species of which are positively affected by and dependent on the bear's activity.”
So Heather helps grizzlies find their way back into the wild, and therefore makes the world - literally - a better place.
I work for a bank.
NYC to Kalispell
Despite the threats of a tropical depression delaying flights out of NYC Thursday evening, Mike and I flew without delay from Newark to SLC to Kalispell, where my sister and her husband met us at the lovely, tiny Kalispell airport and drove us to their home. We said hello to their four Karliean Bear Dogs: Fancy, Usko, Orca, and Sputnik, and promptly went to sleep.
Snare Alert
On Friday morning the four of us were enjoying our coffee and breakfast when the call came through: one of their snares was transmitting a signal. “It might be nothing,” said Heather, “But we have to go check.” So we quickly got dressed, loaded up the two state trucks with gear, Orca, Sputnick, Derek and Mike in one truck and Heather and me in another. It was a stunning day in Montana - big, blue sky - orange and yellow trees (though “peak” foliage had passed) - and sparkling waters of Swan Lake, where the snare had been set. The goal of this particular snare was to capture “Mark”, a troublesome grizzly that was breaking into local garage and needed to be relocated far into the wilderness. They set the snare on the property of one of his conquests, where he tore out a door leading into the garage to get to the food. Mark is a Naughty Bear. Though we didn’t know what we would find we were excited to get a taste of Heather and Derek’s daily job. I’ve lived vicariously through her “Bear Stories” journals for years and was ready to get some hands-on experience.
The boys, loaded up. With guns.
Hay bale fire on the side of the road
Volunteer fireman and Big Sky Country
Swan Lake
We pulled into the property and drove around the back, where Heather slowed until she could view the snare site from a distance. She and Derek talked back and forth on the radio,
Heather: “We’ve got a bear. Looks like a grizzly.”
Derek: “She’s a big one.”
Heather: “Probably 400.” That’s pounds, people.
I, meanwhile, am snapping photos like a fool. My heart was beating with excitement. We’d been in Montana for not even twelve hours and already we had A GRIZZLY!
Grizzly Prep
“Processing” a grizzly is serious business, so let’s cover what that means. The biologists (in this case Heather and her trusty aide Derek) tranquilize the bear and quickly move it into the shade where they can gather its hair for DNA, blood for health tests, measurements for identification, and then they will collar it so they can track it for some period of time until the collar is scheduled to fall off. Yes, despite what many people may think, a grizzly that gets collared doesn’t live their whole lives with that collar. But for the season in which the collar stays one, biologists get amazing information about the travel habits of bears.
Heather, prepping the tranquilizer
Derek, loading the dart into the tranq gun
Me, ammo'ed up with bear spray
Onto the bear… once Heather and Derek got the tranquilizer ready to go, they secured Mike and me safely in the other truck, bear-spray in hand. “Keep the windows up, and do NOT get out of truck until we call you.” Yes ma’am. We sat at a distance and waited for the tranquilizer to take effect and for Heather and Derek to ensure that the bear was nicely sleeping, then we got called in.
Grizzly Processing
This bear wasn’t Mark, the one they’ve been trying to catch, but he was a beautiful grizzly Heather estimated to be about 7 years old. She put eye drops in his eyes and covered them with a cloth so they would stay lubricated. Then we rolled him onto a tarp and positioned him on his stomach - not an easy task with a 350-400 pound grizzly but somehow satisfying that we could make him a little more comfortable.
Positioning the grizzly
The grizzly
Grizzly, 2.5" claws
Heather, processing the bear
While Heather and Derek busied themselves with biologist stuff, I was assigned The Most Important Job of All: monitoring the grizzly’s temperature. This is critical because grizzlies can’t maintain their internal thermostat when under the tranquilizer so we must keep them cool and comfortable. As soon as I saw his temperature increase by a few tenths of a degree, all measuring and processing stopped so we could roll him onto his side and Mike could pour gallons of cool water on his belly. The impact on his temp was immediate.
This is all very glamorous and fabulous, right? What I didn’t mention is HOW I monitored the grizzly’s temperature. Using a normal drugstore thermometer. Up the bear’s bum. And this may surprise you, but grizzlies don’t use toilet paper so let’s just say I was glad we were wearing gloves.
The Most Important Job
It Takes a Village
Ew.
I also measured the different lengths of his paws (6” in some places) and his claws (2.5”!) which was all very impressive and humbling since I - a mere human - can barely get my flimsy nails to open a can of soda. When Heather and Derek had gathered all the appropriate data we stopped for a few quick pictures:
Mike, Heidi , and the bear
Heidi and the bear
Then we loaded the grizzly, now named “Bob the Bear”, into the culvert trap so the tranquilizer could be reversed and Bob could wake up. I’d like to stop for a moment here and set the stage: four people. One 400 pound bear. The tarp upon which Bob snoozed was specially designed with sturdy handles so we could lift and move him, but there was nothing easy about it. He was HEAVY. And one person (Derek, because he’s done this before) had to climb into the culvert ahead of Bob so he could pull Bob in while we pushed. This is sweaty, dirty, messy work, friends. Nothing clean about it!
Derek and Bob in the culvert
Mike, keeping Bob cool
Me, taking one last temp
Once Bob was safely in the culvert, dumped with more water to cool him down, temperature continuously monitored to maintain a safe level, Heather gave him the reversing drug and securely shut the door. We waited, cleaning up the site and setting another snare and cameras in case Mark wandered through again. It doesn’t take long for a grizzly to come out of the tranquilizer so soon Bob was awake a looking around, no doubt wondering how he ended up in a bed full of straw. He was a very calm, zen-like grizzly who looked at us with curious eyes.
Bob, checking out his new digs
The aftermath
Oxygen, heartrate, and collar tracker
Heather, putting tying up loose ends
Orca and Sputnik, out for stroll
Sputnik posing... Heather in the background
Mike, cleaning up and hauling around dead deer legs (aka "bait")
Mike gets some puppy time
Just hanging out... shooting the breeze... right next to a woken-up grizzly
Bob On the Go
Once Heather felt he was okay to travel, we loaded up the trucks and drove Bob to a safer site where he would stay the night and the head biologist, Tim, could monitor him closely. Turns out that traveling with a bear in culvert trap is serious business too. The truck hauling the culvert leads and the other follows closely behind because “otherwise we’ll get tailgaters who want to have a look”. That makes sense, since we were the second truck and it was pretty obvious there was a large bear inside. Imagine if a station-wagon filled family got behind the culvert for a good look and somehow an accident happened. Needless to say, we kept a safe distance behind and ensured that all was well.
On the road
The definition of irony: a truck filled with tranquilizer guns, biologist gear, photography equipment, and a snakeskin designer bag
Also: NO BATHROOM BREAKS. Bob the Bear has had enough stress without pulling over at a gas station where dozens of curious onlookers want to peer into the culvert and take his picture. His emotional well-being was our most critical focus. That, and getting him safely to his evening accommodations, a peaceful, quiet, shady spot in an apple-filled orchard. There he would stay in the culvert under the watchful eye of the head biologist. The next day he would be released back into the wild.
Bob’s Hotel
Even after an hour’s drive Bob was still a calm, zen-like grizzly. He gazed at us with quiet eyes and joyously rejoiced when we loaded him with water from hose. He didn’t love being watered all over - he just wanted the water in his snout so he could lap it up endlessly. Such a lovely, good bear.
Bob, slurping up water
Just for comparison, Derek's picture of Bob slurping water. Same bear. Same position. Totally different pictures.
Big Sky Country - and a pretty tree
Apple Tree
Heather and Derek
A Hard-Earned Dinner
After a shower and some downtime on the couch, we headed out for a well-earned dinner of ribs at The Back Room. This is a local joint in Columbia Falls that specializes in fabulous ribs and - wait for it - FRIED BREAD. I’m not ashamed to admit that after I consumed my baby back ribs I then attacked the entire piece of fried bread because, well, it was like eating an entire doughnut without the glaze. Mike had the “combo platter” that gave him all three types of ribs. Plus fried bread. Really, seriously good. The margaritas on ice didn’t hurt, either.
After stuffing ourselves silly on meat and fried bread, we mosied (because we’re in Montana, so we mosy) over to The Blue Moon, a local honky tonk. There was everything you wanted: cowboy hats, boots, pool table, a stuffed bear and mountain lion, and a huge stage for the country and western band to play. We ordered a round of beverages, commented on the various stuffed animals (and by “stuffed animals”, I mean animals that were stuffed), and then decided we were too tired to wait for the live music to start. Lame? Or just exhausted from a day of catching grizzlies? Well, when you catch a grizzly you let me know.
An aside - a round of drinks at the Blue Moon: two beers + a cosmopolitan + and a shot of whiskey = $12. That’s what I would pay for a glass of wine in any NYC bar. I’m totally moving here.