(no subject)
arg i hardly ever update this anymore.
im not really good at expressing my feelings and shit in a journal. im more verbal.
hmmm....so whats new with me?....
nothing is ever new. its the same old shit in the same old town.
i gotta touch up my tattoos soon...theres some parts where i kinda moved or the color didnt stay good...i just need some freakin money!!
im wicked bored!!!! its only 1am...dan wasnt feeling so great tonight so we didnt go out...im not used to being home. im usually out till all hours of the early morning. i dunno what to do with myself.
i love dan so much. yah i know everyone knows that blah blah blah...but i really do. i never knew what love was untill i meet dan. ive seriously never meet anyone like him before. hes soo different from everyone ive ever dated and i love it. its so hard to explain...but hes the sweetest guy in the world. he'll do anything for me.
thats why i dont understand why im so possessive of him. im scared i guess. most of my other relationships ended because they found someone better than me, and im scared its gonna happen again. i feel bad tho. we always fight when he wants to go to johns or hangout with his friends without me. i can totally understand that..he needs his guy time. im just scared. i know of many girls that like him and have tried to do shit with him...even tho they KNOW me and him are going out. i dont want anything to happen. its not that i dont trust him...cuz i do! its just that i dont trust other girls. the girls he works with are such sluts and are always all over him...i dont like that. i guess thats why i always wanna know what hes doing all the time. and i know im just gonna drive him away if i keep doing it. we had a really nice talk last night about it. see thats what i love about our relationships...we may fight more than usual...but they last like 5 mins and we always end up talking shit out and then everyones happy. we've never had a major fight.
yah so we talked about stuff last night and he made me feel a lot better. he told me that all those girls...he cant stand em and hes known them way before i came along and he had many chances with them, but he decided to wait to get his life in order b4 being with a girl and he wanted to wait for someone special...and he said that someone was me. when he meet me he knew i was the one. he picked me over all those girls. and thats who hes gonna be and stay with.
god i love that boy.
im gonna start to change. i guess im insecure about myself...im afraid im not good enough. im gonna change. ive been trying real hard to be good. *sigh* we'll see what happens. cuz i cant lose him. i love him too much.
wow this is long...and ive been ranting...i guess i needed to get it out. i havent talked to anyone in a while.
good night
im not really good at expressing my feelings and shit in a journal. im more verbal.
hmmm....so whats new with me?....
nothing is ever new. its the same old shit in the same old town.
i gotta touch up my tattoos soon...theres some parts where i kinda moved or the color didnt stay good...i just need some freakin money!!
im wicked bored!!!! its only 1am...dan wasnt feeling so great tonight so we didnt go out...im not used to being home. im usually out till all hours of the early morning. i dunno what to do with myself.
i love dan so much. yah i know everyone knows that blah blah blah...but i really do. i never knew what love was untill i meet dan. ive seriously never meet anyone like him before. hes soo different from everyone ive ever dated and i love it. its so hard to explain...but hes the sweetest guy in the world. he'll do anything for me.
thats why i dont understand why im so possessive of him. im scared i guess. most of my other relationships ended because they found someone better than me, and im scared its gonna happen again. i feel bad tho. we always fight when he wants to go to johns or hangout with his friends without me. i can totally understand that..he needs his guy time. im just scared. i know of many girls that like him and have tried to do shit with him...even tho they KNOW me and him are going out. i dont want anything to happen. its not that i dont trust him...cuz i do! its just that i dont trust other girls. the girls he works with are such sluts and are always all over him...i dont like that. i guess thats why i always wanna know what hes doing all the time. and i know im just gonna drive him away if i keep doing it. we had a really nice talk last night about it. see thats what i love about our relationships...we may fight more than usual...but they last like 5 mins and we always end up talking shit out and then everyones happy. we've never had a major fight.
yah so we talked about stuff last night and he made me feel a lot better. he told me that all those girls...he cant stand em and hes known them way before i came along and he had many chances with them, but he decided to wait to get his life in order b4 being with a girl and he wanted to wait for someone special...and he said that someone was me. when he meet me he knew i was the one. he picked me over all those girls. and thats who hes gonna be and stay with.
god i love that boy.
im gonna start to change. i guess im insecure about myself...im afraid im not good enough. im gonna change. ive been trying real hard to be good. *sigh* we'll see what happens. cuz i cant lose him. i love him too much.
wow this is long...and ive been ranting...i guess i needed to get it out. i havent talked to anyone in a while.
good night