Well, I'm an idiot...
...It took me loosing my entry two times, due to being disconnected, when my cousin told me to just word process it first. So, I’ll try to recap what I was trying to get through, though I know that whoever is reading is most likely thinking that there really is no need to type this frustration and that I should just get on with the entry. But you know what I say to those who think that… ‘I’m reading you’re thoughts.’ So, on I go…
To start things off, again, my son’s mom has managed to postpone her destiny of being a mother once more. For the past month I have been getting myself ready emotionally to help move my son back to Texas to live with his mother for the next year. I had been so unstable that I made a small scene at my brother’s civil service when I just got fed up with my dad giving me dirty fucking looks because my son was acting up. I mean my dad was turning bright fucking red. He would turn around in his pew, grabbing at his chin as if he were ready to pull his face off. I should have been, ‘rip your fucking face off see what I care.’ But I don’t know what the hell came over me, I just left. And I don’t mean like I just waited outside for the ceremony to end, I mean I just fucking left. I guess that I just don’t do that good at weddings. (Read one of my first entries and you’ll find out.) So, I left without telling anyone, which was really messed up, but I rather had done that then deck my dad in the face…
Yeah, so the effects of single-parenting have began to take there toll on me but in a strange way this energy that I was feeling when I had thought that my son was leaving, is being transferred into something good, I guess. This whole week I was going to spend more personal time with my son, take him out of school, to the park everyday, wake up early and cook breakfast for him, (My mom would usually take care of him n the morning,) But this would be our week together. So, yesterday I took him to the park, played with all the kids and mean all of them, made friends, took a nap together, all in all it was what I was expecting. That is until I talked with his mom that night. She called up and the normal routine would happen, she’d try to talk to Jonas, he’d run away, and I’d tell her how his day went. Well, I did all of this and when I was done she started to wrap up the phone call. I was like “Um, well, did you get the plane tickets?” (The deal was for her to buy the tickets and for me to fly out there because she owes me money. Fair enough, right?) Her reply was, “No, maybe at the end of the month.” Maybe at the end of the month?!!! She didn’t bother telling me this sooner or even mentioning it herself in the conversation. She would have been better off if I hadn’t mention it at all, like if I would have forgotten that my son was leaving me.
So, I laid into her a little and hung up the phone before I said anything that my mom could hear, and my son, for that matter. And that’s how that goes. If she wants him she can come out here and get him herself.
Yeah… I kind of got side tracked there, heh, heh. I guess that happens when you’re pissed off at someone. But what I was going to say was that since I had this week planed out to go to the park everyday and act like it was the summer of 1986 again, I might as well do that everyday.
So, on the lighter side of life, I have finished my first actual drawing that I want to use my ‘Long Legged Daddy” story! I’m really excited about it. This was a story I started months ago and I recently started it up again to help me cope with my present situation… so far, so good. I just wish that my computer was working so that I can get the drawings up. I’ll probably to that this weekend. Anyway… narf!
To start things off, again, my son’s mom has managed to postpone her destiny of being a mother once more. For the past month I have been getting myself ready emotionally to help move my son back to Texas to live with his mother for the next year. I had been so unstable that I made a small scene at my brother’s civil service when I just got fed up with my dad giving me dirty fucking looks because my son was acting up. I mean my dad was turning bright fucking red. He would turn around in his pew, grabbing at his chin as if he were ready to pull his face off. I should have been, ‘rip your fucking face off see what I care.’ But I don’t know what the hell came over me, I just left. And I don’t mean like I just waited outside for the ceremony to end, I mean I just fucking left. I guess that I just don’t do that good at weddings. (Read one of my first entries and you’ll find out.) So, I left without telling anyone, which was really messed up, but I rather had done that then deck my dad in the face…
Yeah, so the effects of single-parenting have began to take there toll on me but in a strange way this energy that I was feeling when I had thought that my son was leaving, is being transferred into something good, I guess. This whole week I was going to spend more personal time with my son, take him out of school, to the park everyday, wake up early and cook breakfast for him, (My mom would usually take care of him n the morning,) But this would be our week together. So, yesterday I took him to the park, played with all the kids and mean all of them, made friends, took a nap together, all in all it was what I was expecting. That is until I talked with his mom that night. She called up and the normal routine would happen, she’d try to talk to Jonas, he’d run away, and I’d tell her how his day went. Well, I did all of this and when I was done she started to wrap up the phone call. I was like “Um, well, did you get the plane tickets?” (The deal was for her to buy the tickets and for me to fly out there because she owes me money. Fair enough, right?) Her reply was, “No, maybe at the end of the month.” Maybe at the end of the month?!!! She didn’t bother telling me this sooner or even mentioning it herself in the conversation. She would have been better off if I hadn’t mention it at all, like if I would have forgotten that my son was leaving me.
So, I laid into her a little and hung up the phone before I said anything that my mom could hear, and my son, for that matter. And that’s how that goes. If she wants him she can come out here and get him herself.
Yeah… I kind of got side tracked there, heh, heh. I guess that happens when you’re pissed off at someone. But what I was going to say was that since I had this week planed out to go to the park everyday and act like it was the summer of 1986 again, I might as well do that everyday.
So, on the lighter side of life, I have finished my first actual drawing that I want to use my ‘Long Legged Daddy” story! I’m really excited about it. This was a story I started months ago and I recently started it up again to help me cope with my present situation… so far, so good. I just wish that my computer was working so that I can get the drawings up. I’ll probably to that this weekend. Anyway… narf!