(no subject)
I'm not sure if i like being home. I don't know that i am felt this empty and useless in a long time. My life is so good why can't i just see that. WHen am i going to truly live? Why does this happiness and sorrow fluctuate as it does. I just want to be okay with my and life for more than a few days so i can start getting my life together for one second. Every time i believe i can do something, every time i think i can fix something- the sorrow sets in. And those hopes of fixing and making things right quickly fade into rage and anger against the person i am and the life i live. Nothing is ever constant enough to fix anything. That makes me so angry. I wish people could see how badly i want things to change. How badly i want to be able to be a normal member in society and all that entails. It just feels so hopeless sometimes.