Leave Me Alone, My Lavender Love
Title: Leave Me Alone, My Lavender Love
Authors: Jade (who does not have a LJ) and longerthanwedo
Rating: R, to be safe
Pairing: Brendon/Lavender Hoodie, Brendon/Ryan
Summary: Something from Brendon's past gains far too much control over his life, and the life of his closest "friend", Ryan. This is the sequel to Return of the Rose Vest.
Disclaimer: Yeah. It writes itself with this story, but just in case, I don't own this. Jade is mostly the owner of the plot on this one.
Author's Notes: Here it is. This one is kind of ridiculously ridiculous. But I like it...
“Why can’t you produce snug fitting clothes?” Brendon demanded glaring pointedly at his over-size closet.
“Dang it! All I ask of you is a pair of men’s jeans that compliment my womanly back side!” Brendon huffed, and threw a pair of dirty socks at his closet, which only seemed to house manly outfits. He cursed under his breath, as he tried on another one of his many flower print, western style shirts.
“TOO BAGGY!” he tore it off, and slumped into his horsey bean bag chair in defeat. “Well, Mr. Snuffles,” he told his beloved horse chair, “I guess I have nothing to wear.”
Anger seemed to overwhelm him as he glared at all the clothes scattered about his messy floor.
“GAH!” He leaped up from his floor, and in a ninja-like move of defiance, grabbed Mr. Snuffles, and body slammed the chair against his bed. He felt very triumphant as he surveyed the mess of beans thrown all over his room. He grinned, and did a little victory dance, and while he was jigging about in queer manner, he saw a crumpled purple lump sitting in the place snuffles had been.
“What’s this?” he asked himself. He nudged it with the toe of his cowboy boot, and gasped as the realization sunk in.
No…no...It can’t be! Brendon suppressed a grin as he picked up his long lost lavender hoodie.
“YES!” He hissed under his breath, over come with glee “Finally something tight enough to show off my abs!” He quickly slipped it on, savoring the cottony feel against his arms. Delicious, he thought to himself, as he checked his amazing reflection out in the mirror. Oh yes. This...this will work. He shook his apple-shaped butt about in a promiscuous manner as he snuggled up in his much missed jacket.
“That’s right….shake that butt…” The voice seemed to come out of the spacious pocket of his new found treasure.
“OK!” answered Brendon, happily shaking his groove thing, just like he was told. After doing that for a bit, he hugged himself, happy to finally have something satisfactory to wear. While feeling himself up, he noticed a strange lump on his left side. “That’s not supposed to be there…” He mumbled as he fumbled around in his pockets.
Hands in his jacket, his sensitive fingers found a small square piece of paper. He unfolded it, and realized it wasn’t a piece of paper, but photograph.
“Ryan…” He whispered suddenly over come with long suppressed emotions. It was a picture of him and Ryan, grinning, arms around each other, seemingly unaware of the camera that was snapping this perfect shot.
“Ryan…you still love Ryan, am I right?” the Jacket seemed to question him.
Brendon’s voice shook unsteadily as he answered “Yes…I do very much. But only as a brother...” His finger gently grazed over Ryan’s face, as he thought over the words he just said.
“Sure….” The jacket taunted, causing Brendon to furrow his long black eyebrows.
“What…what do you mean?” he asked, confused.
“It’s so obvious. You’re a complete fool for him. Don’t deny.”
Brendon blushed, and looked at his shoes. “No….it’s not like that. Well, not like that anymore. It used to be...” He trailed off, embarrassed, and intimidated by the presence of the jacket, and it’s strange queries about his personal life.
“Continue.” It demanded. Brendon shivered frightened.
“Well….we used…used to sort of have a thing going. Only, after ‘Pretty. Odd.’ Came out, Ryan has been acting a little queer...err…I mean straight.” Brendon mumbled, clearly uncomfortable about the way this conversation was headed.
“Change his mind.” The zipper tickled his stomach persuasively. Brendon was confused.
“How?” he asked, slightly intrigued by the hoodie’s words.
“Make him remember.” Brendon nodded. He was overcome with an odd pleasant feeling washing over his body. At first he resisted, but then after a few moments, he gave in. The jacket was right. Of course it was right. The jacket was always right. He would do as he was told.
The jacket was his master.
Brendon suddenly felt drowsy, and he laid his head down on his destroyed horse pillow, content with his plans for Ryan, and content with his newly reacquainted friend. Life is good, Brendon thought as he slowly drifted to sleep.
“No,” his hoody whispered in his ear, “Jacket is good.” Yes…yes Brendon agreed. The jacket was good.
Brendon was awoke by a soft lavender sleeve lovingly stroking his cheek. “Hmmmmm” He grumbled, and rolled over.
“Wake up” the spandex murmured.
“Yes!” Brendon shot right up in bed, with a big grin spread across his sleepy face. “What first, master?” He asked, eager to please.
“Ryan. Invite him over.” The purple hoodie seemed to whisper, touching his ears delicately with its soft cotton underside. Brendon immediately whipped out his cell phone, and hit speed dial #1.
“Hey Brendon.” Ryan answered on the first ring.
“Hey...uh…come over today.” Brendon mumbled, repeating the jackets words.
“Is that an order?” Ryan laughed into the phone.
“um…yes.”
“Uh…sure.” Ryan said, suspicion evident in his voice.
“Oh…by the way Ryan…I..uh…I love you.” Brendon stated proudly right before he hung up.
“Good. Well done, my boy. Now…let’s celebrate by destroying all your remaining clothes, and throwing a dance party!” The cotton fluffs from inside his pocket congratulated him.
“DANCE PARTY!” Brendon wiggled with excitement. Yes, he thought, I just LOVE dance parties!
“Uh-uh! First, the manner of your clothes…” The zipper hissed. Brendon nodded his head, willing to obey the jackets friendly command. He immediately stripped down to just his jacket, and threw all of his remainder clothes out the window.
He felt a kind of sick joy as he watched all his clothes flutter down to the street below. He also felt a slight breeze. He enjoyed them both quite a lot, and celebrated by shaking his groove thing to the beat, with the best dance partner in the world. His jacket. He just loved his jacket. LOVED.
Before long, Brendon heard a quiet knock on the door, and turned down the Cobra Starship, to go let Ryan in.
“Hey…um…I found this hanging on your door knob……” Ryan handed Brendon a pair of his blue whitey tighties. Brendon thanked Ryan, but shook his head, and proceeded to throw the pair out the door, over Ryan’s surprised shoulder.
“I won’t need those anymore.” Brendon stated proudly, hands on his hips.
Ryan purposely kept his eyes focused on Brendon’s upper half, as he asked “Are you sure?” Brendon nodded. Ryan shrugged, and entered the house, laughing slightly nervously.
“The plan, Brendon, stick to the plan.” the Jacket faithfully reminded him. Brendon nodded, grateful to the hoodie for getting him back on track.
“So…Ryan…I, uh. I have something to tell you…” Brendon started casually, while promiscuously lounging about on his sofa.
“What’s that, Brendon?” Ryan asked his shoes.
Brendon smiled and said “I…I think you’re beautiful.”
Ryan blushed, and looked about the room, his cheeks burning a pleasant purple color. The color, Brendon thought, reminded him of his beloved hoodie. Brendon rubbed his sleeve, happy to have his little jacket friend/master back.
“Yeah…uh…that’s nice. Brendon. Thanks.” Ryan coughed, sat down on the sofa next to Brendon, looking quite brave.
“So...uh….do you want to make out now, or what?” Brendon asked, scooting closer to Ryan. It took Ryan a few seconds to comprehend Brendon’s request. He sat there looking blank, at Brendon, his mouth wide open. Brendon took this as an invitation, and made his move.
“WOAH! WOAH! WOAH!” Ryan stood up, startled by Brendon’s gayish behavior. “What is up with you, Brendon!?” Ryan wiped his mouth on his sleeve, and shot daggers in Brendon’s direction.
“Rydon exists!” Brendon answered, not looking the least bit offended by Ryan’s rather rude behavior.
“NO, NO! Rydon died a long time ago! Rydon died with the fever! Rydon died with the r-r-rose….rose vest!” Ryan fumbled over the last part, slowly backing away from Brendon.
“Brendon?” The Jacket asked politely.
“Yes?” He answered out loud.
“Take me off, and put me on Ryan. This will make him change his mind.” Brendon nodded, and unzipped the jacket, suddenly feeling very exposed, and very naked.
After a few seconds, Brendon completely forgot what he was doing. He looked around, and he noticed Ryan, standing there staring at him oddly. Then he noticed himself, completely in the nude. “Huh.” He said, looking around, completely bewildered. “Why am I nudey, Ryan?”
Ryan shook his head, scared, and just as confused as Brendon. “I…I really don’t know Brendon.”Brendon looked at him suspiciously.
“SUUURRREEE, you don’t know you little pervert! Stop looking at me geez!” Ryan huffed then turned around.
“Well, get some clothes on!” Brendon looked around, and noticed a cute snug fitting purple hoodie lying on the ground by his feet. He slipped it on, enjoying its over-washed cottony feel. Delicious.
“BRENDON!” It hissed, scraping the metal part of its zipper against his tender chest, making him flinch.
“WHAT?!” he asked confused, and hurt by it’s cruel actions.
“THE PLAN! RYAN! GET HIM! TURN HIM GAY!” Brendon suddenly remembered.
“Oh yeah….” He sheepishly fumbled with the end of the sleeve. “My bad…”
“Hey Ryan?” Brendon asked Ryan in a quiet voice. He looked around, but his potential gay friend was nowhere to be found.
“Um…jacket? Where is my baby?” Brendon asked, looking around frantically.
“Bathroom.” The all knowing wise super jacket answered. Brendon nodded, and then headed off to barge in on Ryan on the potty.
As he barged through the unlocked door, Brendon was met by half of Ryan left dangling inside from the window sill.
“He’s escaping!” yelled the jacket in a quiet voice.
Brendon growled fiercely and grabbed Ryan’s ankles to tug him back inside.
“Jon, Jon, Jon!” Ryan screamed frantically clawing up clumps of grass in his attempt to crawl to safety. Suddenly, Ryan was lifted out of Brendon’s loving grasp by Jon Walker, the straight savior come to the rescue.
Once they were all three lifted out by a very muscley Jon, He scolded Brendon for his un-lady like behavior.
Brendon shrugged, and decided to consult the Jacket. “Jacket?” He asked, waiting for further direction.
“Jon. Get him too. Jon and Ryan. Convert them all!” Brendon nodded, and tried to catch them both in one of his trademark Brendon bear hugs, but he was rudely pushed away.
Jon and Ryan exchanged a knowing look. “It’s the jacket.” Stated the bearded wise one. “Yeah, he was talking to it earlier.” Ryan answered. “How…how do we stop him?”
Jon gulped, and stroked his beard, trying to draw strength from its hairy depths. He pulled Ryan aside, out of the jacket’s hearing range. “I’m afraid well have to pretend to be gay.”
Ryan chuckled. “Pretend?”
Jon rolled his eyes. “You know what I mean. And when I said we’ll, I meant you’ll.”
Ryan sucked in a deep breath. “If it’s the only way to get my Brendon back, then it must be done.”
“Come here, you!” Ryan ran to Brendon, and leaped into his waiting arms. They had fun with that for a while, and Brendon eventually took off his jacket, as they toppled over in the soft grass.
“Wait…what am I doing?” He asked confused.
“Nothing.” Ryan answered, fixing his hair, and zipping his pants back up.
Brendon looked around, and was startled to find himself naked, and in the arms of Ryan. “Um…Ryan?”
“Its…its nothing. Forget about it. Seriously.” Ryan chuckled, and stood up, trying to recover some of his remaining man-hood, as well as dignity and clothing.
Brendon shrugged, and began picking up his wardrobe. Jon and Ryan exchanged a relieved look.
“So…do we tell Spence?” Ryan asked Jon, picking a few leaves out of his tousled hair. “Absolutely not.” Jon answered seriously. Ryan nodded, and together they helped Brendon clean his messy lawn.
“What exactly went on here, guys? I’m a little confused.” Brendon said, shaking a few pebbles out of a pair of socks.
“Uh…nothing. You were, uh…dreaming.” Ryan mumbled, buttoning up his shirt.
“Nice dream.” Brendon commented, taking in Ryan’s disheveled appearance. Ryan blushed.
“I’m the tooth fairy. Go back to sleep.” Jon commanded, coming up behind Ryan, in his defense. Brendon shrugged, and curled up in the grass to take a nap. “Whatever you say Jon, err...I mean Fairy Jon.”
Jon sighed. “Just Jon.” Brendon nodded and closed his eyes, tired from all this excitement.
Once Brendon was safely asleep, Ryan and Jon burnt Brendon’s purple hoodie, and buried the ashes, not willing to take any more chances with possessed clothing items of the past.
And all was well in the land of the misfit boys. Well….that is…..until Spencer was rummaging through his dryer for something to wear, when he came across an odd flower shirt, with a peculiar red stain across its front…
(Dun, dun, dun!)