You'd See Me Burning, but the Burning's Turning Smokeless
Title: You’d See Me Burning, but the Burning’s Turning Smokeless
Author: longerthanwedo
Beta: melody_so_sweet
Pairing: Ryan/Brendon
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Character death
Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters, and the title and cut belong to Something Corporate.
Summary: On a dry august night, a wooden cabin somewhere south of Nevada should be sitting quietly, shades drawn. The dark velvet sky should be lit only by stars and the passing moon. The only sounds should be those of nature; wind and life.
Author’s Note: I wrote this a long time ago, but I never posted it. I figured I’d post it now, since my skating!fic is taking forever. ♥
On a dry august night, a wooden cabin somewhere south of Nevada should be sitting quietly, shades drawn. The dark velvet sky should be lit only by stars and the passing moon. The only sounds should be those of nature; wind and life.
The four occupants of the cabin should be sound asleep in their separate rooms, dreaming up songs and singing along.
There should be nothing disturbing the peace.
But on this particular dry August night the cabin is brutally awakened from its heavy sleep.
Somewhere not far away, something sparks. A literal spark, bright, glowing. A spark that should fade away into thin air. But this spark is lucky, is cunning, and finds its way to a dry leaf and it grows. A little piece of fire that quickly devours the leaf and moves and spreads to twigs, blades of dead grass, a shrub in the middle of a parched forest.
The forest begins to burn as happy sparks land in trees, on the ground, anywhere that will help the blaze expand.
The wood siding on the house calls to the fire, and suddenly the house is jumping to life. It’s crackling and screaming and burning red and orange.
When the flames burn the inside walls, Ryan wakes from his swirling sleep. He wakes and he smells smoke and his eyes and throat sting and the first thing he thinks is that he must be still dreaming.
But that theory only lasts a second because the heat is suffocating and he doesn’t think his imagination is capable of creating such a vivid feeling.
He jumps out of bed like its already burning (which it isn’t, not yet), and battles his way through the smoke and fear until he stumbles out the door, which is almost only ashes. He figures Jon and Spencer and Brendon have already escaped, he thinks he’s the last one out.
But outside there’s nothing but more smoke and more flames.
Fear settles tight around Ryan, and before he can think too much, he’s darting back through the door. He pounds down the hallway, stepping on and stepping through more patches of fire until he reaches Brendon’s door. The wood is gone, but it’s barricaded by more dancing orange.
Ryan darts through and sees his Brendon, cowered in the center of the room with flames surrounding him and creeping steadily closer. Ryan pulls him through the house, out the way he came, running through the fire so fast that sparks barely have time to catch and hold onto his clothes before he’s out and laying Brendon on the ground.
Brendon looks up at him, eyes wide and searching, and Ryan pauses only to tell him, “stay”, before he’s heading back inside the ball of fire.
This time is harder and Ryan’s chest is closing up with thick smoke and he drops to his hands and knees, barely noticing the stinging burn in his palms. All he needs is to get to Jon and Spencer.
But all the rooms Ryan reaches are full of giant flames, no room for anyone to be safe. And Ryan can’t, he can’t leave. But he has to.
He chokes on the air and his eyes water and he moves too slowly. The flames latch onto his clothes and steadily burn through them, biting on his flesh. But he keeps going. He keeps going, and maybe years later he breaks free of the flames and he’s breathing shallow gulps of cleaner air.
He blinks to clear his eyes, and as soon as he sees Brendon, alive and free of the fire, his vision fades out and his mind turns blank.
The moment Ryan’s eyes shut is the moment Brendon unfreezes and comes back to reality.
And Brendon. Well, Brendon hates reality.
Because here and now their house is burning to the ground. Two of his best friends are gone forever. And his best, best friend is still on the ground, with breathing shallow and glowing red.
Red, Ryan’s red, and Brendon knows he has to get those burning clothes off of him as soon as possible. He peels the scorched fabric away slowly and he has to hold back a sound when he sees the blisters that cover Ryan’s body.
Brendon fumbles for his pockets, thinking he might have a phone with him. But his hands find nothing. He has no phone, no way of getting help, and he’s terrified because he doesn’t know what he can do to help Ryan. He doesn’t think there is anything he can do.
He’s useless. He’s scared to even touch Ryan, scared that any contact will do him more harm.
But when Ryan’s eyes open, Brendon can’t help but put a hand on his cheek. The skin is red and hot, but Ryan’s eyes stay locked with his and it feels like he’s helping, just a little.
Brendon doesn’t know how long he sits there, palm resting on Ryan’s face, watching his friend’s face as it twists in pain, watching his chest rise and fall fast and not at all regular.
He speaks to Ryan, but he doesn’t know what he says, and Ryan doesn’t answer with words; only with expressions.
When Ryan’s eyes are half closed and his breaths are barely visible anymore, Brendon starts to cry. He’s shaking and sobbing and he’s desperate and scared. He knows what’s going to happen. He knows it’ll be just him soon, alone, so alone. But he can’t see himself like that. He can’t see himself without them.
He turns his head towards the building and the fire that’s slowly burning down, down and out, and thinks maybe that might be better. He thinks of joining them.
“No.” it’s barely a word, croaked out of Ryan’s dry lips, but Brendon hears it, and all those thoughts leave his mind. Ryan saved him, saved his life. He can’t forget that.
Brendon nods his head, but he doesn’t know if Ryan can see him anymore. He doesn’t know if Ryan can hear him, but he whispers goodbye and whispers I love you and the tears keep flowing.
And Brendon almost breaks when Ryan’s heart stops beating, when his breaths halt, when there’s no movement beneath Brendon’s fingers.
He kneels there, alone, as the smoke rises into the sky and does the only thing he can.
He lives.