I'm A Scar Away From Falling Apart (15)
Title: I’m A Scar Away From Falling Apart (15)
Author: longerthanwedo
Beta: melody_so_sweet <3
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Rydon
POV: 1st, Brendon’s
Summary:
Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters, but the beginning of this plot is based off of a true story. Title belongs to Fall Out Boy.
Author’s Notes: There’s a longer note at the bottom of this one. Comments, as always, are awesome!
Prologue I Chapter 1 I Chapter 2 I Chapter 3 I Chapter 4 I Chapter 5 I Chapter 6 I Chapter 7 I Chapter 8 I Chapter 9 I Chapter 10 I Chapter 11 I Chapter 12 I Chapter 13 I Chapter 14
The sun beats down on my face as I sit contentedly on Ryan’s couch, the hard wood cool under my feet and Ryan’s hair sifting gently through my fingers.
Things have fallen into such an easy pattern around here, I think to myself as my eyes drift from the sleeping boy next to me, over to the window and the orange sun, and back again. I think I’d feel out of place in my own home after all the time I’ve spent here.
I feel guilty thinking it, but I almost wish that Ryan wouldn’t get better. I want him to be happy and healthy, I really do. I’m just afraid that maybe once he’s fine again and he doesn’t need my help I’ll have to leave and go back to my old life, my own home. Maybe he only keeps me here because he wouldn’t be able to fend for himself in his current condition. Maybe he doesn’t want me here at all.
I tell myself that’s ridiculous, and that he wouldn’t have let me kiss him if he didn’t at least like me a little. But I can’t help but think it.
And I know I’d be lonely, without anyone to talk to. Now that I’ve been living with Ryan for a while, I’ve forgotten how I managed to get by without a friend constantly nearby.
Ryan. A friend. I guess that’s what he is. Of course, in my mind we’re more than friends, but I don’t know what he thinks about that whole issue. We’ve never talked about it, but I’ve never wanted to, and I’m guessing he hasn’t either. We’d rather not disrupt this something that’s been happening because it’s just so effortless, so comfortable. And I want to keep it that way.
I smile and glance down at Ryan again. He’s fast asleep, half-lying, half-sitting on the couch, slumped over with his head smashed up against my arm and I can’t imagine that’s comfortable for him, but he hasn’t moved in half an hour. Neither have I.
Whatever’s behind his eyelids makes him smile, and I smile too, watching as the sun drifts down and settles in his hair, making it shine gold. I’m so far off in my own world that I jump and turn involuntarily when the loud ringing of the phone disrupts the silence.
Ryan jerks up with a small noise and looks around confusedly until he spots me on the edge of the seat. I smile at him reassuringly and pet his hair one more time before I go to find the phone.
“Hello?” I pick it up and somehow my voice sounds groggy like I’ve just been sleeping, too.
“Hello. This is a message for Ryan Ross. We’re calling to confirm his physical therapy appointment at 5 o’clock today.”
“Um. Yeah, he’ll be there, thanks,” I scratch my head and answer the lady.
“Thank you.”
The dial tone sounds.
I turn around, a little slow, and Ryan’s looking at me with wide questioning eyes, his hair sticking straight up on one side of his head, and flattened to his scalp on the other. The sight of him makes me laugh a little, and that only makes his expression more ridiculous, his eyebrows furrowed together in confusion.
“That was the physical therapy lady. She was reminding me of your appointment, for some reason,” I explain.
Ryan nods his head and looks at me, reaching his hands out towards me and, oh, he looks like an adorable little boy, how does he even do that?
I take one of his hands, sit back down next to him, and he immediately pulls me closer and wraps his arms around me, head on my shoulder. I smile down into his hair, and think that maybe he’ll want me to stay, after all.
We stay exactly like that, frozen together on Ryan’s couch, until the clock gets closer to five and I pull Ryan up so we can get ready and head out in my car (I still won’t let him drive).
A few minutes later we’re walking into the physical therapy building. I take a couple pieces of candy out of the bowl like always, and the receptionist greets us at the door with a wide smile. Vicky the therapist is smiling, too, unusually big with glowing eyes and everything, and I think that maybe she got married, or something, because she’s never this happy.
She greets me, then turns to Ryan and her smile grows even wider.
“Ryan! How are you today?” She asks.
“Um. I’m fine.” Ryan looks uncomfortable. I can’t really blame him.
Vicky says that today is a special day.
I’m thinking, yep, definitely married, when she says, “You’re going to try walking today!”
My mouth drops open and Ryan’s follows and we look at each other and back at her, and Ryan’s the first one to mimic Vicky’s smile, and I follow him. I don’t really know what to do except smile, so the three of us stand there grinning at each other until Vicky clears her throat and leads us to the back of the room where she takes Ryan’s crutches and tells him to give it a go.
He looks at me as he takes a step forward, then another, and another. He’s limping quite badly, and I can tell by the grimace on his face that it hurts. But he keeps going, moving his leg around to try to relearn the way his muscles work. He walks across the room and back again, does a few more exercises, and before I know it it’s time to leave again.
I’m turning to walk out the door when Vicky stops us and turns to talk to Ryan.
“I’m changing your appointments from weekly to once every two weeks, but keep doing your exercises at home, okay?”
Ryan nods.
“And I wouldn’t try skating for a while. Give your leg time to heal a little more before you put that kind of strain on it.”
She probably doesn’t notice, but my eyes catch the slight fall in Ryan’s expression, the disappointed and hurt look in his eyes as he realizes he’s not okay, not yet. It’s only there for a second, a flash, before it’s gone and his smile is back, if only a little smaller than before.
And then we walk out the door.
As soon as we’re in the car, Ryan looks at me, his eyes shining and a little desperate, and my heart twists to see him upset like this.
“Hey,” I say and brush his hair back with my fingers. I smile at him reassuringly before leaning in to kiss him gently. I pull away and he follows me, his hand wrapped around my neck, and I smile once more before putting my hand back to the wheel and starting up the car.
He keeps his arm around me the whole way home.
***
A/N: So, my summer has suddenly gotten busy. I’ve got a week left of art academy, then the day after that I leave on vacation for two weeks. I’ll try to update once before I leave, but I can’t make any promises. And then once I’m gone I probably will write, but I don’t know how much internet access I’ll have while I’m there. And after that I start on another camp thing. So updates will be a little screwed up for a while, but I’ll try my best.
<3