American Idol: I
A FUNNY INTERVIEW AMERICAN IDOL STYLE
Host: Welcome to my show ladies! Yes! We are not here and you are just daydreaming! *laughs*
Since the judges of American Idol are already OVERPAID, we decided instead to invite these un-interviewed people who knows the backstage and upstage and even the no stage of the show! So please, help me welcome, American Idol's Utility person!!!
*Loud yelling before the guest sat on their chairs. Ryan was the first to react.*
Ryan: Utilities? Why utilities?
Host: Well, blame me not Ryan. In my recollection, Simon used to complain that the contestants are like singing at their own bathrooms, so American Idol is more like a Bathroom than a contest, and you are its utilities!
*Loud laughter from the audience, Simon Cowell laughing hard and shaking his head in amusement*
Paula: You mean toiletries, dear.
Host: Yes, that, and a dawg.
*Laughs again*
-------
Ryan: So listen, I read this book called "The narcissist" and it tells the story about a guy who is so narcissistic that until now, he still isn't married and is unattached. Sounds very familiar? And did you know? The author sold a million copies of this book by the end of the month! And I thought, how about me authoring a same book and actually naming Simon as the narcissist i was talking about? I might just topped J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter by doing that!!
* Laughs from the crowd and Simon actually glaring at him.*
Simon: Nice Ryan, very nice and funny.
Ryan: And I bought another three of them and gave each to Randy, Paula and Kara. And guess what? We all thought the same! It was eerily all Simon like and we were like, are they twins or something?
*Laughter from the crowd, Paula and Kara smiling and Randy doing his dawg thing by taping Ryan's arms, and Simon, who was sitted besides Paula and her before Ryan, reach out a hand and playfully choked his neck*
Host: Wow. A utility boy writting a book. America has really sunken low.
*laughter again*
Host: So, what's new about the show?
Paula, Ryan, Simon, Kara, Randy: Adam Lambert.
*laughs coz they simultaneously answered the same name*
Ryan: He's just, you know, very talented and very out there. He entertains the crowd, he gives great performances, he's just great!
Simon: Yes, and Ryan has never love any contestant as he loves Adam. Just look at his face when the kid lost, its like he's lost it too.
Ryan: Oh just shut up Simon, you're just jealous cause I didn't talk to you for the rest of the show. I was busy, honey, busy in keeping the time and not let you folks and the rest cost us an overrun again.
*Laughter from the crowd. The rest was smiling and Kara, who was new to the team, was just shaking her head in disbelief.
Simon: Its because of these comments that people think we are secretly screwing each other. Grew a backbone already Ryan, if you like me, deal with it yourself and stop throwing gay banter jokes. I dont know how you can bear with this rumors and actually relish reading them over and over again in the internet.
Ryan: And how, and how would you know I was reading them?
Simon: Because, you are starting to believe everything they write on the internet and start projecting what they write, to me!
Ryan: And how would you know that what they had written and what I'm projecting to you is the same thing if you haven't read them yourself?
* A loud cheering erupted from the crowd and Simon reddens before laughing*
Simon: You, you really are purposely digging a grave for yourself aren't you?
Host: How about me writing a book about Simon and Ryan's relationship? That could give me an early retirement, don't you think? Who would like to financed me on that?
And everybody, including Paula, Randy and Kara raised their hands, even the cameraman on the back raised his hands.
Host: Yes, yes. And everybody just wanna get rich the easiest way.
* A Loud laughter followed the host's statement. Simon keep shaking his head while Ryan was just casually laughing his head off*
Host: How about that Simon? 40/50, 30 for me, 20 for the ones who financed us, 30 for you and 20 for Ryan? I know you cant refused money, they said its your God and you count your millions even before you take a gargle in the morning.
Simon, laughing: As much as I love money and the fact that my cut is bigger than Ryan's, but I don't think I'll have much need for coins in my bank account. What's a million gonna do with my account? Something to buy for Ryan's high heeled shoes?
Host: Well, at least you thought of Ryan, its the thought that counts they said. But wait, doesn't that just proves that everything you do involves Ryan?
Ryan: Yeah. Why do you always include me when you barely care about anybody else?
Simon: Its because its a competition, Ryan. When you do good, I am down, but when you fail, I am happy! Its as simple as that.
Ryan: And that is why we call you narcissistic. Because you only care for yourself and not happy about anybody else's success.
Simon: Well, what you see is what you get, darling.
Ryan: God! Just listen to that! I hate it when you keep accusing me of adding fuel to the rumors when its you who keep putting the woods onto the burning fire! Its just, very unfair!
Host, totally ignoring the guest, faced the camera: I think I may wanna demand to my producer a new theme for this show:
"The guys who wont admit it; does it. Those guys who keeps admitting it; doesn't do it anymore"
Simon: God. Could you sound any gayer than that?
*Laughter from the crowd*
Host: Simon, I think that just puts you on the top of my list as my primary guess when i re-introduce my show .
Simon: Oh god, give me a break! I'd gladly skip on it!
Host: Welcome to my show ladies! Yes! We are not here and you are just daydreaming! *laughs*
Since the judges of American Idol are already OVERPAID, we decided instead to invite these un-interviewed people who knows the backstage and upstage and even the no stage of the show! So please, help me welcome, American Idol's Utility person!!!
*Loud yelling before the guest sat on their chairs. Ryan was the first to react.*
Ryan: Utilities? Why utilities?
Host: Well, blame me not Ryan. In my recollection, Simon used to complain that the contestants are like singing at their own bathrooms, so American Idol is more like a Bathroom than a contest, and you are its utilities!
*Loud laughter from the audience, Simon Cowell laughing hard and shaking his head in amusement*
Paula: You mean toiletries, dear.
Host: Yes, that, and a dawg.
*Laughs again*
-------
Ryan: So listen, I read this book called "The narcissist" and it tells the story about a guy who is so narcissistic that until now, he still isn't married and is unattached. Sounds very familiar? And did you know? The author sold a million copies of this book by the end of the month! And I thought, how about me authoring a same book and actually naming Simon as the narcissist i was talking about? I might just topped J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter by doing that!!
* Laughs from the crowd and Simon actually glaring at him.*
Simon: Nice Ryan, very nice and funny.
Ryan: And I bought another three of them and gave each to Randy, Paula and Kara. And guess what? We all thought the same! It was eerily all Simon like and we were like, are they twins or something?
*Laughter from the crowd, Paula and Kara smiling and Randy doing his dawg thing by taping Ryan's arms, and Simon, who was sitted besides Paula and her before Ryan, reach out a hand and playfully choked his neck*
Host: Wow. A utility boy writting a book. America has really sunken low.
*laughter again*
Host: So, what's new about the show?
Paula, Ryan, Simon, Kara, Randy: Adam Lambert.
*laughs coz they simultaneously answered the same name*
Ryan: He's just, you know, very talented and very out there. He entertains the crowd, he gives great performances, he's just great!
Simon: Yes, and Ryan has never love any contestant as he loves Adam. Just look at his face when the kid lost, its like he's lost it too.
Ryan: Oh just shut up Simon, you're just jealous cause I didn't talk to you for the rest of the show. I was busy, honey, busy in keeping the time and not let you folks and the rest cost us an overrun again.
*Laughter from the crowd. The rest was smiling and Kara, who was new to the team, was just shaking her head in disbelief.
Simon: Its because of these comments that people think we are secretly screwing each other. Grew a backbone already Ryan, if you like me, deal with it yourself and stop throwing gay banter jokes. I dont know how you can bear with this rumors and actually relish reading them over and over again in the internet.
Ryan: And how, and how would you know I was reading them?
Simon: Because, you are starting to believe everything they write on the internet and start projecting what they write, to me!
Ryan: And how would you know that what they had written and what I'm projecting to you is the same thing if you haven't read them yourself?
* A loud cheering erupted from the crowd and Simon reddens before laughing*
Simon: You, you really are purposely digging a grave for yourself aren't you?
Host: How about me writing a book about Simon and Ryan's relationship? That could give me an early retirement, don't you think? Who would like to financed me on that?
And everybody, including Paula, Randy and Kara raised their hands, even the cameraman on the back raised his hands.
Host: Yes, yes. And everybody just wanna get rich the easiest way.
* A Loud laughter followed the host's statement. Simon keep shaking his head while Ryan was just casually laughing his head off*
Host: How about that Simon? 40/50, 30 for me, 20 for the ones who financed us, 30 for you and 20 for Ryan? I know you cant refused money, they said its your God and you count your millions even before you take a gargle in the morning.
Simon, laughing: As much as I love money and the fact that my cut is bigger than Ryan's, but I don't think I'll have much need for coins in my bank account. What's a million gonna do with my account? Something to buy for Ryan's high heeled shoes?
Host: Well, at least you thought of Ryan, its the thought that counts they said. But wait, doesn't that just proves that everything you do involves Ryan?
Ryan: Yeah. Why do you always include me when you barely care about anybody else?
Simon: Its because its a competition, Ryan. When you do good, I am down, but when you fail, I am happy! Its as simple as that.
Ryan: And that is why we call you narcissistic. Because you only care for yourself and not happy about anybody else's success.
Simon: Well, what you see is what you get, darling.
Ryan: God! Just listen to that! I hate it when you keep accusing me of adding fuel to the rumors when its you who keep putting the woods onto the burning fire! Its just, very unfair!
Host, totally ignoring the guest, faced the camera: I think I may wanna demand to my producer a new theme for this show:
"The guys who wont admit it; does it. Those guys who keeps admitting it; doesn't do it anymore"
Simon: God. Could you sound any gayer than that?
*Laughter from the crowd*
Host: Simon, I think that just puts you on the top of my list as my primary guess when i re-introduce my show .
Simon: Oh god, give me a break! I'd gladly skip on it!