The Most Distant Course
The Most Distant Course
Performing wasn’t such a nerve racking thing to do once you get a hang of it. In fact, it was exhilarating to hear people shouting after a long good chorus. It’s flattering to hear them plead for another encore. But as far as performing goes, once you walk inside that black curtains, another group will come out and swallow up your performance. Even so, that is just a natural phenomenon in this circle.
But what Brian didn't anticipate was the fact that one day, he might be force to work a stage single-handedly.
Without Hwanhee in it.
It was a daunting thought for somebody like him who after trying so hard to improve himself, still feels inadequate. Standing there in front of thousands of people made him want to run back inside those curtains he previously despised to be in.
This hesitation only made Brian curse himself. Is this what he supposedly wants? To what he nearly screwed his friendship over? His previous sentiments back then were just short from hatred, alienating most people's perception of him as a cheerful guy. He could only guess as to what extent did he hurt Hwanhee's feelings after knowing his side. He was just as clueless you see, but instead of completely exploding at his face like he usually does when enrage, Hwanhee just took it in stride.
So to simply cower like this is a total disrespect to Hwanhee! Were was that frickin boldness that drove him up to this point?
He certainly didn’t ask to shoulder this crowd without someone. He was so used to having Hwanhee's shadow that it was surreal now not having it following him. An unexpected epiphany raced inside his head as thousands of expecting fans flocked the small theater. Hwanhee conferred him a silent yet sturdy support throughout the years. His nonchalant behavior towards the fans made him want to strive to do oppositely.
In doing so allays most of his unvoiced insecurities about speaking the dialect without getting ridiculed. People always joked about his strange accent, and his constant prattling didn’t help mask the fact that his strange intonation was indeed weird, and so he's constantly teased about it. But Hwanhee, in his own strange way of protecting him refuses to ride with the joke, bellying a message that if one couldn’t get a hint by pursuing this topic then he is dimwitted enough to rouse his antagonism.
To most people, Hwanhee is a serious fellow enough to warrant respect if he so ever speaks, and that was mostly beneficial for both of them since nobody wants to antagonize a star on live television, not to mention Hwanhee. Brian thought perhaps Hwanhee’s reputation for having a knack at orchestrating arguments into an ugly, irresolvable one precedes his own prowess in singing.
Perhaps God thought it was asking too much, giving him a career and Hwanhee the same time. For the first time, well, since his debut, Brian stood bewildered in front of thousands of audience eagerly waiting for the superb gig he promised during promotions. All the dance steps, his voice lessons, even the lyrics of his songs seems to fade away in his present state of mind, all jumbled up and gooey. The sound system behind him registered only as static sound in his ears. For once in his career, Brian feared a screw up that Hwanhee couldn’t even fix for him.
Oh God, am I going to screw up this new freedom you granted me?
Palms sweating and legs slightly trembling while trying to will his nerves to settle down, Brian smiled at the audiences and wave.
“Anyeong Everyone! This is Brian Joo, and you are at my first solo concert! Its so strange not to have Hwanhee around, I’m not even too sure if he’s not really around because it still feels like he’s just there making sure that we keep our distance to each other!”a laugh ensued from the crowd and it gave the resolve Brian needed not to pretend as if Fly to the Sky and Hwanhee didn’t exist. “Anyways I hope I will give justification to your presence here in this theater, enjoy my performance guys, and let the concert begin!”
End of Chapter One