Goodbye Hello
Danny turned the wheel, not quite sharply enough, and clipped the corner of the grass.
"Shit," he mumbled to himself, then, remembering where he was, rolled his eyes up and added, "Sorry."
The Marquis had a larger profile than the Camaro and its power steering, if it had it to begin with, was most likely shot. Danny needed to get the hang and rhythm of this behemoth and trying to negotiate these narrow roads wasn't the place to do it. At least from all of his wrestling with the steering wheel, Danny wouldn't have to go to the gym before work tomorrow.
"Over there." Steve pointed ahead and to his right. "Just beyond the tree."
Danny threw the car into park and shut off the engine.
Steve hesitated a moment, staring towards where he had to be. He was steeling himself, because as strong and fearless as he was, Steve just didn't want to be doing this. He looked at Danny and smiled, thankful that his partner was here with him. Chin and Kono had been silent the whole ride over and Steve would have forgotten they were in the back seat if Kono hadn't quietly cleared her throat.
"Come on." Steve grabbed what had been resting on his lap and opened the door. The sunlight blinded him as he stepped out. How long had it been? Seemed like forever and no time at all.
The team gathered around Steve and waited for him to make the first move. They were maybe fifty or sixty feet away. After only a few steps together, Danny touched Steve's arm and halted them. "Hey, uh, we were talking before. And we figured it's best to let you go ahead by yourself. We'll be right here if you need us."
"We'll pay our respects when you're done," Chin said, resting his hand on Steve's shoulder.
Kono leaned up and kissed Steve lightly on the cheek. "We love you."
Steve felt a knot tightening in his chest, so he only nodded and quickly turned away from the group. He walked, slowly and steadily, until he reached his parents' graves. He squatted and laid two beautifully wrapped bouquets on the ground, one for each of them.
Steve had never been particularly religious, wasn't raised that way. But here, now, he felt a connection to his parents he hadn't encountered since he was a teenager. So, in his head, he spoke to them, almost as if he was praying to them. And as he spoke, he went over every detail of their case for them: the trial and lifetime conviction of Hiro Noshimuri, the deaths of Victor Hesse and Wo Fat at Steve's hands and that Mary Ann and he were finally safe.
But as logical Steve was recounting facts, another part of his brain was about to boil over. He fought hard, more than half of his life, to keep his grief under control. To never let himself truly feel the pain and anguish of losing both of his parents in such horrific ways. At sixteen, Steve wanted to be a man, not a boy, so he buried his sadness, along with his mother, to be strong for his dad and sister. At his father's funeral, he couldn't properly pay his respects, because he was too consumed by hatred and revenge. As the 21-gun salute had sounded, Steve didn't think of it as a tribute to his dad, but rather as every bullet he'd personally pump into Hesse's body. Today, at last, Steve could grieve.
And because Steve never did anything by half, his catharsis was epic. He rolled forward onto his knees, his head touching the ground. Steve felt his sobs vibrate through his body and no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't stop. The tears flowed, his breathing was stuttered, his body shook. Steve hadn't wanted to cry, let alone have a breakdown, in front of Danny, Chin and Kono. But today, there was no room for his masculine pride. He had owed himself this release for a long time and a freight train, packed with his own personal hell, was barreling out of his body, in full view of the world. And, right now, Steve really didn't care.
The second Steve's knees hit the ground, Danny was over to him like a shot. Not running, but walking with a steady determination. Not thinking, but acting on instinct, as Steve had done in so many situations before.
Danny knelt beside Steve and placed his hand on Steve's shoulder, in a vain attempt to stop the sobbing. Steve raised himself up and looked at Danny, his eyes red and bleary, his face streaked with tears and dirt. It was at that moment that Danny, himself, almost cracked. But, instead, he closed his eyes, drew Steve's head to his chest and held him there. As best he could, he rocked Steve and repeated "shhhh" and "it's ok" and "let it out", until the words took Danny back to New Jersey too many years ago, when he tried to soothe a colicky infant named Grace.
When Danny opened his eyes, Chin and Kono were with them. Kono was squatting behind Steve, eyes closed, a hand resting between his shoulder blades. It was like she was trying to support his weight and draw out his pain. Chin stood, head bowed. Danny figured he was telling Jack McGarrett how much he missed him or was asking God to watch over this band of misfit toys known as 5-0.
Steve eventually calmed down, let out a final sigh and stood. He wiped his eyes, hugged Chin and Kono and thanked them for just being there. As Steve turned to his partner, Danny stopped him.
"I need a minute, here," Danny said and turned back to face the grave stones. He crossed himself and pulled the chain, holding his crucifix and St. Michael medal, from underneath his shirt. He held the silver like rosary beads, as he silently said the prayers he learned in Catholic school and thanked the McGarretts for letting Steve be a part of his life.
Danny didn't want to admit it to Steve, the man-mountain and bringer of destruction, who crashed into his life and caused all kinds of chaos. Who charmed Grace and became Danny's surrogate spouse. He didn't want to inflate Steve's ego, thereby undoing all of the rants he'd pounded into Steve's head. But deep down, he needed Steve, Steve needed him and Danny thought Steve's parents should know how important their son was.
Danny crossed himself again and tucked the chain away. He took a step to join the others and bumped right into Steve. Steve leaned in and hugged Danny hard, almost squeezing the breath out of him. "You, Daniel...are the best," Steve whispered, his lips a hair away from Danny's earlobe.
-----
The team retreated to the McGarrett house for steaks and lobster tails, Steve's way of showing his gratitude. Many Longboards were downed with, and after, dinner, and the party eventually spilled out onto the beach. Chin and Steve told stories about Jack McGarrett, peppered with remembrances of Steve's mom. And Chin managed to throw in one or two embarrassing ones about a gangly, high school quarterback, who went on to receive a full scholarship to Annapolis.
Kono knew it was time to go when Danny and Chin took turns trying to belch the entire alphabet. Steve was in hysterics from the contest, so he just waved as Kono bundled Chin out the door, embarrassed by, and apologetic for, her cousin's behavior.
When he finally caught his breath, Steve stood up and headed indoors. "Want another one?" he asked, waving his empty beer bottle at Danny.
"Sure. What's one more?" Danny brushed the sand off and stepped into the living room. He plopped down on the couch and thought he would melt into it.
As Steve rounded the corner with their beers, he stopped to take in the sight: Danny, eyes closed, head resting on the back of the couch. Tie off, top three buttons of the ever-present dress shirt unbuttoned. Arms folded over his chest. Legs stretched out. And barefoot. Yes, Danny Williams had spent the better part of the evening enjoying sand between his toes. A red-letter day, indeed.
The rhythm of Danny's breathing and the lack of words spewing from his mouth told Steve that his partner was most likely napping. So, as quietly as he could, Steve snuck over and placed an ice-cold Longboard against Danny's exposed neck.
Danny jerked, but didn't open his eyes. He just smiled as he reached for the beer. "Bastard. I knew you were gonna do that."
Steve smirked and dropped next to Danny, a little closer than he normally would have. Maybe it was the beer or the day they'd shared. Steve had wanted to discuss something with Danny for a long time, but still couldn't find the words. All he could do was stare.
Danny felt the uncomfortable silence and opened one eye. "What?" he drawled.
Steve leaned a bit closer. "You're too quiet. It's not like you."
Danny stretched as he sat up, his face inches from Steve's. "Make up my mind, McGarrett. You always tell me I talk too much. Now you want chatter? Alright, I'll give you chatter. I noticed today, my friend, that you," he said, poking Steve in the chest, "are not a robot or from the planet Krypton. You do, in fact, have human emotions."
"Really? And?"
Danny paused a moment, his voice softening. "And I like it. It looks good on you. Telling stories tonight, I've never seen you laugh so hard."
"Huh."
"Huh? That's it?" Danny asked, his amusement evident on his face. "I give you my deep insights, with a compliment, I might add, and all you've got is 'huh'? I open my heart, instead of punching you..."
"Would you rather be punching me?" Steve taunted, resting his forehead against Danny's, their gazes locked. Steve's eyes sparkled and his goofy grin was firmly in place as he rolled his head back and forth without breaking his contact with Danny.
When this story was later told, each of them would claim victory. In reality, it was a draw.
Their lips brushed and connected, a soft, chaste, kiss. Two friends quickly becoming more: indulging, exploring, laying the foundation for everything that was to come. They broke apart, smiled and dove in, again.
Competition had always been a crucial element of Danny and Steve's relationship, and here, there was no difference. Their lips mashed together and their hands fumbled in an awkward, yet overpowering hug, each trying to get the other to submit, to be on top. Steve's open mouth to catch a breath was Danny's chance to dart his tongue in and savor Steve. Not to be outdone, Steve invaded Danny's mouth and kept his tongue there.
When they stopped for the second time, their panting was punctuated with laughter. Laughter at the ridiculousness of it all: how long it had taken them to show their feelings, how each of them had to be the one in control and how dorky each thought the other looked after he'd been kissed.
"I'm really sorry we took forever to do this," Steve said between breaths, as he touched a tender spot on the side of his mouth. He hoped there wouldn't be a hickey there tomorrow morning. Then, again, fuck it if there was.
"Talk is cheap, Steven. If you want to show how sorry you are, invite me upstairs to that nice queen size bed you have."
"It's a California King," Steve bragged.
"Even better. I'll need space away from you and all of your tentacles. I swear, you Navy Octopuses, Octopi, whatever you're called, are so grabby."
Steve resisted the urge to reply. He simply sighed and smiled, taking Danny's hand and leading the way.
"You wanna hear something funny?" Danny asked, as they hit the bottom step, fingers still entwined.
"Sure."
"Bleeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggghhh." Danny let fly with his longest and loudest belch of the evening, echoing up the McGarrett stairway.
Steve collapsed against the wall in a fit of laughter and buried his head in his hands. "I can't believe I just kissed that mouth."
"First of all, Steven, let the record show that after the ridiculous mating ritual you and I performed, I sacked up and I KISSED YOU."
"Second, you," Danny continued, clapping Steve on the shoulder, "give me indigestion. Ya have since day one. Now, you're gonna have to deal with the consequences."
"And third," he finished, snaking his free arm around Steve's waist and helping him to his feet, "you gotta admit, that was the best fucking burp of the night. I totally could've made it to 'W' with that one."
-----
Once in Steve's room, they felt like teenagers again: horny and nervous.
They each began to undress themselves, a little bit self-consciously, when it dawned on them: they could be stripping each other.
Danny almost tore Steve's cargo pants off and was treated to the last pieces of the naked Steve McGarrett puzzle. For his work, Steve got an eyeful of everything that Danny had been hiding under his button-down existence: the bulldog body, furry chest and tree-trunk legs.
Steve was also dying to see the bubble-butt that filled out the back of Danny's trousers so nicely. But there was one obstacle. "Seriously, Danny? Old-man boxers? I didn't know you were in your eighties."
"Shut up, you," Danny hissed, but with a smirk. He peeled off his shorts and launched them at Steve's head. When Steve ducked, Danny used the distraction to tackle the naked SEAL onto the bed.
When finally and completely satisfied, they ended up in a position that would become all too familiar: Steve, head resting on Danny's heart, arm wrapped around Danny's waist, clutching him like he was Steve's favorite teddy bear, while Danny curled an arm over Steve's shoulder. As Steve snored, and probably drooled, on his partner's chest, Danny swore this was the most content he'd ever seen Steve.
Every night before he fell asleep, Danny always said a prayer. Not in some formal way, but, rather, as he lay in bed, he'd reflect on the day. And he'd ask all of his relatives who'd passed on before him to watch over everyone he loved. He'd rattle off name after name of family and friends, being sure not to exclude anyone. Since joining 5-0, he'd added Chin, Kono and the entire McGarrett family, but, first and foremost, Steve.
Now, happy to find someone so unexpected and welcome in his arms, Danny simply closed his eyes, rolled his head back and mouthed two words.
"Thank you."