(no subject)
i dont know what im doing with my life. so im really happy that we had this fucking snowday.
this past week seemed to go so fast but last forever. thursday we went to oneonta and loved it. i liked it so much more the 2nd time i went and now i dont feel as worried about not liking college. cause oneonta was cool and so is cortland. so fuck it if i only applied to 2 schools. im tierd of everyone applying all over the god damn nation and making me feel crazy cause i only applied to 2. now i just have to pray i get in. somewhere. anywhere.
friday was a joke. i went into school early and went to ceramics 2nd period to re-start my project. then i deffinetly left school 5th period and went to phils house with kaylyn. and didnt make it back for the rest of my classes. way to go erin. im always on top of those smart decisions apparently. so then i had a crazy afternoon cause i had to pick ker up from school, get my pay check, and then go get jenna from school. and then decided i couldnt drive all the way to the mall. and then nearly killed keri when the car in front of me blew out a tire and i almost crashed into the back of thier car. so not my fault but still scary as all hell. keri did my hair and we just laughed at how bad it looked so i came home, took a shower straightened my hair and attempted to get ready and ran around in my robe while kaylyn, collin, kevin and everyone else started showing up. of course i couldnt be on time because that would only be the easy way to start the night off. im excited to get my pictures back, i deffinetly hope they came out good. the dance was so much fun. it was kindof weird thinking the was the last, but everyone made the best of it. after the dance me, alex and kay kay went to shoprite and i basically made everyone buy food for rogers house for no real reason at all. so we bought the most random things and then headed over to rogers. rogers was the same as it usually is, beer pong and just hanging out. drove alex home and then we all went to lindsays house which was just so funny cause i had no idea what was going on and i fell down her steps really hard so me and roger just passed out in the bed until it was time to leave. backs to rogers and then to sleep.
saturday i had to work which was horrid. i showed up looking like a mess and everyone just laughed at me. after work i went out to dinner with my parents and aubs and then went to get the christmas tree. then i came home and passed out on the couch and at about 1130 i woke up and randomly started calling everyone trying to make plans while i was still half asleep.
sunday worked. came home. argued my life away. had a nervous breakdown. talked to collin for awhile and calmed down. then more drama went on. i finally got to bed at 1.
i need to vent about everything thats going down. cause i cant take it anymore. the past couple of weeks have been nothing but fights and i hate it. i try so hard to just forget about everything and give up but in the end i always feel bad and want to work shit out. like right now. i hate giving up on friends but i cant stick around much longer when its always made out to be that im the one to blame. i care about you so much. so much more then i ever let myself admitt and i hate that i feel the way i do but its too late to change anything. i hate that its so hard to talk to you and i never get to say what i really want too. im sorry. i keep messing up, i know. but i just want this to end.
this past week seemed to go so fast but last forever. thursday we went to oneonta and loved it. i liked it so much more the 2nd time i went and now i dont feel as worried about not liking college. cause oneonta was cool and so is cortland. so fuck it if i only applied to 2 schools. im tierd of everyone applying all over the god damn nation and making me feel crazy cause i only applied to 2. now i just have to pray i get in. somewhere. anywhere.
friday was a joke. i went into school early and went to ceramics 2nd period to re-start my project. then i deffinetly left school 5th period and went to phils house with kaylyn. and didnt make it back for the rest of my classes. way to go erin. im always on top of those smart decisions apparently. so then i had a crazy afternoon cause i had to pick ker up from school, get my pay check, and then go get jenna from school. and then decided i couldnt drive all the way to the mall. and then nearly killed keri when the car in front of me blew out a tire and i almost crashed into the back of thier car. so not my fault but still scary as all hell. keri did my hair and we just laughed at how bad it looked so i came home, took a shower straightened my hair and attempted to get ready and ran around in my robe while kaylyn, collin, kevin and everyone else started showing up. of course i couldnt be on time because that would only be the easy way to start the night off. im excited to get my pictures back, i deffinetly hope they came out good. the dance was so much fun. it was kindof weird thinking the was the last, but everyone made the best of it. after the dance me, alex and kay kay went to shoprite and i basically made everyone buy food for rogers house for no real reason at all. so we bought the most random things and then headed over to rogers. rogers was the same as it usually is, beer pong and just hanging out. drove alex home and then we all went to lindsays house which was just so funny cause i had no idea what was going on and i fell down her steps really hard so me and roger just passed out in the bed until it was time to leave. backs to rogers and then to sleep.
saturday i had to work which was horrid. i showed up looking like a mess and everyone just laughed at me. after work i went out to dinner with my parents and aubs and then went to get the christmas tree. then i came home and passed out on the couch and at about 1130 i woke up and randomly started calling everyone trying to make plans while i was still half asleep.
sunday worked. came home. argued my life away. had a nervous breakdown. talked to collin for awhile and calmed down. then more drama went on. i finally got to bed at 1.
i need to vent about everything thats going down. cause i cant take it anymore. the past couple of weeks have been nothing but fights and i hate it. i try so hard to just forget about everything and give up but in the end i always feel bad and want to work shit out. like right now. i hate giving up on friends but i cant stick around much longer when its always made out to be that im the one to blame. i care about you so much. so much more then i ever let myself admitt and i hate that i feel the way i do but its too late to change anything. i hate that its so hard to talk to you and i never get to say what i really want too. im sorry. i keep messing up, i know. but i just want this to end.