(no subject)
Today was weird in a way, because I just had this feeling that something was going to go all wrong and there would be nothing i could do about it. I guess i was right, because i got a call from my mom today (im living with my dad now, i used to live at my moms) Well she was drunk and accused me of everything that is going on at her house. For those that dont know, she has a room-mate living there by the name of Stuart, and he thinks he's God. He's a control freak, wants everything to be his way. Well my mom and dad divorced 5 years ago when i was 9, and after my dad moved out stuart moved in. Since day 1 i hated him. He thought he could push my mom around in thinking she would never see me again if she made a wrong move, and being as young as i was i wasn't able to do shit about it. Becoming older and stronger and bigger i started standing up to him, becoming afraid of nothing. He saw this, and started saying more things to my mom, like "if you don't keep your son under control you will never see him again" well, when i heard this i went into a blind rage. I started punching the wall, i ran outside and hit every window in the garage, every window in his cars, everything i could get a hold of i destroyed. (i was 13 then) When she came back out she saw this, and started yelling at ME, AT ME for doing this. I tried to defend her when she argued with him, they argued every damn week, every time was something different. He would always bring up something that happened in the past as his evidence that my mom and i was wrong and he was always right. Turning 14 was a new era for me, i started realising i strengths and weaknesses, and worked on them. That was the first time i had ever been so ANGRY at my mom and stuart, the first time i just totally went off and didnt calm down until my dad came over...and then i knew it would all be alright. That was when i was 13. Why am I at my dad's? I'll tell you. My mom and i went to the grocery, and stuart was already pissed off about something stupid. When we got back, they started up again. That night i felt it, and i knew something vaine was going to happen. I was putting shit up in the fridge when i heard my mom shreik behind me. I turned around and saw stuart grabbing her by the wrist and shaking her violently. That's the 2nd time Blind Rage has gotten a hold of me. I grabbed him off of her and threw him against the wall, while my mom fell. I didnt care about my mom at that point. I cared about sending as much pain thru him as humanly possible. I didnt understand what was happening around me: i had a mission. I drew back to swing and didnt hit him, but went thru the wall and the other side into the bathroom about 2 inches from his face. While i cocked my arm back, the emotions running thru this mans eyes was amazingly scared. He knew it was going to happen. My mom grabbed me, and took me off of him and put me outside...i wasnt over it. I went and punched out panels in the fence we had, and just hit anything i could to get the anger out. When she dragged me off him all he could do was stare at that hole, and prey to God it wasnt his face. He left, and i called my dad and got him to pick me up. I have seen my mom since, but nothing like tonight. She has never done this before. It was expected tho, living in the conditions she is. She said it was my fault that she was being treated this way. I cant do SHIT ABOUT IT MOM and as soon as she excepts that, she will understand it is her that wont get him out of the house, and she will know it isn't my fault. I guess i leave you tonight wondering if it is my fault...i guess thats for the world to decide...