Lines drawn everywhere
As life continues onward, as it tends to do, I find myself looking to the past more and more; learning lessons in the hindsight, knowing that there were better choices to be had and paths taken. I find myself asking "what now?" A constant reminder that I currently reside in a completely alien point in my life.
As a few of you know, a student of mine was murdered because he was trying to leave his life of drug addiction behind. I understand death, it is no stranger to me- some might even go as far as to say that I have conversed with it- regardless I was affected deeply by the loss. Emotions I had long ago repressed have surfaced and once again I battle with ghosts from my past . I found myself enraged at the selfishness of the act and stunned by it's permanance- death is one of the very few things in this universe that is not temporary, I cannot take solace in my Zen.
I lost my government job due to budget cuts, it doesn't really bother me too much. I have another stream of income that seems to be doing just fine.
Mar and I are in our new place: location secret though- don't want a lot of freakos showing up ever. We're now living out of boxes ( as always), but now in a bigger space. After our tiny apartment, there seems to be too much room and now I really don't know what to do with some of the stuff. Got a few years to figure it out though, so not really a problem :P
Made new friends, ran into a bad situation, and had to let them go. Such is life. Not too much of a bummer, afterall I didn't lose anything I already didn't have ( i think thats how the saying goes).
People say life is more free in a house, I haven't really experienced that yet. Maybe after we get all settled in, things will change.
More later.
RIP S. Bowles 1987-2009
As a few of you know, a student of mine was murdered because he was trying to leave his life of drug addiction behind. I understand death, it is no stranger to me- some might even go as far as to say that I have conversed with it- regardless I was affected deeply by the loss. Emotions I had long ago repressed have surfaced and once again I battle with ghosts from my past . I found myself enraged at the selfishness of the act and stunned by it's permanance- death is one of the very few things in this universe that is not temporary, I cannot take solace in my Zen.
I lost my government job due to budget cuts, it doesn't really bother me too much. I have another stream of income that seems to be doing just fine.
Mar and I are in our new place: location secret though- don't want a lot of freakos showing up ever. We're now living out of boxes ( as always), but now in a bigger space. After our tiny apartment, there seems to be too much room and now I really don't know what to do with some of the stuff. Got a few years to figure it out though, so not really a problem :P
Made new friends, ran into a bad situation, and had to let them go. Such is life. Not too much of a bummer, afterall I didn't lose anything I already didn't have ( i think thats how the saying goes).
People say life is more free in a house, I haven't really experienced that yet. Maybe after we get all settled in, things will change.
More later.
RIP S. Bowles 1987-2009