Out of place

[lonewallflower]

Sometimes I wonder if I was adopted. I mean, I know was born into this family, but I couldn't be more out of place. I can't relate with anyone on either side, with the exception of my cousin Savannah. I mean, I can talk to her about books and current world happenings without being made to feel like a nerd. I've tried to talk to my mom about those kinds of things, but then I think she starts feeling as if I know more than her, so she starts getting all defensive and puts down my ideas like they're stupid and wrong and hers are the only right answers. I think it scares her that I might actually be right most of the time. Sometimes I just have to leave the room to laugh out loud because she says things that are just so completely wrong and, for lack of a better word, stupid. I mean, I love my mom to death, but I just don't want to be her. I want bigger and better things. I know it's not her fault, and I know she probably had greater goals than what she achieved, but making me feel stupid and guilty for what she didn't become is not going to change her life. The constant comments that she "knows" I'm going to grow up and become a rich doctor so I can take care of her and buy her a big house, are just her dreams for me. I have no ambition to become a doctor. My dream doesn't include making a whole lot of money and supporting my parents. I would love to, but what I want to do in life just doesn't usually pair up with being rich (with the exception of J.K Rowling.)
I've tried relating to both sides of my family, but there's just nothing there. My dad, well, with the exception of inheriting his handwriting, thankfully I didn't get much else. Otherwise I would have no hope for the future. I know my family supports me and wants the best for me, they just don't get me, and will probably never get me.
*I wish Savannah lived closer. We could hang out at Starbucks and talk politics ;-) *