My head is pounding something fierce.
Okay, so knitting_girl is sending everyone she knows over to this LJ, so here we go...my latest public entry!
**
So I'm sitting there, and all of a sudden I started feeling majorly sick. My stomach was doing flips and just killing me. I just kept praying, "Let me get to Rockefeller Center. Just let me get there." And I did, I went to the ladies' room, splashed water on my face, and suddenly felt a million times better.
When I finally got to the Today studio, it was just after 6AM. There were only about eight people there -- I met dontyouwish there -- so we stood on the sidewalks and watched Clay's (silent) soundcheck from outside. His hair was all messy and I basically got a nice shot of his booty the whole time. ;)
Unfortunately, when the actual performance came around, they kicked us away from the windows and shut the blinds. So we all ran to the pit. When the songs, (ohmigoodness, what was with "The Way"?! *dead*,) were over, Clay and Kelly came outside to sign autographs and take pictures. They never got over to my side. But I think I got some nice pictures!
The security guard told us where to stand to watch them leave and maybe get some more autographs and pictures. But their "people" rushed them out, so all we got was pictures of them going into the van. (Clay actually turned to me and the woman next to me when we yelled to him and waved and gave us a big smile!)
When Today was over, I went down to Times Square. knitting_girl and I were planning on going to TRL, but it was barely 11AM when I got there. So I hung out in the Times Square Visitors' Center for about a half-hour and then went for lunch at McDonalds. (Which I spent $7.50 on and ate less than half of.) Cris called me then and we planned on meeting at MTV at 1PM. So I went to Virgin, (bought "Bust" magazine with Tina Fey on the cover,) then headed over to the studio. It was only ten after 12PM, but there was already a line forming for stand-ins, so I got on and made myself fourth.
Cris got there around 1-ish, so we stood on line and just talked about everything. The ticket line just stayed really short until 3PM, and then it started looking like we wouldn't get in.
Courtney, (some of you know her as the MTV audience coordinator with whom I have a love-hate relationship with,) started handing out bracelets. She had quite a few left when the ticket holders were done, but she decided to give them to out-of-towners. Even after that, she still had more. So she came to the front of the line. She asked us where we were from, and we told her.
"It's my first time here...I had to take off work to be here," Cristen told her.
"Okay, but weren't you here last time Clay was?" I knew Courtney recognized me, but I hadn't been to TRL since "Invisible" premiered. I told her that. And by some miracle, she handed us both bracelets. "Just get on the back of the line."
So Cris and I got all fan!girly with a few other (very excited) girls on line. When they finally, finally let us into the building, she and I were absolutely last. We didn't get into the studio itself until about thirty seconds to showtime, and Courtney sat us on a bench in the back.
I don't know if it's my hormones, but I was already in tears just waiting for the show to start. I was totally panicked, and I had no idea why. I just couldn't calm down.
So the show went on. Cris and I had a lot of fun pointing out silly things Clay did between interviews, (sang to Ruben's "Sorry 2004", made chipmunk faces, etc.,) and she tried harder than anyone I know to make me calm down.
Throughout the show, we Cris kept swearing Clay was looking over to us. I thought he was watching Courtney and the other girl in front of us, so I just tried to stay cool.
"The Way" blew it for me. As soon as the first line started, I was crying again. It's such a beautiful video. I just stood behind Cris, sobbing into her Wendy's napkin, staring. I was singing along, but it's hard to do when your lips are quivering as badly as your hands, don't you think?
Courtney came over to me and was like, "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'll be fine. I've been up since 4AM just to see this."
"Oh," she smiled. "Okay."
During the last commercial break, I was standing with Cris, finally calming down, when someone tapped my shoulder. I turned around and saw Jerome, who'd basically come from nowhere. "When this is over, don't leave. Clay wants to meet you personally."
Yeah, the tears that were finally dried, they came back double-force. Cris went, "He wants to meet you!" I couldn't stop crying. One of the security guards went and got me paper towels, and I had to sit down and breathe. Cris knelt in front of me and took my hands. "Are you okay?"
"He wants me, Cris. He asked to meet me!" I whispered.
"Okay, you really have to compose yourself!" the woman behind me laughed. "Just breathe!"
I could barely move. "Toxic" came on, and I said to Cris, "This is my song for Clay. This is ours!" She just laughed and kept hugging me.
When the number one song was over, I sat down again and got myself calm. "I'll be fine. I'll be fine. I'm okay." Again, Jerome came over and grabbed me.
"You guys, come on." He had a little squabble with the MTV guys who didn't want me and Cristen to go backstage, but we just kind of pushed right through them.
"Stay here," he told me, pulling the curtain closed a little more. He stepped back and...
Our eyes met. He grinned, almost running to me.
Clay: Hi! What's your name?
Me: Oh, my God... Cailin.
Clay: *hugs me so hard, smells so good* Cailin. Are you okay?
[Note - everyone should say my name with a Southern twang!]
Me: I'll be fine. *crying*
Clay: Oh! *takes my hands in both of his* Are you coming to the show tomorrow night?
Me: Yeah...seventeenth row.
[Note 2 - I know I should have said no, but I can't lie to those eyes!]
Cris: And she was nice enough to give me the extra ticket.
Clay: *lets go of my hands* And what's your name?
Cris: Cristen. *hugs her* I left you stuff in Philly last night.
Clay: Oh? What?
Cris: Tea, throat drops, puppy sushi...
Clay: I drank your tea this morning! Right?
Jon: Yeah!
[Note 3 - Jon? Yeah, scruffily cute and totally into Clay!]
Clay: ...and the sushi...
Cris: For the dog, not you.
Clay: Oh, honey, I wouldn't eat it. *grins, turns back to me* They're gonna make me leave. Where are you sitting tomorrow? Oh, wait, I asked you already.
Me: Seventeenth row, stage right.
Clay: Seventeenth row...right...that's my, um... *thinks* ...my left.
[Note 4 - sheer brilliance on Aiken's part. *lol*]
Me: *laughs nervously* Yeah.
Clay: Seventeenth row, my left. I'll remember that. I'll look for you!
Me: Oh, my God.
Clay: *laughs* I'll look for you! It was so nice to meet you, Cailin.
Me: Me, too.
Clay: I'm glad you're coming to the show tomorrow. *hugs me again, even harder* 'Bye!
...and he ran off, John and Jerome in tow.
Cristen and I somehow floated out of the backstage area and to the line to pick up our coats and bags. I was crying the whole time, (even though the woman behind me thought I was crazy...grr,) and Cris just kept saying, "Oh, my God. This is so not real."
onedesire texted us to tell us that we were on camera, (I was the crying girl right after "The Way" -- screencap anyone?,) so we called her and told her everything. I couldn't get over how good he smelled, how tightly he squeezed me, how beautiful his eyes were, how soft his hands were...that out of all the gorgeous girls in the audience, Clay Aiken had seen me, in all my fan!girl glory, and decided I was the one he wanted to meet.
I don't know what made Courtney give us the bracelets, despite our history. I don't know what caused Clay to look over to us and think, "I need to meet her," despite my red eyes and my tears. I'm not the most religious person in the world, despite my WWJD? bracelet, but after Jerome came over to me, I looked up and just whispered, "Thank you."
I've never been in love, but I'm pretty sure Clay's stolen my heart. He is just an amazing guy. And even without the camera that had been tucked away by security, even without a piece of paper and signature...there's no doubt in my mind that this memory will forever be one of my favorites.
I think I'll go crash now...it's been a long, eventful day. I don't even want to think about tomorrow and what could happen if Clay did see me again. (Not that I honestly expect that, but I will be making some sort of sign to try and remind him who I am.)
Good night, everyone!
**
So I'm sitting there, and all of a sudden I started feeling majorly sick. My stomach was doing flips and just killing me. I just kept praying, "Let me get to Rockefeller Center. Just let me get there." And I did, I went to the ladies' room, splashed water on my face, and suddenly felt a million times better.
When I finally got to the Today studio, it was just after 6AM. There were only about eight people there -- I met dontyouwish there -- so we stood on the sidewalks and watched Clay's (silent) soundcheck from outside. His hair was all messy and I basically got a nice shot of his booty the whole time. ;)
Unfortunately, when the actual performance came around, they kicked us away from the windows and shut the blinds. So we all ran to the pit. When the songs, (ohmigoodness, what was with "The Way"?! *dead*,) were over, Clay and Kelly came outside to sign autographs and take pictures. They never got over to my side. But I think I got some nice pictures!
The security guard told us where to stand to watch them leave and maybe get some more autographs and pictures. But their "people" rushed them out, so all we got was pictures of them going into the van. (Clay actually turned to me and the woman next to me when we yelled to him and waved and gave us a big smile!)
When Today was over, I went down to Times Square. knitting_girl and I were planning on going to TRL, but it was barely 11AM when I got there. So I hung out in the Times Square Visitors' Center for about a half-hour and then went for lunch at McDonalds. (Which I spent $7.50 on and ate less than half of.) Cris called me then and we planned on meeting at MTV at 1PM. So I went to Virgin, (bought "Bust" magazine with Tina Fey on the cover,) then headed over to the studio. It was only ten after 12PM, but there was already a line forming for stand-ins, so I got on and made myself fourth.
Cris got there around 1-ish, so we stood on line and just talked about everything. The ticket line just stayed really short until 3PM, and then it started looking like we wouldn't get in.
Courtney, (some of you know her as the MTV audience coordinator with whom I have a love-hate relationship with,) started handing out bracelets. She had quite a few left when the ticket holders were done, but she decided to give them to out-of-towners. Even after that, she still had more. So she came to the front of the line. She asked us where we were from, and we told her.
"It's my first time here...I had to take off work to be here," Cristen told her.
"Okay, but weren't you here last time Clay was?" I knew Courtney recognized me, but I hadn't been to TRL since "Invisible" premiered. I told her that. And by some miracle, she handed us both bracelets. "Just get on the back of the line."
So Cris and I got all fan!girly with a few other (very excited) girls on line. When they finally, finally let us into the building, she and I were absolutely last. We didn't get into the studio itself until about thirty seconds to showtime, and Courtney sat us on a bench in the back.
I don't know if it's my hormones, but I was already in tears just waiting for the show to start. I was totally panicked, and I had no idea why. I just couldn't calm down.
So the show went on. Cris and I had a lot of fun pointing out silly things Clay did between interviews, (sang to Ruben's "Sorry 2004", made chipmunk faces, etc.,) and she tried harder than anyone I know to make me calm down.
Throughout the show, we Cris kept swearing Clay was looking over to us. I thought he was watching Courtney and the other girl in front of us, so I just tried to stay cool.
"The Way" blew it for me. As soon as the first line started, I was crying again. It's such a beautiful video. I just stood behind Cris, sobbing into her Wendy's napkin, staring. I was singing along, but it's hard to do when your lips are quivering as badly as your hands, don't you think?
Courtney came over to me and was like, "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'll be fine. I've been up since 4AM just to see this."
"Oh," she smiled. "Okay."
During the last commercial break, I was standing with Cris, finally calming down, when someone tapped my shoulder. I turned around and saw Jerome, who'd basically come from nowhere. "When this is over, don't leave. Clay wants to meet you personally."
Yeah, the tears that were finally dried, they came back double-force. Cris went, "He wants to meet you!" I couldn't stop crying. One of the security guards went and got me paper towels, and I had to sit down and breathe. Cris knelt in front of me and took my hands. "Are you okay?"
"He wants me, Cris. He asked to meet me!" I whispered.
"Okay, you really have to compose yourself!" the woman behind me laughed. "Just breathe!"
I could barely move. "Toxic" came on, and I said to Cris, "This is my song for Clay. This is ours!" She just laughed and kept hugging me.
When the number one song was over, I sat down again and got myself calm. "I'll be fine. I'll be fine. I'm okay." Again, Jerome came over and grabbed me.
"You guys, come on." He had a little squabble with the MTV guys who didn't want me and Cristen to go backstage, but we just kind of pushed right through them.
"Stay here," he told me, pulling the curtain closed a little more. He stepped back and...
Our eyes met. He grinned, almost running to me.
Clay: Hi! What's your name?
Me: Oh, my God... Cailin.
Clay: *hugs me so hard, smells so good* Cailin. Are you okay?
[Note - everyone should say my name with a Southern twang!]
Me: I'll be fine. *crying*
Clay: Oh! *takes my hands in both of his* Are you coming to the show tomorrow night?
Me: Yeah...seventeenth row.
[Note 2 - I know I should have said no, but I can't lie to those eyes!]
Cris: And she was nice enough to give me the extra ticket.
Clay: *lets go of my hands* And what's your name?
Cris: Cristen. *hugs her* I left you stuff in Philly last night.
Clay: Oh? What?
Cris: Tea, throat drops, puppy sushi...
Clay: I drank your tea this morning! Right?
Jon: Yeah!
[Note 3 - Jon? Yeah, scruffily cute and totally into Clay!]
Clay: ...and the sushi...
Cris: For the dog, not you.
Clay: Oh, honey, I wouldn't eat it. *grins, turns back to me* They're gonna make me leave. Where are you sitting tomorrow? Oh, wait, I asked you already.
Me: Seventeenth row, stage right.
Clay: Seventeenth row...right...that's my, um... *thinks* ...my left.
[Note 4 - sheer brilliance on Aiken's part. *lol*]
Me: *laughs nervously* Yeah.
Clay: Seventeenth row, my left. I'll remember that. I'll look for you!
Me: Oh, my God.
Clay: *laughs* I'll look for you! It was so nice to meet you, Cailin.
Me: Me, too.
Clay: I'm glad you're coming to the show tomorrow. *hugs me again, even harder* 'Bye!
...and he ran off, John and Jerome in tow.
Cristen and I somehow floated out of the backstage area and to the line to pick up our coats and bags. I was crying the whole time, (even though the woman behind me thought I was crazy...grr,) and Cris just kept saying, "Oh, my God. This is so not real."
onedesire texted us to tell us that we were on camera, (I was the crying girl right after "The Way" -- screencap anyone?,) so we called her and told her everything. I couldn't get over how good he smelled, how tightly he squeezed me, how beautiful his eyes were, how soft his hands were...that out of all the gorgeous girls in the audience, Clay Aiken had seen me, in all my fan!girl glory, and decided I was the one he wanted to meet.
I don't know what made Courtney give us the bracelets, despite our history. I don't know what caused Clay to look over to us and think, "I need to meet her," despite my red eyes and my tears. I'm not the most religious person in the world, despite my WWJD? bracelet, but after Jerome came over to me, I looked up and just whispered, "Thank you."
I've never been in love, but I'm pretty sure Clay's stolen my heart. He is just an amazing guy. And even without the camera that had been tucked away by security, even without a piece of paper and signature...there's no doubt in my mind that this memory will forever be one of my favorites.
I think I'll go crash now...it's been a long, eventful day. I don't even want to think about tomorrow and what could happen if Clay did see me again. (Not that I honestly expect that, but I will be making some sort of sign to try and remind him who I am.)
Good night, everyone!