(no subject)
I really don't want to live. There are times such as these where I have to force myself to see reasons for living, and it just doesn't work. Yeah, there are people who say they don't want it to happen, but it doesn't change the way I feel about my own life.
I'm a useless, worthless sack of flesh. I can't do anything good that's worthwhile, and I have no skills that are needed by anyone. I've always tried to be a decent person, but there is no point in becoming one if you're living with such a dull personality. Love has always been an important factor for me, and I've always failed miserably at it. Even now, knowing she's being adored by what's most likely every guy out there, I am not allowed to be jealous or feel like it's my responsibility to take her back, because she doesn't want me, she doesn't need me anymore.
Noone wants me, and noone needs me. I am the best friend of noone, and there is no necessity for me to go on living, other than for my own meaningless self existence. Even if there were a glimmer of hope, living out my life is troublesome with my massive debt I've accrued over this past year alone.
I tend to have this feeling swelling up inside me several times a year, and every single time I wonder why I didn't go through with it all the times before. Every time feels closer however, and I can not guarantee my own life this time. Something needs to happen, whether it be an end or a last minute epiphany. I cannot take this life anymore.
I love the people in my life, and I have noone to blame but myself for being so distant. I am not one to keep in contact consistently, I am lazy and unenthusiastic about looking forward to each and every day I wake up to.
I'm a useless, worthless sack of flesh. I can't do anything good that's worthwhile, and I have no skills that are needed by anyone. I've always tried to be a decent person, but there is no point in becoming one if you're living with such a dull personality. Love has always been an important factor for me, and I've always failed miserably at it. Even now, knowing she's being adored by what's most likely every guy out there, I am not allowed to be jealous or feel like it's my responsibility to take her back, because she doesn't want me, she doesn't need me anymore.
Noone wants me, and noone needs me. I am the best friend of noone, and there is no necessity for me to go on living, other than for my own meaningless self existence. Even if there were a glimmer of hope, living out my life is troublesome with my massive debt I've accrued over this past year alone.
I tend to have this feeling swelling up inside me several times a year, and every single time I wonder why I didn't go through with it all the times before. Every time feels closer however, and I can not guarantee my own life this time. Something needs to happen, whether it be an end or a last minute epiphany. I cannot take this life anymore.
I love the people in my life, and I have noone to blame but myself for being so distant. I am not one to keep in contact consistently, I am lazy and unenthusiastic about looking forward to each and every day I wake up to.