SIDE EFFECTS: increased heartbeat, breathing; decreased appetite, motivation; fatality
NOT EVEN WITH A TALL GLASS OF WATER COULD I SWALLOW YOU. . .searching the void within me to toss the endless scribbles of black onto the paper in front of me is both challenging and soothing. all the active thought polluting my every function has begun to take its toll. each glance, word, breath, touch, joke, cry for attention, in every encounter, every tryst, every rendevous that we experience on what seems to be the end of every month only shows me how i have not yet moved on. accepting the idea of the distance has evaporated itself into my daily groove, yet its the random moments that always rewind the endless rolls of film ive stored away somewhere deep inside of me, that at the time of hiding, i never wanted to uncover again, but honestly who was i kidding. my ears always hear the same things that within hours of execution i am nauseated with pain for giving in, being overcome with being so naive, and realizing that the simple acts in the past now carry much more baggage of emotion, and psychological strength, that these meetings cannot be as carefree as i once believed they could. like rope to a flame, each strand burning away as my solid composure plumets to the ground melting and transforming into liquid around your feet. are you far away in a new life, somewhere untouchable from where i am, am i far away, in your thoughts sometimes. . .