(no subject)
this post in kind of in response to chelsea bell's journal about religion, because it made me think when i was trying to write a response. and it made me realize that my answer is much to long and complicated for a comment on her journal
So, what are my religious beliefs?
i am at a curious place in my life regarding religion and faith.
i was raised in a christian household and i grew up going to church.
part of me still kinda identifies as christian and a well told sermon on passages to from the bible can still be very impactful for me. (see below)
but i feel like the the parts of christianity that still have importance and impact on my life are the parts about love, hope, faith, kindness and dealing with loss. and those things are not limited to christianity, by any means.
and while i do want to believe in God, or the Holy Spirit, and i do believe in it in some way, i am just not sure how far that belief goes.
and this honestly causes me some angst, because part of me that was raised believing that god and jesus and christianity were the right thing, the only way to heaven. and that part of me is really kinda freaked out by the realization that i dont really believe in the divinity of jesus, or those elements of christianity any more.
so while maybe i'll continue to say that i am christian, what i really am. what i really believe in, and what i really hope i am, is a good person. a good, hopeful person. and i dont believe that that is limited to any religion.
so basically i am in a state of flux. of change, of uncertainty.
but its not a bad place, its just an interesting place
if you have 27 minutes to listen to something i found this incredibly cool and is a good encapsulation of how religion makes me feel
its a podcast, and the basis of it is the story of Abraham and Issac and also Noah and the flood. but it is really about the emotions behind those stories and why they are important and in some ways transcend religion and are important on a level more akin to humanity and universal moral feelings and questions.
http://blogs.wnyc.org/radiolab/2009/04/07/in-silence/
Quotes:
"they could feel the suffering of others... i have to believe that beneath their silence, barely contained, was the furious roar of two furious, angry voluptuous human hearts. filled with questions and worry and insult and wonder. why my son? why isaac? why slaughter so many innocent creatures in a deluge? why is this happening? why is this necessary?
i need a reason i need, an answer, i need to know. and i believe Abraham and Noah have those feelings but they had something else too. they had a hope. a deep hope. that beyond reason that beyond understanding. that somehow there is good in these terrible deeds. That god is merciful in ways we cant understand. That we are not built to know. That we are not meant to know.
And that hope barely just barely contained their horror and their anger and their insult. But i have to think that, in both of them, it was a mighty struggle to smother what their hearts felt, to put their hope in a power that was beyond their understanding.
because the other part about being human, a good human, beyond our capacity to love and to care is a desire for answers. For explanations. A desire to know why?
And here i think is the key to this story's power because all of us, not just noah and abraham, all of use live with this paradox. To see things that seem wrong, that seem cruel, and to wonder: is there a logic, a higher logic to explain what we see.
And if we cant know that logic. If we can just hope for it, hope that there is an explanation, is that enough? can we live with the fact that we may never know, that all we have is hope? can we face the terrible silence in the universe with just hope in good, in good.
This is a powerful question."
"if love and mercy are such good things, why are they missing so much of the time? Abraham can ask, Noah can ask, i can ask: how dare you kill those animals? All that innocent life? How dare you ask a father to kill his son, his own son? How dare you kill that boy in Darfur, in Treblinka, in Bagdad?
I hope there is a reason. I sometimes think there is a reason. For the life of me i cant think of what the reason would be.
I know enough of life to know that god does not always send angels down to stave the hand of the killer as you did with Abraham, sometimes the killer kills, often the killer kills, and yet against that awful indifference we survive, and often we hope."
So, what are my religious beliefs?
i am at a curious place in my life regarding religion and faith.
i was raised in a christian household and i grew up going to church.
part of me still kinda identifies as christian and a well told sermon on passages to from the bible can still be very impactful for me. (see below)
but i feel like the the parts of christianity that still have importance and impact on my life are the parts about love, hope, faith, kindness and dealing with loss. and those things are not limited to christianity, by any means.
and while i do want to believe in God, or the Holy Spirit, and i do believe in it in some way, i am just not sure how far that belief goes.
and this honestly causes me some angst, because part of me that was raised believing that god and jesus and christianity were the right thing, the only way to heaven. and that part of me is really kinda freaked out by the realization that i dont really believe in the divinity of jesus, or those elements of christianity any more.
so while maybe i'll continue to say that i am christian, what i really am. what i really believe in, and what i really hope i am, is a good person. a good, hopeful person. and i dont believe that that is limited to any religion.
so basically i am in a state of flux. of change, of uncertainty.
but its not a bad place, its just an interesting place
if you have 27 minutes to listen to something i found this incredibly cool and is a good encapsulation of how religion makes me feel
its a podcast, and the basis of it is the story of Abraham and Issac and also Noah and the flood. but it is really about the emotions behind those stories and why they are important and in some ways transcend religion and are important on a level more akin to humanity and universal moral feelings and questions.
http://blogs.wnyc.org/radiolab/2009/04/07/in-silence/
Quotes:
"they could feel the suffering of others... i have to believe that beneath their silence, barely contained, was the furious roar of two furious, angry voluptuous human hearts. filled with questions and worry and insult and wonder. why my son? why isaac? why slaughter so many innocent creatures in a deluge? why is this happening? why is this necessary?
i need a reason i need, an answer, i need to know. and i believe Abraham and Noah have those feelings but they had something else too. they had a hope. a deep hope. that beyond reason that beyond understanding. that somehow there is good in these terrible deeds. That god is merciful in ways we cant understand. That we are not built to know. That we are not meant to know.
And that hope barely just barely contained their horror and their anger and their insult. But i have to think that, in both of them, it was a mighty struggle to smother what their hearts felt, to put their hope in a power that was beyond their understanding.
because the other part about being human, a good human, beyond our capacity to love and to care is a desire for answers. For explanations. A desire to know why?
And here i think is the key to this story's power because all of us, not just noah and abraham, all of use live with this paradox. To see things that seem wrong, that seem cruel, and to wonder: is there a logic, a higher logic to explain what we see.
And if we cant know that logic. If we can just hope for it, hope that there is an explanation, is that enough? can we live with the fact that we may never know, that all we have is hope? can we face the terrible silence in the universe with just hope in good, in good.
This is a powerful question."
"if love and mercy are such good things, why are they missing so much of the time? Abraham can ask, Noah can ask, i can ask: how dare you kill those animals? All that innocent life? How dare you ask a father to kill his son, his own son? How dare you kill that boy in Darfur, in Treblinka, in Bagdad?
I hope there is a reason. I sometimes think there is a reason. For the life of me i cant think of what the reason would be.
I know enough of life to know that god does not always send angels down to stave the hand of the killer as you did with Abraham, sometimes the killer kills, often the killer kills, and yet against that awful indifference we survive, and often we hope."