state of the raven
Here is how I am. Conversation with the nice people at the vegan cafe: "Iona! Iced or regular?"
"Regular," I said, as usual completely delighted they didn't ask the preceding question.
"How can you drink regular coffee on a day like this?" - while getting it for me and not asking about the half and half and no sugar.
"It's my third," I said, and did not point out the fact of its being 2pm because the clock loomed over it all, ticking, ticking, ticking the ten or eleven days I have to do everything in the world.
The bad:
-My first exam in a week, followed by a twenty-four hour exam, oh god I am dreading it, was instructed today that "some people find sleeping helps during that period", thank you so much adorable con law prof;
-Still 10,000 words to write for two papers, need to turn in a first draft tomorrow, argh;
-...thus spending twelve hours a day in the law school. It's a nice place but it doesn't improve that much through long acquaintance.
-And it doesn't help that the charger on Shim's netbook has got a loose connection, meaning I have to watch the thing like a hawk while waiting for a new one to come, you couldn't last one more week you dratted thing.
The good:
-The weather! Twenty-five degrees and blue sky;
-Having been kept going by A Civil Campaign all of last week, I am now fifty pages into Memory and it's still my favourite, and relatedly people like my story yay!
-the law school's End of Semester Therapeutic Massage Party, all initial caps thankyouverymuch.
The neither good nor bad, I don't know, I have all these feelings, okay:
-In two weeks and four days I will get on a bus to New York City and thence on a flight to Manchester, and leave Ithaca behind, possibly for good. I don't want to go. I don't want to go! I have people and a life and way of being, I have restaurants I like and friends I can talk to about fandom and friends I can talk to about law, and every Wednesday the Siren and Baby E and I have breakfast at 10am in the law school cafeteria and argue cheerfully about First Amendment theory for an hour and I look forward to it enough to get me out of bed in the morning and at the vegan cafe they know my name and give me coffee without asking and my adviser tells me I have promise and I have three full CTB punch-cards and no time to go and order the three most expensive things on the menu and on my way home across the span bridge I cross the gorge at Fall Creek and watch the cataracts smashing off the rocks and feel a little of that intensity for a moment every single day.
And the worst part, this arctic wasteland where polar bears go to die has turned sweetly alluring. Green, rich-smelling turf, new growth, daffodils. Twenty-five degrees in the shade and lightning forking into the gorges and all luscious humidity and heat.
I don't want to go.
Back to work.
raven is also at Dreamwidth: there is or are
comment(s). Comment there or here.
"Regular," I said, as usual completely delighted they didn't ask the preceding question.
"How can you drink regular coffee on a day like this?" - while getting it for me and not asking about the half and half and no sugar.
"It's my third," I said, and did not point out the fact of its being 2pm because the clock loomed over it all, ticking, ticking, ticking the ten or eleven days I have to do everything in the world.
The bad:
-My first exam in a week, followed by a twenty-four hour exam, oh god I am dreading it, was instructed today that "some people find sleeping helps during that period", thank you so much adorable con law prof;
-Still 10,000 words to write for two papers, need to turn in a first draft tomorrow, argh;
-...thus spending twelve hours a day in the law school. It's a nice place but it doesn't improve that much through long acquaintance.
-And it doesn't help that the charger on Shim's netbook has got a loose connection, meaning I have to watch the thing like a hawk while waiting for a new one to come, you couldn't last one more week you dratted thing.
The good:
-The weather! Twenty-five degrees and blue sky;
-Having been kept going by A Civil Campaign all of last week, I am now fifty pages into Memory and it's still my favourite, and relatedly people like my story yay!
-the law school's End of Semester Therapeutic Massage Party, all initial caps thankyouverymuch.
The neither good nor bad, I don't know, I have all these feelings, okay:
-In two weeks and four days I will get on a bus to New York City and thence on a flight to Manchester, and leave Ithaca behind, possibly for good. I don't want to go. I don't want to go! I have people and a life and way of being, I have restaurants I like and friends I can talk to about fandom and friends I can talk to about law, and every Wednesday the Siren and Baby E and I have breakfast at 10am in the law school cafeteria and argue cheerfully about First Amendment theory for an hour and I look forward to it enough to get me out of bed in the morning and at the vegan cafe they know my name and give me coffee without asking and my adviser tells me I have promise and I have three full CTB punch-cards and no time to go and order the three most expensive things on the menu and on my way home across the span bridge I cross the gorge at Fall Creek and watch the cataracts smashing off the rocks and feel a little of that intensity for a moment every single day.
And the worst part, this arctic wasteland where polar bears go to die has turned sweetly alluring. Green, rich-smelling turf, new growth, daffodils. Twenty-five degrees in the shade and lightning forking into the gorges and all luscious humidity and heat.
I don't want to go.
Back to work.
raven is also at Dreamwidth: there is or are
comment(s). Comment there or here.