gahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!
I just want to scream!!!! The last few weeks have been so good yet so bad at the same time. So great with God... yet so bad with my friends! You know, so many people have told me that they are not my friends, if they treat me like this... but God is telling me otherwise. Honestly they were all the joy I had here. All my actual joy is back home, and well I can't do anything about that other than just talking to my juju over the phone every once in a while. Till this day she amazes me. That's why she is my angel. And now I have her sister too! Anyways... I've never had a good friend relationship... you know like its we're just ok friends... then when I got here, I found an awesome group of friends. They brought me so much joy, and honestly I couldn't have made it here without them. They are like my family away from home. But lately that just got twisted and turned upside down. Let's just say our friendship got tested...Yeah it got tested. And yes, I admit I made many mistakes... but I can't fix the past, only the future. And God knows how I feel about that. It's just since im such a closed person, and well that all started to change with them. They got me to open up a little, and to be more crazy than before. But now I don't have them, since a falling out. But you know... God is good, and I know He knows what I want, that is why I have been waiting on Him, and His will. But now, I have to do what I need to do...God I feel has put this in my hands, to take a step out of my comfort zone. So thank you Jesus! he is so so so so good! And yes God does provide! You may think He isn't there, but in reality He really is, you just have to open yourself to Him. That is something I have had to realize! And thank God I did! :) Had to let it out!!!!!