Two Poems
#1
I induce attacks of ill logic
That I hope will play mind tricks
And trick my sick ship of thought
Into steering toward brightness
Or even just mild bliss
Or an average of calmness
Instead of hauntingly dark mist
Around things I admire
About things which I conspire
To be great
But that’s fake
Because it came from a source
All entirely human
And everyone knows
Genius comes from a fountain
A wellspring of heaven
And those who wield it
Build a fire that they burn in
But I’ve never felt a burning
Not even smoldering but churning
Is often within me
When I’m learning
All the wrong things
Not heaven sent on wings
But instead I bring to myself
Things already there
Or things depressingly crude
That make humanity lude
And misunderstood
I Shield that light they exude
Measured against the mirror
Hurtling forward till I’m stowed
Unaware for a trip into floating
My bloating is
Unmistakable
Unfakable
Is otherwise
unwise
Courage dies
As the snake of my ambition
Wraps an ill-founded coil
To soil my soul
And tear my ego
From its purification
Into cessation
Of meaning
And peaceful-seeming actions
That encourage my health
In this balancing act
I’m left cold tired and hungry
And the opposites too
But it’s less glamorous
To be choking on food
An unheroic image
Of a gluttonous skin
With bones and a chin
That can’t take a hit
From aggression or wit
Or true feelings
But spits at things
So as to not get bit
Curling lips and sneering
At directions of steering
For anyone near me
Or far in senses of distance
Both physical-seeming
I’m weaning from that
I wanted to mention
Socially set mappings
Of me and those black things
That swarm around me
And The others I can’t see
In this plane of existence
Better to pretend they don’t exist
Smacks of repression
Which is quite unhealthy
Remember my balancing?
It might come back to help me
Or a friendly hand could right me
Is it too much I’m asking
I ask as I’m masking
My face for the response
Before even spoken
Words I knew even back then
In my mind
Give something back friend
Something undisturbed inside you
Your courage will find you
And you’ll move beyond truth
#2
Ignorance and caution
Things that go together often
It’s for the things that I’m unskilled
That I’m so often billed
In my mind
At least,
Based on what I think
Others think
Treading lightly
Til it’s mentioned,
Brought to my attention
In a multitude of ways
Because you don’t fail at a maze
Until you stop and gaze
cease seeking new ways
To get through the days.
I have an ounce of reason,
a gram or two of logic
we all need uniqueness,
at least that's why i bought it
Paid with a part of my soul
But who knows where that goes
Mine can’t turn a profit
It’s in its death throes
It goes and lies low
Always fails to speak up
Lets me do the guessing
As to whether my intentions
Are pure or distressing
To me or another
I wish both were the same
But interest in self helps you exploit the game
At least it makes us all happier
In an unpoetic sense
But how can you measure the sorrow
Of someone who can’t pay rent?
We can map it with a metric
A mathematical function
That reduces this feeling
To a point and a number
And a philosophy that says
the broke renter is broker
In happiness than the stoker
Who’s soon to be poorer
Than a soon to be borer
In a mine of trapped handshakes
Alert! value misportrayed
Of that businesslike salute
Where you sit and shoot the shit
Show off your wit
Sit, sip coffee you yearn
To benefit your firm
But that self interest goes wrong
When we recall the philosophy
Of morality
Wherein happiness across bodies
Is equitable and relatable
Not even debatable
One higher grabs the lower
Pulls them up by the neck
Puts them to work in a mill
Till we’re equal and peaceful
Because a dollar for a wheel
Is better spent on a meal
Luckily that idea so often congeals
And when you embrace such thought
Maybe start to believe it
You’ll lose all feeling for feelings
Find it’s hard to retrieve it.
You have no sympathy
For the starving and ill
Only awe and admiration
For that which stands still
I induce attacks of ill logic
That I hope will play mind tricks
And trick my sick ship of thought
Into steering toward brightness
Or even just mild bliss
Or an average of calmness
Instead of hauntingly dark mist
Around things I admire
About things which I conspire
To be great
But that’s fake
Because it came from a source
All entirely human
And everyone knows
Genius comes from a fountain
A wellspring of heaven
And those who wield it
Build a fire that they burn in
But I’ve never felt a burning
Not even smoldering but churning
Is often within me
When I’m learning
All the wrong things
Not heaven sent on wings
But instead I bring to myself
Things already there
Or things depressingly crude
That make humanity lude
And misunderstood
I Shield that light they exude
Measured against the mirror
Hurtling forward till I’m stowed
Unaware for a trip into floating
My bloating is
Unmistakable
Unfakable
Is otherwise
unwise
Courage dies
As the snake of my ambition
Wraps an ill-founded coil
To soil my soul
And tear my ego
From its purification
Into cessation
Of meaning
And peaceful-seeming actions
That encourage my health
In this balancing act
I’m left cold tired and hungry
And the opposites too
But it’s less glamorous
To be choking on food
An unheroic image
Of a gluttonous skin
With bones and a chin
That can’t take a hit
From aggression or wit
Or true feelings
But spits at things
So as to not get bit
Curling lips and sneering
At directions of steering
For anyone near me
Or far in senses of distance
Both physical-seeming
I’m weaning from that
I wanted to mention
Socially set mappings
Of me and those black things
That swarm around me
And The others I can’t see
In this plane of existence
Better to pretend they don’t exist
Smacks of repression
Which is quite unhealthy
Remember my balancing?
It might come back to help me
Or a friendly hand could right me
Is it too much I’m asking
I ask as I’m masking
My face for the response
Before even spoken
Words I knew even back then
In my mind
Give something back friend
Something undisturbed inside you
Your courage will find you
And you’ll move beyond truth
#2
Ignorance and caution
Things that go together often
It’s for the things that I’m unskilled
That I’m so often billed
In my mind
At least,
Based on what I think
Others think
Treading lightly
Til it’s mentioned,
Brought to my attention
In a multitude of ways
Because you don’t fail at a maze
Until you stop and gaze
cease seeking new ways
To get through the days.
I have an ounce of reason,
a gram or two of logic
we all need uniqueness,
at least that's why i bought it
Paid with a part of my soul
But who knows where that goes
Mine can’t turn a profit
It’s in its death throes
It goes and lies low
Always fails to speak up
Lets me do the guessing
As to whether my intentions
Are pure or distressing
To me or another
I wish both were the same
But interest in self helps you exploit the game
At least it makes us all happier
In an unpoetic sense
But how can you measure the sorrow
Of someone who can’t pay rent?
We can map it with a metric
A mathematical function
That reduces this feeling
To a point and a number
And a philosophy that says
the broke renter is broker
In happiness than the stoker
Who’s soon to be poorer
Than a soon to be borer
In a mine of trapped handshakes
Alert! value misportrayed
Of that businesslike salute
Where you sit and shoot the shit
Show off your wit
Sit, sip coffee you yearn
To benefit your firm
But that self interest goes wrong
When we recall the philosophy
Of morality
Wherein happiness across bodies
Is equitable and relatable
Not even debatable
One higher grabs the lower
Pulls them up by the neck
Puts them to work in a mill
Till we’re equal and peaceful
Because a dollar for a wheel
Is better spent on a meal
Luckily that idea so often congeals
And when you embrace such thought
Maybe start to believe it
You’ll lose all feeling for feelings
Find it’s hard to retrieve it.
You have no sympathy
For the starving and ill
Only awe and admiration
For that which stands still