HEY IM HERE AGAIN
Hey, i havent written in a while. well, anyways i been talking t o this girl AMANDA and she seems cool. i care about her and she cares about me.Well i havent been able to find a job yet. this temp service i am in wont find me a job till tuesday now which sucks big time. cuz i have things to pay for . Sometimes i get depressed becuz i dont have a social life . but its hard t o go out and just meet people off the street who prolly dont care about meeting people. and then the places i go to they just dont seem to wanna associate with me . but im not gonna give up. there has to be friends out there for me. Its about to rain here i wish i had friends then i could get out of this house. why doesnt anyone wanna talk to me ?. Just cuz i screwed up when i was younger doesnt mean i have to be ignored or even hated. Well i like this movie called Strange Voices. its about this college girl who starts hearing voices fro m her computer then she thinks people are against her and she flipps out one day and her parents take her to the E.R. the doctor there says she has symptoms of schizophrenia and she needs help and pills to get better . I think its weird that my doctor says i have schizophrenia well a mild case of it.but idont hear voices i think people r talking botu me or they are against me. i also have weird thoughts of girls sometimes which prolly is caused by my loss of sense of reality. i can t help to think that way about girls sometimes. but anyways some people say im a freak but i dont think i am really tho. maybe soem thoughts of mine are very weird . anyways these seroquel pills im taken dragg me down and make me drowsy which is why i dont take alot during the day otherwise im useless and i sleep all day. and that makes me aggravated cuz sleep is awaste of time . wel llast night i took 2 pills and 2 hours later my eyes were so heavy and my whole body was weak and TIRED!! Then i wake up and still am drowsy somewhat. so those pills are shity. well awhile ago i cut my self to relieve stress and to feel something like u know pain or somethign . but my parents saw the cuts n my dad goes overboard even tho im 24 yrs old . but he said he was sory a day after cuz he doesnt understand WHY i cut myself. some times i just wish my parents would leave me the hell alone . but that'll never happen till i move out on my own. Well anyways i hope to get a job on tuesday it really sucks that idont have one this weekend but the temp service is closed till TUESDAY cuz of the holiday. well thats all i got for now later .